I have devoted my life to God and changed my ways. A few years ago I decided i do not want to participate in the gay lifestyle. I have went to the doctor and got tested for all Stds and i am clean. I have been dating only women for the past year and i enjoy it. I just want to live a normal life and get married and have children. But why do the gay people that i knew keep trying to contact me and put me down for not wanted to be apart of that lifestyle. They keep telling me i will fail and they keep trying to out me as "one of them". But im not. I love women. If i turned my back on that lifestyle why do i keep getting it shoved in my face. Is it God testing me. Or is it the Devil Tempting me to Sin? Please let me know what you think?
2007-02-02 08:10:29 · 18 answers · asked by Ambak J 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh by the way im not here to disparage anyone. Im only stating how I feel about things. Im actually asking why i an being treated unfairly for my decisions. Whats normal in my eyes may be different in someone elses. I am only asking for ways do deal with others disprecting me for my choices.
2007-02-02 08:19:09 · update #1
if you do not want "gayness" shoved in your face, it is best to remove your face from crotches. That is the only way that "gayness" gets shoved in anyone's face - everything else is all straight ads, TV shows, films, etc. I wish they would stop cramming their "lifestyle" down our throats 24/7 . . . .
If you were born gay, you are still gay. You can date whomever you want, and this fact will not change. Ever.
If you were not gay, then great as well. This will not change either.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being exactly as God made you, whether that is LGBT or straight. This IS a normal life. You can have children either way.
Do not come here to disparage us and then ask us for help.
2007-02-02 08:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
No matter how hard you try you cant change. You may be saying that you've changed because you've learned to hide those thoughts and temptations in the back of your mind, but really, your just lying to yourself. You may say you like women (and who knows! you really might) but you also may be just trying to convince yourself that because you feel "unnormal for being gay", because if you were born gay, you cannot change yourself. And no matter what anyone has ever said, being gay is not work of the devil! God made everyone the way they are. So basically I'm just telling you that if you continue to lie to yourself, you will have a very unhappy life.
2007-02-02 09:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by BlondBoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'd like to say this probably fits more in the Religion & Spirituality section since you aren't, as you say, gay any more.
The reason your friends feel betrayed is because you have turned your back on them and are basically saying you aren't good enough anymore and not only that but I now believe you are "broken" or sinful. Many also believe that this is not a choice but simply a product of genetics and your environment as you grew up. Good luck with your life. I hope for your sake that you don't wake up 20 years from now, with a life full of regrets behind you. I know a few people who came to this realization in their 40s or 50s.
2007-02-02 08:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that people tend to discount the depth of committment from others who made radical changes in thier life. Whether that be by "getting religion" or changing thier lifestyle to "reflect my true feelings." One cannot judge your direction in life, and sadly, many people we consider friends try to judge us based on our history rather than current events. Just as unfortuante is that the vast majority of people are more accurately judged by thier history than thier current direction. If you have changed your ways as some would say, then hold fast to the direction you want to move now. This may require a new set of friends, honesty with those new friends about your past and a committment by you to let your actions speak rather than your words. You did the right thing by checking yourself out medically, but some symptoms do not present themselves for months or even years, but you seem to have passed that milestone.
As far as the "normal" life being to get married and have children, let me assure you there is no such thing as "normal" and marraige. It is a great deal of work, heartache, joy, frustration, love and everything else that goes into a relationship and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Finally, having your past "shoved in your face" is something that you have to face and excuse the expression, "face like a man". If you now view your former lifestyle as "sin", then the temptation is always there, it is how we react to each of obsticles that life presents to us that displays our character. It's convienent to blame a "devil" or "demon" for temptation (and that is the general context as explained by theology) but God gave humans the ability to Choose, among the most awesome gifts that humans have. How we use that ability and to what extent we surrender it, speaks volumes about our character and the image we show others. Do what you believe is best for you in your heart, surround yourself with friends that don't judge you, but love you for who you area and you will find that the blessings just happen. (This also falls into the category of bad things=Devil, Good things= God but that;s a whole 'nother postline!) Best wishes with your choices!
2007-02-02 08:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by sapphire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the part in Genesis 19 where Lot was in Sodom and the two angels came to visit? The crowd of homosexuals gathered around and demanded that the two strangers be brought out so the men of Sodom could have sex with them (notice, they weren't asking, they were demanding, which would be called gang rape in a hetero context). The angels made them all blind and "they wearied themselves to find the door" (v. 19).
Some folks are pretty persistent. If your vice was drugs or drinking, your buddies would be pestering you to go back with that too. Consider 1 Peter 4:3-4, the KJV language is a little old and quirky, but look it up in your own translation (New Living Translation is nice), "For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you".
What you are facing isn't easy. It isn't strange either. Hang in there. Trust God's truth when you are in doubt.
2007-02-02 08:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gay people you knew keep trying to contact you because they know there's no such thing as an ex-gay. They shouldn't be putting you down because that's mean. But they probably feel hurt by you and they're letting their frustrations out on you. Again, it's not nice of them, but that might be why they're doing it.
If your old friends are not treating you nicely then it sounds like they aren't friends anymore. Either have a talk with them letting them know that you are now looking for a woman to settle down with and you'd appreciate them respecting that, or if that doesn't work then ditch 'em. They shouldn't be treating you like crap just because they don't agree with you. Unless you've been doing some not-so-nice things yourself, like trying to get them to become ex-gay. If you've been doing that then they're definitely going to be mad at you and I wouldn't blame them for treating you like crap.
Now please listen to my opinion on this. I don't say it in order to change your opinion, but to give you something to think about, okay? I don't think that being gay is a bad thing. But let's compare it to alcoholism for now in order to make my point. Alcoholism doesn't have to do with your actions. It has to do with your internal thought process. Same with being gay. An alcoholic will always crave the alcohol, even if they never take another sip in their entire life. Alcoholism is a lifetime thing. Same with being gay. If you liked only men for your entire life before this lifestyle change, then you will continue to like men, even if you don't act on the urge. Now, I'm of the belief that being gay is neither good or bad. It just is. Just like hair color, eye color. It's just another part of a person. And it doesn't change. You can dye your hair a different color, but it will always be your natural shade. It won't suddenly start growing the different color that you dyed it.
This is why you really have to be careful with what you do next. Because if you marry a woman and then later realize what so many others realize... that they can't be happy living a lie... you will devastate your wife and any children you might have. And believe me a lot of people who thought they were ex-gay come to that realization.
Being gay is not evil. It does not mean that you can't devote your life to God. There are many religious gay people in the world. There is also more than one "gay lifestyle." There are gay people who find one partner to settle down with for the rest of their lives. They don't do drugs. They don't go clubbing and have random sex. They raise families. They do volunteer work.
Please love yourself for who you are. I'm glad that God was able to turn you away from the dangerous parts of one of the gay lifestyles. But that doesn't mean that being gay is evil.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
2007-02-02 08:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to preach like i know what your going threw cuz i don't but i do know that if your heart and religion is telling you this is how want to be...that is great. I know this sounds like running from your problems but it may help, try changing your number. If those people dont support your decision to change beliefs then they are not your friends. Stay away from them they will only get you off track.
I know that it is probably one of the hardest things you will have to do, but stick to your religion stay strong and do what makes YOU happy! good luck sweetie....i will pray for you!
2007-02-02 08:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by alexandra82387 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Puhleeze. Once you've been down the Homo Highway, there's no turning back. Stop fooling yourself.
God wants you to be the person He made you.
2007-02-02 08:53:41 · answer #8 · answered by cardinalboy97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations I wish you only the very best in this endavor. I hope you find true happiness and love. As for your friends tell them once or twice your feelings and if they can't respect your feelings tell them you can no longer be friends.
Stand up to them!
2007-02-02 08:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have found the mistakes you were making, I doubt that God would be testing you.
Submit yourselves therefore to God .Resist the devil and he will flee.-James 4:7
I hope you find the happiness that you need.
2007-02-02 08:24:37 · answer #10 · answered by great gig in the sky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋