I am so upset I can't seem to make any friends at all. When I started college I had no friends. Guys were the only one that wanted to speak to me. This happens everytime in my life. But anyway my friend just started college and he already hanging out with a friend that he just met. This make me so upset because I have no female friends absolutely no one. I dont understand I am a friendly person. Then what gets me more upset he calls me and says he is alone and have no one with him, thats funny because thats how my freakin life is............about everyday. He is my only friend and it is sad.
2007-02-02 05:34:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
because guys are less defensive around people than females.
2007-02-02 05:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by Honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the answer to this one...so listen closely:
I have been in a similar situation and I know other women like you....here are some possible reasons and the solution.
There are at least two reason why women don't bond with you. Maybe more. First, you may have a bad relationship with your mother (is she distant, cold, mean...not available?). It means that maybe you don't trust women easily...and they feel that distance. 2nd, you could trust men more and they know it. Now it can be good for you...and it can be bad (as they can take advantage of you sexually or romantically because they know you are fair game). Sometimes women come off kind of strong to other women...mostly as a protective mechanism.
Point is...it is a learned trait. Something that you picked up from the way another woman has treated you. I am not sure of your reason...but I know that I had few female friends for YEARS. And then I noticed that I didn't like women at work.....and then I noticed, why do I only have guy friends. I thought I was an anomaly. Then I decided to change. (since one day you will have to anyway...as the guy friends will marry and forget about you).
1. intentionally meet lots of kinds of women, don't try to be close to them, just thoughtful, and honest. Don't push it...if they walk away, keep head high and keep looking. Friends are hard to make anyway...any sex.
2. Look for a woman like you...chances are you will feel that they really don't want to be friends. ...(Think about that)....why? They are protected...just like you. Or they are very independent....if you can befriend someone just like you then you are halfway there. Remember that someone like you may push someone away.
3. Try to remain objective. You can't make friends? I am sure you can...you just expect a certain outcome. Stick to coffee. If you can get someone to meet you for coffee and do homework, then they are friends. If they will listen even for a minute about your personal life, they are a friend.
4. Don't talk about guys to other women. You are perceived as great with guys....this means others will be jealous. Whether they are right or not. Talk about life.
5. Remember it takes time...I still have to work on getting female friends. I started out about 5 years ago and I have at least 4 good friends now. Not casual...really good. And it takes effort. Just don't give them things...be there...and then slowly learn that women aren't so bad. (nor are they perfect).
6. Last hint: don't sleep with your guy friends. Everyone thinks you do ...it is just how it is...so just don't put yourself in that situation. Very important.
I hope that I have helped. It was something that I worked on for years...and then one day it hit me..(after many of my guy friends got married)
By the way: I read your other recent questions...maybe you should. You have a pattern of relying on men too much. Go off on your own, ditch the leeching boyfriend, no escort service please, and wise up...you need to raise your self-esteem...you are better than this!!!!
2007-02-02 05:49:39 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls are evil.
You are going to have a hard time finding a girl pal unless you are involved in an activity with her or share an interest in something. Start looking for study partners it's a good way to break the ice and don't be afraid to have guy friends just watch out because the guy friends are always going to be schemeing on how to get in your pants!
Join a Sorority and be around a group of girls you'll hate some of them but you could also beocme fast friends with some.
Or just focus on school and do the socailite thing later.
2007-02-02 05:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think because guys generally get along more than women, because they only fight over few things like money, or war, or just to keep a bully a way. Guys don't cat fight. Girls on the other hand fight over almost everything. It comes from jealousy, envy, popularity, gossip, and to impress guys even because guys in general love to watch. Plus guy fights are more dangerous than girl fights. Because girls fight over so much, it's even hard to choose the right friends who won't instantly turn on you, because girls are good at that too. But don't take this as be on the look out, just show that you are a true person and friend, and the right people will attract to you.
Krazy Libra
2007-02-02 05:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with college friends. my problem was that there was only five girls in the college i went to and thousands of guys. few women went into engineering. well, i found a townee and through her i met a lot of neat people of all sexes.
sometimes you have to break the ice and getting into a click. try going to church groups or a choir, also volunteer some of your time to help those who really need it..you could be a big sister to some lonely girl and you could be a role model for her...well you are not alone..you can be lonely in a relationship with another person..you can be lonely in marriage... break out of the shell and try something new.
2007-02-02 05:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to where girls hang out, you have to get your face out there, get involved with some of the groups. You are cutting yourself short, because there are probably others that are thinking the same thing.
2007-02-02 05:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so pretty!!! You must intimidate women just by your wonderful looks and attract the guys. Start showing interest in women by complementing on their hair and try and look as ugly as possible and then they will like you and become your friend.
Good luck pretty!
2007-02-02 05:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All my mates are guys, haven't spoken to a girl proberly in yonks!
don't get on with females cos there too horrible lol
2007-02-02 05:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by jaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends on who you relate to more than most. I myself relate more to woman than blokes. I am not a pub drinker or have night out with the guys. I live alone and i get on well with woman. that does not mean I will change sex in who i am. its just
I am made that way
2007-02-02 05:41:38 · answer #9 · answered by Elvis 109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, take it as a compliment. a lot of girls especially at that age can be very jeoulous of other girls, and turns them to be mean or distant to that person.they are also bitches.try talking to a girl you would like to be friends with and see if they want to hang out.once they do they will see who you really are
2007-02-02 05:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, It's True Because Women are generally more hateful then men.
So if you mean real freind, then yes, but if you mean "friends that I want to keep closer than my Actual friends (AKA Enemies)
Then Women Have More.
2007-02-02 05:38:39 · answer #11 · answered by Spaghetti MY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋