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If both parties are equal participants, why does the man always lose? Should the laws be changed to make it fair for men and women? Are is it fair for men to always lose?

2007-02-02 08:24:45 · 15 answers · asked by John J 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

15 answers

because the laws suck
the women need to tell the men before they get married , that if it doesnt work out the will rake them across the coals , take everything that they have worked for , and do everything they can do to make their life miserable .
be honest up front before the man signs on the dotted line

2007-02-02 09:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Men don't 'always' get the short end of the stick in divorce and custody.

Historically woman have been the care givers for the children. They have historically earned less money, while the man has been the hunter gatherer - or wage earner. These conditions continue to exist to a certain degree even today. Therefore, the custody will usually favor the mother, especially if she has been the primary care giver for the children, and if the father earns more money.

A new ploy has begun where men will actively seek custody of the children, they don't want custody, what they want is to hurt the mother, and attempt to reduce the child support. Some do it thinking that they really want it, but they don't. Others don't want anyone telling them when where and how they will see their children. When they lose, they show no interest (or considerably less) interested in their children. When given custody, the percentages are overwhelming, they give custody back to the mother. Judges are not blind to this, so they have to decide if the father is genuinely interested in the children or are using them as pawns. Unfair, to a certain degree yes. But, those children that were being used, their lives and self-esteem are shattered for life.

There is no easy solution to this, perhaps we should make getting a divorce a much harder process. Maybe make it more difficult to get married in the first place.

There real losers in divorce are the children, make no mistake, their lives will be forever altered through no actions of their own.

2007-02-02 16:44:13 · answer #2 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 1 0

I think it has to do with the fact that 99% of the time the children go with the woman so the father has to pay child support. Then I think it also has to do with most women stay at home to raise the kids and give up having a career while the husband works. So when a divorce happens the courts try to help the woman financially to get back on her feet. Here in my state, Oregon, the law is that everything is divided down the middle equally and we are a no fault state which means they don't care if someone cheated or not.

I know there are some women out there who take their husbands through the wringer financially, but not all of us. When I left my exhusband because of infideility I left all of the things we acrued during our marriange and only took what I had before we got married. I could have taken more but I didn't want to continue with the nastiness that was going on.

2007-02-02 16:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 1 0

That is a commonly believed myth among divorced men.

In the real world, usually women get custody because the man doesn't want it. Typically if the man wants custody, he'll get it, even if there have been allegations of physical or sexual abuse and even if the mother is the primary caregiver and the father is just going to leave the kid with his new girlfriend.

Sorry, brother, I can't join you in your male self-pity party - facts are facts and, in the real world, men have the advantage in divorce cases!!!

2007-02-02 16:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Men don't always get the shaft in divorce, but the ones who do many times deserve it. Many times the man is not prepared, meaning not prepared for court, not prepared emotionally and/or didn't even know the divorce was coming. It has been my experience that women usually prepare for and initiate a plan for divorce, while most men don't do this.

2007-02-02 17:25:57 · answer #5 · answered by simple_man 1 · 1 0

They don't always lose. However it requires extremely negligent, irresponsible, or criminal behavior on the part of the mother for the father to be awarded custody. It is this way because our society believes that mothers are better at taking care of children than fathers, period. I'll never have to worry about it because I will never get divorced. I entered into a contract and I always keep my word even if I end up unhappy.

2007-02-02 16:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by theswedishfish710 4 · 0 1

Men don't always lose. My dad had primary placement of me and my sister when my parents divorced-he had 3 more days a year I think. But generally the judges are conservative and don't want to split up a mother and her children. I think the parents need to pull their heads out of their behinds and think about what's fair to the kids and not just themselves.

2007-02-02 16:34:17 · answer #7 · answered by Rae 3 · 1 0

Um, I hate to burst your bubble, but men don't ALWAYS get the short end of the stick. I am paying more child support for three children than most men I know, and he got everything. I do mean everything, and in case you're wondering, no....I was not an unfit mother. "It rains on the just and the unjust", and it doesn't matter if you have a pp in your pants or not.

2007-02-02 16:32:02 · answer #8 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 3 1

so u thing men always get the short end huh, and women dont. never know what the situation is or what happened. so what did u do to feel this way.

2007-02-02 16:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

it is equal now...do u really want to be stuck taking care of a crying 1 year old...and changing diapers...and who is gonna watch that kid while u work...??? hmmm...

yes, my hubby got custody of one of our daughters once she was 14. At that age she was old enough to tell the judge she wanted to go live with Daddy and yes, then I paid child support...so it is equal...fight for custody if that is what u want...just be sure it is what u want

2007-02-02 16:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 3 0

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