my 11 years old son is going through behavior problems at school. How do i help him?

Question

He's very negative, lying, barely passing grades and dosen't seem to care.

Answer 1

If this is not his usual behavior and there is no chaos at home I would look into it, immediately . Talk to his teachers about it, see if there is something going on in school (bullying perhaps) or if his school work is too hard and he doesn't understand it. His teachers should know something and if anything they'll give you more insight if he is struggling with his subjects or is just lazy.
Chat with him and let him know that you love him, are really concerned about him and really want to help him but he has to let you in on it. Ask him if you have done something to cause this and what you can do to make things better. Seek counseling or someone he trusts if he refuses to open up to you, he may open up to someone outside his family.

Answer 2

Typical turbelent tween years of active hormones. All tweens and teens are disrepectful, defiant, and have attitude problems. You can first teach her how to better manage her anger. When inappropriate to lash out in anger, and learning to just drop it. Recommended for conflict resolution is to listen and know the other side's point of view, and be able to respond calmly in appropriate settings knowing the right and wrong of the problem or situation. I don't know if anyone actually follows it to the letter, but still. You can also try anger management groups, and finding constructive methods of venting anger and frustration through activities. One even suggests keeping a journal to let out all you're angry about at the end of the day. Did you ever ask her why she's so angry at people? Was it because she couldn't accept others or does she feel being treated unfairly? (goes back to teaching how to constructively manage anger problems). It's equally important to know both sides of the story before judging who's wrong. If she feels she's being treated unfairly, of course she's going to be more angry. ADHD I think not. A bad attitude or talkativeness alone, that is, does not constitute as ADHD. More of a surly temperament. Now, Bipolar maybe(I said maybe, since at this age kids are notoriously known for their attitudes) but trust your intuitive senses and don't rely on anyone to pretend to be the doctor. Not the teachers, the coach, me, and even doctors can misdiagnose. There's always counseling and extensive therapy available, without drugging.

Answer 3

Probally could benefit from having a positive male role model. I don't know if you are a single parent or not but if you are and he is not with his dad very often you might want to look for a "male mentor" . Have his spend more time with grandpa, an uncle or someone else in the family who can give a male perspective. Also, you might want to have him evaluated if you think he might have any type of learning disability. Also, look into possibly putting him in some afternoon program at the YMCA or Big Brother's, Big Sisters. Alot of behavioral problems are not necessarilty a diease but a lack of having the child's needs met.

Answer 4

Is he bright? Is he struggling with his schoolwork? Have you discussed it with the teacher and has the teacher confirmed that she/he thinks there is a problem?
Sometimes you can get help from the school if this is the problem. Try bribery, too. Plan something you know he will want and aim for that. As for the lying, check, double check everything. Never let him get away with a lie.
he does care. That's just a pose. Make sure you let him know you love him. Go out of your way to show it.

Answer 5

A lot of times there is a reason that even he doesn't know about. My son was doing the same thing when he was eight or nine years old, and the principal at school told me to take away all of his balls, so he couldn't play basketball, etc. I put them in the trunk of my car. A few days later the coach at school told me that that was the worse thing that I could do. I gave the balls back to him right away. The problem was, he was grieving because we were getting a divorce. He was making up all kinds of stories to tell the kids at school about his daddy. It took some time but things got better about a year later. He got so he could do his school work, etc.; but they never really get over a divorce.
When my son was 16 his father died of cancer.

Answer 6

Ask him why he feels this way.If he continues to lieing, then take things away for every Lie he tells. That is such a bad habbit for people to form.

You could also show him what lieing is like. Tell him you are making a big cake for dessert one night, and when he asks tell him "A cake? I lied to you, you are not getting a cake." And when he gets angry, explain to him that this is what other people feel like. You get their hopes up by telling lies and when they find out the truth, they get angry and upset. Tell him that every lie he tells, you are taking something. And you will keep taking things untill he has nothing but basics left (some clothing, not his fave cloths either) nutrious food (doesn't have to be tasty..)and supplies to do his homework.

He will learn that lieing does not work. I wouldn't resort to spanking or those types of punishments at this age, it really wont' work.

As for everything else..jsut keep up with that punishment till thigns improve.

Answer 7

has there been any drastic changes recently? divorce? new boyfriend? mybee he has problems at shcool with bullying, or maybe he is the one bullying, maybe crushing on a girl who he thinks dosent notice him, maybe its the teacher, who knows takl to him calmly and dont yell or get angry try to get to know what he does in shcool, who are his friends ,etc. Maybe talk to his teacers they might know how they have changed and might know what caused it but try not to let your son find out and do not be overly nosy and over protective or might push him away further or irritate the problem. I hope i helped in any way possible and i also hope it works out.

Answer 8

Ground his butt to the house and yard. No phone, video games, television until those grades come up.

Answer 9

Try paying more attention to him and ask what is going on.

Answer 10

Find out what happened. Counseling.