I am taking my girlfriend to vegas in June. We will be going for a week. As i have stated in other questions, she does not want to be married for another 5 -6 years and doesn't want to be engaged for another 4. She has given me no reason behind this thought, just that this is what she wants. I have given her no reason to doubt my love. My eyes stay locked on her and never waiver. I have never cheated and make it known that she is my one and only love. I'm an all right looking dude, so could i cheat, maybe, but no propositions have really come up other like twice in 2 years that i have very easily turned down. Anyway, i want to ask her to marry me against her saying she doesnt want to be engaged for another 4 years. But i know she's the one, she's perfect for me and i want her to be my wife and i want to be her husband. Do i take the chance and ask her to marry me when we go away or should i just let it rest for another 4 years?
2007-02-02 06:36:15 · 17 answers · asked by Drew 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW i am paying for the whole trip as a gift to her for just being her.
2007-02-02 06:38:46 · update #1
Four years is a very long time. In my opinion, it looks like she's waiting to see if anything better comes along. If not, then, in four to five years, you'll do.
Do not spring the marriage thing on her in Vegas. It will ruin your vacation. However, you do need to make her answer why she wants to wait so long. Does she want to finish college first? Does she want to establish a career before getting married and having children? There could be valid reasons, but I can't imagine why she hasn't shared them with you.
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2007-02-02 06:38:52 · answer #1 · answered by Shaft 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Drew---time to grow a set dude. Sounds like she's all that...but you let her dictate all the rules. If you marry her under her conditions, over time you'll eventually become bitter towards her. This should be a joint decision/commitment from both of you. You're both not on the same ground.
Take the ring to Vegas...ask her why she needs 4 years, then let her know you don't plan on waiting that long, you need something in the foreseeable future. Show her the ring and ask her if it belongs to her...or someone else. Bad new is...you gotta be prepared to walk, so if you're not ready for a "no" answer, Where you are is where you'll stay. You say she's the one, but what I haven't heard from you is that she feels the same way and that's a terrible place to be.
Remember the old saying about men and women? Why buy the cow if the milk is free? Women now have their own saying..."Why buy the whole pig to get a little sausage?"
2007-02-02 17:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by Lando 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it......... because here is the thing. You are young and so in love. She is on a schedule of sorts and your heart is going to be broken at some point. Millions of people sit and talk about this when they are truly in love...... each giving reasons and planing a future together.
You have given her no reason to doubt you and you have stayed faithful. Its all about you giving but she is not giving it back right? A girl in love would be discussing this with you regardless of the schedule. The basis of even thinking about marriage is communication and trust.
Here's what you do. Its going to hurt and be tough. Tell her that you have an eye toward the future and want to know where you and her are going. You will have your answer then. What are you supposed to do? Wait for 4 years until she has accomplished whatever and then she leaves? Are you going to waste all of these years being a little puppy when you might meet somebody who does appreciate you and feels the same?
The only way to make this happen is to be a man. Women prefer strong men, not puppies. You can still be sensitive but you must find out what is up. Not tommorow but now.
Honestly find this stuff out now. Cancel the trip and/or take someone else who is appreciative instead of waiting for that magical moment for her to say yes. Sounds harsh but I can see exactly what road you are on.
2007-02-02 16:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can make it a promise ring, while she is not ready to get married right now she has her reasons and maybe you can talk to her and ask why?????????
If she has expressed no interest in marriage and you are as good as you say you are, do you think she is cheating?
I think the best way to go is a promise ring which will give her plenty of time and when she is ready to marry she will let you know.......4 years is a long time to put your life on hold.....
Maybe you need to look into this relationship a little harder to see if she feels the same way about you as you feel for her...
I hope things work out for you
2007-02-02 14:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by Pegi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd just tell I want to spend the rest of my life with her but you don't understand why she needs four more years. That's a pretty arbitrary number and a pretty lame way of saying "You're cool and all but I'm going to keep myoptions open and if I don't find someone better in the next four years I'll begin to consider settling with you".
Wake up and smell the reality. That you haven't already had this conversation implies you're wasting your time.
2007-02-02 14:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Makakio 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can ask, but be ready to get a "no" in response. She already told you how she feels. BTW, if your main proof of your love is the you "haven't cheated", it's hardly a proof at all. It's kinda like saying "I haven't hit her"... well, duh!
Sounds to me like she's simply not sure she wants to be with you in the long run. There isn't much you can do to change that - she will either grow up and realize that she wants to marry you, or she will move on to better and bigger things.
P.S. I agree with the very first answer.
2007-02-02 14:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey ask her what can she say.If she is an adult and says oh you know I don't want to be engaged for another 4 years just say ok and don't make an issue out of it.If she does accept it tell her you do not have to get married soon or anything.She may surprise you.Good Luck
2007-02-02 14:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by sparky75us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you should wait another 4 years and during those 4 years, find out if she is cheating on you. Thats what sounds like is going on to me.
2007-02-02 14:41:20 · answer #8 · answered by Nic-Nic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slippery slope . . . if you propose in vegas she may think you're doing the generic "lets get married in vegas thing" by asking . . . don't know dude, I'd probably just settle for a deeper conversation.
I'm kinda like your girlfriend and I've made it clear to my guy that I don't want the piece of paper b/c it doesn't mean anything . . . constant actions mean more.
2007-02-02 14:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to bring this subject up again..... just ask her opinion and say that you were hoping on setting up shop earlier than four years. DON"T PUSH. Watch her reaction. if she wants to wait ask her if shes really interested in you...... and explain your opinions/love, BUT like i said do not push! Then if you really like her and she truly needs those set number of four years.... give her that....... Sometimes it takes a lot of time to be sure that person is the one.
2007-02-02 14:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Artemis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋