He belongs to a religion that is avant garde and could bring bad things/influences into my home (which my daughter lives in). He has gotten my daughter into this religion and I am now not comfortable at all around her. The religion is not Islam. I want them both out of my house. Help!! Please!! PS I am a Catholic and my husband is Baptist. Other children are Catholic (closet) and Neopagan.
2007-02-02 06:57:28 · 41 answers · asked by elizian 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the religion is Satanism and it is violent and hateful to me. I love my daughter but I don't want this stuff around me. A "closet" Catholic (my son) sneaks to go to church and doesn't admit that he really likes church.
2007-02-02 07:07:04 · update #1
I've talked to her and she is basically "I don't care that it your house and you don't want this here, I'm an adult and I'll do what I want. But by the way, I need lunch money and a new back pack and a new prom dress." She moved out 4 months ago with another boy and has now moved back in to my house. She asked to move back and was let back in with conditions. The problem is not so much I want to control her-its that its MY house and I want to be comfortable in it not chased out by her and and her friends. She can be/hang out with him but not at my house.
2007-02-02 07:20:57 · update #2
So tell the daughter she has 30 days to move out and get her own place. She's 18, she's an adult.
2007-02-02 07:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is 18 years old, she has the freedom to choose, she is an adult. If she is happy with this man, then you should be happy for her.
I understand that you may not agree with the religion or even like it. You also mentioned that you have children that are Neopagan. I would think that would raise levels of concern as well.
Love your daughter for who she is. Respect her and think about HER HAPPINESS and not what it is that you like and dislike.
I think that your big turn off is the religion and that is where your uncomfortable feelings come in.
You and your husband are of a different faith and it seems that the other kids could freely pick what they wanted to be, so why not the daughter that is there at home?
Being that she is 18, she should be thinking about getting a place of her own, especially if this guy is living there with her.
I would seriously talk to her. Not disown her, but let her know that she is 18, she's an adult and it's time to move on.
Disowning a child due to their choices is NOT the correct way to go.
2007-02-02 07:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a catholic and my boyfriend is a christian... we have some similar beliefs but others are way different... my mother has NEVER critisized my boyfriends beliefs, and neither shoul you. just because he is a different religion is does not mean he is a bad person... all religions pretty much say to do the right thing... you are saying that the boy is a different religion but has he done something that you disaprove of? if your daughter wants to change her religion then it is her decision.. she is 18, a woman now who can make her own decisions.. dont you think? that is so unreasonable and you should be ashamed because all you are doing is making your daughter hate you... you need to talk to her and make her realize or try to make her think the way you do... if thats what you want.. but kicking her out wont help.. it will lead her more and more into that religion.. so talk to her before you take action!
2007-02-02 07:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by Jessie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want your daughter out of your house? Don't be so hasty. She's an 18 year old. Chances are the relationship will sour in no time. Then what? You've kicked her out and done untold damage to your relationship because her current beau makes you "uncomfortable"? How about simply talking to her? Don't be judgmental. Ask her why she changed her beliefs. Ask her what she is looking for. Ask her to make sure she isn't doing it siomply because the boyfriend.
You didn't mention specifics. Is the religious practice one that will do her harm or do you simply not agree with it in principle? If the answer is the latter, just let her go about it for a bit. 18 year olds explore - it's what they do. Give her some space and don't run her out of your life. You'll regret it.
2007-02-02 07:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by Bill S 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you want her out of the house, tell her she has to find her own place. She's an adult now. But be prepared for a permanent break. If you want to have any influence on her, try to keep a good relationship, in spite of how you feel about this religion issue.
(What is a "closet" Catholic???)
2007-02-02 07:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow! This is a tough one... I don't know if there is any way that you can delicately go about fixing this... religion is a very tough subject sometimes... and to be newly influenced in the name of love.. wow. You're going to have a tough time. I'm about the same age as your daughter, but have never had religion in my life, and I can still see this being tough. If your relationship is close with your daughter, then possibly you can take some time alone with her and talk to her about your issues and how uncomfortable you are... I don't get along with my mother well, but I know that I would not feel good about making my mother uncomfortable.. but at the same time, if this religion is something that she feels strongly about, I don't think it's anybody's place to try and interfere with that, just as nobody has interfered with the fact that you're Catholic... good luck.
2007-02-02 07:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you SURE he is practicing Satanism or do you just think that based on his looks or tastes? I can guarantee if you refuse to except your daughter's boyfriend that it will drive even the sweetest girl right into the worst mans arms, as I did this with my boyfriends because my mom tried and sucessfully ruled my dating life. Later, I dated guys just to piss her off, and I was a good girl. Now I'm married and 28 years old and married to the guy my mom hated and I hate him now too. I know if my mom wasn't so dead set against it, that I would have never have married this man. Sooner or later your daughter will realize this too. Just stay out of it, and things will work out better in the long run.
2007-02-02 07:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by Destiny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a mixed religion home.You are now asking your daughter not date someone from another religion.Does this make sence to you.If you want her to stop then let her make her own choices.I know it is hard I to have a 19 year old son.He does not believe in God at all.What could be worse?Be supportive of everything she does and you will never loose your daughter,run her life and you wont be able to keep up with her.My next thing that leaves me clueless is the fact that you are catholic and you are married to a baptist?like mother like daughter.
2007-02-02 07:05:05 · answer #8 · answered by Susanna W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family sounds like it's very diverse in it beliefs. Try not to be so judgmental about your daughter's religion or the men she dates. If she realizes she made a wrong choice down the road, you can be there for her and guide her towards something better. However, if you make yourself the "bad guy" in this situation she may not want to turn to you for advice later. I’m sure you love your daughter very much and want the best for her. But, every action has a negative reaction. If you were to kick your daughter out chances are they will stay together longer, than if living under your roof. If I were you I would just wait it out. You don’t have to like what your daughter’s doing, but give her space to think clearly about her choices. Try not to pressure about this. She will in time come to her senses.
Or you could use tough love like my mom did. I was 22 and living on my own, and one day out of the blue I decided to move to Florida. So I called my mother as I packed my things, and told her my plan. She asked if I would stop by her house before I leave, because she had a few things she wanted to give me. So, I naively agreed. Once I got there I went inside to greet my mother. We had a nice pleasant chat, and I couldn’t believe she was handling this sudden news so well. But, as it turned out my dad had an extra key to my car, so he took it and placed it in a storage unit, while I was inside talking to my mom. I freaked out. My car, my phone, and my money everything was gone. Well, after a while she took me home, and gave me 50 cents and told me I better use it to call her when I came to my senses. I did of course get my car after a few days, but I never went to Florida.
2007-02-02 07:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you want your daughter out of your house but you want to maintain control over who she sees and what religion she pursues? Like someone else already said, i'm glad you're not my parent. She's 18. She can do what she wants. Don't expect to see her too often after you've kicked her out, because she will probably be living with the boyfriend you disapprove of.
2007-02-02 07:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋