Why in this world do we live and breathe
There must be a god there’s nothing to believe
No matter your race, colour or creed
In this life there’s nothing but greed.
Monopolies big business and such
Does our lives really mean that much ?
What have we done to this wonderful place
There is some answer, just look into space
Where did we come from? How did we grow?
The answer to this no body knows
2007-02-02 06:42:42 · 13 answers · asked by Westley K 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
I don't particular like it, but I give you an "A" for effort!
2007-02-02 06:46:47 · answer #1 · answered by smoothlova1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kinda like this version better:-
Why in this world do we live and breathe
There must be a god there’s so much belief
No matter your race, colour or creed
what wonderful life, tainted by greed
from big business to little its always the same
lust for the money, fortune and fame
however did we get so far out of touch,
where family and friends dont matter so much
What have we done to this wonderful Earth
where fascists and tyrranists have THE higher berths
how did it come to this, how can we out-grow?
The answer to this; is no body knows
2007-02-02 15:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a published poet and you still have so much work left with the feeling part of your poetry, the rhyming does not make poetry alive, it is the words that you choose and how you feel about your poem and work of art. No matter your race, color or creed. In this life there's nothing but greed. See I would phrase this, No matter the race and color of skin. In this life there's nothing but sin. If you want to use rhyme, use it with purpose and not words that are not part of the concept you started with. Continue working as I did for years and accomplishment will be yours.
2007-02-02 14:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lesha a Canadian. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change it to:
In this world, we live and breathe
There is no god, there's nothing to believe.
In this life there's only greed
No matter what race, color or creed.
Where did we come from? How did we grow?
In the spring it rains, in the winter it snows.
2007-02-02 14:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your poem makes a point
but without the proof
your message is carried
but is a slight mis truth
unfortuantly though
you point about greed
says more about you
and your lifes need
for in this world
there is more to gain
with love and happiness
it keeps us all sane
2007-02-02 14:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by crunchymonkey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is a God and I believe man messed up.
2007-02-06 03:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy sounds pretty suicidal to me. This is a statement to pessimism with no hope. No, don't like it.
2007-02-02 15:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by Beau Brummell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its depressing.I wouldnt want to read that if i was having a bad day
2007-02-02 14:46:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anybody reading it will be dead in 100 years.
2007-02-02 14:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO our lives really mean that much, and NOBODY is one word
other than that...yeah its kewl, not my "cup of tea" but its kewl
2007-02-02 14:47:37 · answer #10 · answered by brian_d_long2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋