2007-02-02 06:29:26 · 13 answers · asked by teeyodi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Physically disciplining your kids rarely teaches them anything except fear. Now some may argue that's good but in reality all it does is create that idea in th kid that in order to avoid the punishment don't get caught.
Kids learn better when they are explained why they should not do something and then given a punishment that makes them realize their mistake.
I don't have kids but I have used this technique with my little cousins and nephews, and they understand their mistake and consciencely try not to repeat it.
2007-02-02 06:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Michael K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Discipline can be physical and emotional. Correcting a child should never involve hitting. Hurtful words are just as crippling as they are not forgotten and can scar a child for life. Try getting eye level and explaining to the child why you don't like his/her behavior and ways to fix it. They do understand and respond well to choices. When correcting always tell them you love them. Would you want someone twice your size to treat you in any other way? Child rearing is very hard, if you think you'll lose your temper calm down first before proceeding. Your asking for advice shows the heart of a great parent!
2007-02-02 06:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by #1 saints fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many out there who believe physical discipline begins with the first whack. I personally dont and believe it is abuse not to teach your children consequences of their actions. Yes there are many "learning" techniques and such like time out, restraining, taking things away. I dont use physical unless it is something major and the child knows better. Each child is different in these areas as well. My 11 yr old fell down on the floor screaming because i would not make her a pbj sandwhich before supper. SHe got grounded and put to bed early. The day before that she hit her two year old brother for breaking her toy. She got spanked on the buns for that. I think it is all in the age. For now my two year old hates time outs. They work for him. When he bites i restrain him on my lap for two minutes and so on. Now to get back to your question, it becomes abuse in my mind if it is effecting the way your child functions and feels about themself and you. Very vague but here is what i mean. If you hit your child so hard that they have to wear jeans in the summer or sun glasses in the winter because of the marks ...that is abuse. If you do it for no reason and your child lives in fear...that is abuse. If your child cringes at your voice and is ashamed of how you make them feel...that is abuse. Fear is not respect. Painful reminders usually only instill bad results and not desired ones. IF you have to physically put your hands on your child more than once a day then you need help...for you and your child. Many children in our society are out of control. Raise your child up right from the very start and you will not have a problem later in life.
2007-02-02 06:39:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it is done out of anger or when it leaves a mark..If you pop a child on the behind with a hand there shouldn't be a mark left after a few moments.......But why spank? Kids become immune to this....Why not time out or take away a privilege for a while? My kids are 12 and 15 and have NEVER been spanked,they have both been grounded for a time or too but they have never been in trouble they both are honor students and play sports.What works for me may not work for everyone but if you have resort to hitting your child to get them to mind I think you should seek some outside help first.
2007-02-02 06:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by stegall_sherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people believe that any physical discipline is abuse. I think it is interesting that parents feel then need to use physical discipline; yet when the children are sent to daycare the daycare can discipline the child without violence.
Violence begets violence.
2007-02-02 06:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by JT 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like your question. This is one of the more sensible ones.
Abuse is when a parent just constantly smacks the child. For example the child is crying, the parent smacks him/her tells them to shut up. The kid keeps crying the parent smacks them again.
If you hit a kid so hard it leaves a mark that is without doubt abuse, there is no reason to hit a kid that hard.
Kicking, biting, pinching, punching,hair pulling, burning, and the belt are all forms of abuse
Wacking a kid on the butt to get a message across is not as LONG as you don't hit them so hard you mark them.
2007-02-02 06:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that people can learn to discipline a child without doing it physically if they knew how.....i dont think that disciplining physically is the best way to handle situations.....i spanked my oldest daughter and my rule was three spanks on the bottom but as i have gotten older i have realized that i should've used a different method because spanking didnt change any ongoing behavior problems....get the book...systematic training for effective parenting....that is an excellent system
2007-02-02 06:34:20 · answer #7 · answered by bertha 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only spanking, anything more is abuse. Well, maybe a smack in the mouth for any bad language.
2007-02-02 06:37:21 · answer #8 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when you hit them and lose control of yourself. Remember you are smarter and older and in more control of yourself. you have to teach children this as they are just learning. Teach them the right way, knowledge is power.
2007-02-02 06:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by velvet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BIRTH, You may never strike a child anywhere but on the bottom and only with a hand. If you leave any marks...BEWARE!! Just don't SPANK!!
2007-02-02 06:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by Equinox 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋