Need help with 12 yr. old ?

Question

My niece is 12 and is very easily influenced.Staretd middle school this year. Her additude has changed. She started an account on myspace (when she was told not to even visit the site) and I found where she was talking to a boy friend. He was trying to pressure her in to having SEX!! She has recently started trying to get away with things and then she lies about them when caught. I know some of this is normal for her age. However,my sister is a singal parent and wants to establish open communication. We are scared this is just the start of a long road to bad situations. My sister doesn't know how to nipp this in the bud before it gets out of control. Please give some advice!

Answer 1

Take down her mysapce page and have a serious talk!!!

Answer 2

One thing you can do is restrict the sites she can visit
using parental control tools. Put the computer in the
living room where you can check out the sites she's on
periodically. This is a child that's heading for trouble.
Adult supervision means just that. If your sister is working
all the time then the girl should be in sports or supervised
after school programs where they don't have access to
a computer. I've had two friends in this situation and they
pulled their children out of public school and enrolled them
in all girls schools with uniforms. Within a month or so
they were both back on the right track. Open communication
is great but she needs some serious monitoring and a
loving but strict regime. Some schools offer scholarships
to help financially and your sister may have to up her work
load in some way to cover the extra expense...otherwise
she'll be fighting an uphill battle for the next 7 years! Having
a boyfriend requires maturity at even an adult level, much
less when you're a child of 12. Lying and thinking about sex,
breaking family rules and thinking that you're old enough to
actually know what you're doing is NOT normal for l2 years
old. Who told you that?

Answer 3

It relies upon pn grade, i think of. There are 12 300 and sixty 5 days olds in seventh grade, the place maximum persons are 13, and that they are purely as mature as the different seventh grader. they have been around people the comparable age for all time, so there somewhat isn't any distinction. yet between a 6th grader and a seventh grader, there's a distinction by using fact the seventh grader is prevalent with extra. additionally, between a 12 and 13 300 and sixty 5 days previous, the version isn't an entire 300 and sixty 5 days. it would purely be some months. I somewhat have some 12 300 and sixty 5 days previous friends in my grade, and that they act purely as mature, if no extra advantageous than anybody else, and all my friends are noticeably clever too. between an 11 and 13 300 and sixty 5 days previous inspite of the shown fact that, there's a distinction. An 11 300 and sixty 5 days previous is often in approximately 5th grade, together as a 13 300 and sixty 5 days previous is in approximately seventh. this is like me and my brother, and there's a large distinction. of direction, some people are extra immature (and my brother is seen strange by potential of noticeably plenty everybody in any case.) yet at this age, there's a distinction in adulthood. What i don't get is you may desire to be 12, and then once you're 13 you're magically a young person and regardless of. It relies upon inspite of the shown fact that.

Answer 4

If an adult cannot be in the room with your daughter when she is on the computer, sell the computer or cancel the internet subscription.

She is 12 and will be trying out all sorts of different things, such as sex, drugs, and rock&roll.

She is still a kid however and needs to be supervised by adults. When she was 6, did you leave her alone in a strip club? Of course not, she was little and vulnerable. She may have grown some since then, but she is still a kid. Kids learn by being taught or trial and error.

She should be able to keep her myspace account as long as an adult is sitting next to her when she is on the computer. Its called watching out for your kid. Then when the boy starts talking trash it brings up a teachable moment. What do you do? How do you know who this person is? Why would he want to talk to little girls about such things? When an adult is ready to teach, the child no longer needs to learn through trial and error. Its worth it for you and worth it for her....

And if you can't be there for her, sell the computer.

Answer 5

Stop it when you find it. As soon as they know they can get away with something they will move on to the next worse thing. Once they know their boundaries they will respect them. Probably not like them and probably throw a fit but they will respect that they were made. Remember that when they grow up they will thank you even though it sucks that they are mad at you now. Do what is best for HER not what will make her happy. There will be more open communication when she knows that you both care about her well being more than her fellings. Hope it works out!!

Answer 6

Sounds like its time to be open and honest with her. Be age appropriate, but also remember 12 yo's are smarter now. Be open with her about the dangers of sex, and the dangers of the internet. Tell her she can come to either of you to talk about anything. Just remember if you do this, you can't be judgemental or hard on her. Just listen and talk about it. She's pushing the boundaries because it's what kids her age due. Kids 12 and up aren't like they were when we were their age. Let her know this boyfriend may not be right for her if he's pressuring her into something. DON"T tell her she can't see him any more. Let her make the call. I know it's hard, but it's better to give them information, compassion and your attention. If she sees that she can talk to either of you about anything and you're not going to jump all over her about it, she's more likely to talk to you instead of doing whatever it is.

Answer 7

I'd start by taking away her internet privileges. She was told not to go to myspace and she created an account there? When she lies, she gets grounded for a week. No going anywhere other than school and maybe church group if they're into that.

Answer 8

this is a weird age. my sister is 13 and is testing my mom like crazy. shes also a single mother and 52 and disabled. she always calls me for help, i try but have a family and teen myself. you can try to set alot of ground rules, but some kids will rebel even more. im not saying not to, but you really have to stick to your guns and remain consistant, because they figure out how to get away with stuff, theyll run with it. i went through alot of drama when my sun turned 13. hes mellowed out by the time he turned 16/17. i know we get tired and life gets in the way, and sometimes you just have to trust your kid and hope for the best. if your niece was taught right from wrong and your sister sets a good example, everything will probably be okay. you have to let them fall once in a while and learn from their mistakes.

Answer 9

Let her know that the person that she is talking to may not be that tall dark handsome guy she thinks he is. It's my space for cryin' out loud! Let her know the consiquences of having her personal business put on the net for the world (including her class mates) to see. Even if she may not be sexually active this could still create a bad name for her. Be open to talk to her about anything. She may not just come out and talk to you so ask her questions about her life in general everyday. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I am thirteen, thankfully I do not know people like that. I would say she wants to be like another girl or some other girls. She could want attention, she could like a guy who likes another girl so she is trying to be like her. She could be stressed, she could be angry, she could be insecure and worried about her popularity. I sugest having a very deep conversation about life and treat her as an adult and believe she is as smart as you. Aske her many questons. Getting angry would not be a surprize, lying would not be a surprize. Do you remember being her age? Think about stuff you went through or other people went through and help her the best you can. Read her diary if she keeps one, it might give you the information you need. Yes she will get mad at you if she finds out, but you need to help her.

Answer 11

well really this isn't any of your business. so yeah shes gotta myspace and boy are trying to get her to have sex. sounds to me like every 12 year old girls life. kids are gonna do what they wanna d no matter wt is said or done believe me i was one who realized hey you can't MAKE me do a damn thing. but i do understand your concern i have a neice myself and i'm sure i'llbe all up in their business too. pretty much what happened with me is i needed more attention and not more like oh spend time with me an extra hour a day or an extra day on the weekend i wantd full on 100% of my mothers attention. not having hat i did act out alot. probably the worse of all my friends. pretty much she needs some tough love and attention.