how do i become more social?

Question

I try so hard, but i always matain to be quite..i will have no problem talking to them by saying hey how u doing hows class etc..but then i always get stuck and i have nothing to day ..and when people have a conversation i never contribute bc i never no what to say..i dont worry about what im going to say i just dont know what to say..this is affecting me bc ppl think im becoming more and more boring and im loosing friends and its really hard to make more

Answer 1

you have to take it slow. you cant go from being super shy to being the life of the party. it takes baby steps. i had a similar problem recently. i am a young mom and wanted other young moms friends because i have nothing in common with other 25 year olds, most have no kids. and older moms tend to look down on me. so, i wanted some friends who i had somehting in common with who know what its like. i started with an online supprt group for young moms. then i joined a playgroup (found it online), most of the moms were alot older but i did meet one other mom my age. then from there i started having the guts to talk to other moms i saw at the park or at my son's school. basically we would talk about our kids or whatever. so im sure there are people you have something in common with that you could talk about things with. its easier talking one on one than in a big group when you are shy. i know this sounds so cliche but try joining some kind of group or class where you will have alot on common with the other people. start with an online group then work your way up to a group that meets. there are tons of yahoo groups, you should check them out. then when your feeling comfortable with someone, ask for an email address or a phone #. its scary asking that but what do you have to lose? just say somehitng like, we should hang out sometime. whats your #? and what i do when i first meet someone is i text them instead of calling the first time. its way less intimidating. just text somehting like, hey, what are you up to this weekend? wanna meet for a drink? (or coffee, whatever) thats what i do. so a year ago i had no mom friends but now i have several. its great hving a group of friends that i can really relate to. i actually started my own playgroup for moms in there 20s a couple months ago, its been great. alot of the girls in the group had no friends or very few friends before they joined teh group, and its been life changing for them. being a young mom can be a very isolating thing. i know you are in a different situation than me, but no matter who you are, having friends to share life with makes it so much easier to get thru the day! so just put yourself out there. the worst someone can say is no! and if they do so what! they are the ones missing out, not you! good luck! i wish you the best!!! :)

Answer 2

Don't worry about it. You are who you are. I am the same way and I just stick to my few close friends and I don't worry about having more. I get more enjoyment spending time on my own than with other people, outside of my wife and children. Find a small group of friends that can relate with you and don't worry about the others. Those friends of yours that don't leave, they are your true friends. They will stick by you through thick and thin. Trust me, I know from experience. I am 30 now and I can count my friends on one hand. I know that those few friends will be there for me no matter what. You will be fine. Don't get discouraged and be positive. Everything will work out.

Answer 3

First you have to get off of Yahoo! and actually intermingle with people.

But don't beat yourself up for not being social. You really don't need a lot of friends, but one true one.

Listen to what people say and see if you hear someone mention something that you like or are knowledgable about. That's a good way to bring up a subject. Go to events that you like and meet people there.

Finally, stop trying to entertain others and just be yourself as someone said earlier.

Answer 4

I can relate to a certain extent. I can run out of things myself. The key is to find common ground. If they talk about the weather, think about something that happened to you because of the weather. If they talk about class, talk about something goofy or interesting that happened in your class. Try to steer the conversation over to something you know, then you can talk about it more. If the conversation is about something you don't know much about, just nod your head and say "i see" or "uh huh" just to let them know you are listening. People enjoy being around someone that is a good listener almost as much as someone that has good stories.

Answer 5

Get some jokes or something, party tricks, like cards, or find some activity that people will like.

With me, I was a wallhanger at parties, then I took a class in bartending, and at parties I became more social by making everyone's drinks.

Answer 6

try to talk about smth u like smth u are realy intrested in.don`t listen to u talking try to make the intrelocutor understand what u mean.use informal language don`t force yourself to be more than you are but nor less,don`t be afraid to talk i`m sure u have a lot to say and there are alot of people waiting to hear it.contribute to conversations relaxed and trying to be yourself
good luck!!!

Answer 7

Join a class or a group where people have similar interests that you can build off of.

Answer 8

Develop more interests. Get into music, movies, and sports. The more you know about these things, the more you will be able to say.

Answer 9

Your generation is struggling with the fact that they can interact via internet/text message/IM.... this isnt just a problem that's unique to you...

Answer 10

Just hang out with me and you'll be cool!


but seriously if you know anyone in your family who has good social skills, hang out with them, and it will start to rub off on you!!