Just wondering how long it took you to figure out what was going on, and how long you thought part of it was your behavior causing it?
2007-02-02 05:33:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder
2007-02-02 05:34:52 · update #1
"You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it."
It can be very frustrating to be in a relationship with a BPD. I was the BPD and not only was I miserable, but the loved ones in my life didn't have good boundaries (understanding where they ended & I began) and suffered in frustration in response to me.
Ten years after my diagnosis, I had an awakening. I was gonna get busy living. I take zero drugs (neither psych nor recreational), zero alcohol, am in recovery for codependency and relationship addiction, and active in Al-Anon. I stopped being a victim and victimizing myself. I have found a new life and tools to deal with it along with the support of others that understand what I am going through.
I can see how frustrating it was to try to have a relationship with me when I was active in my illness. I felt so isolated, self-loathing and disconnected with myself. While trying to contol and cling to others and punish myself, I pushed my loved ones away. I am grateful that I am in recovery.
2007-02-02 05:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It took me almost 6 months to figure it out. It took me another couple of months to realize it wasn't because of me. He still thinks it's because of me, of course. It's a really difficult relationship to be in when your partner has BPD. They can change instantly from one moment to the next. As a matter of fact Saturday night was just swinging back and forth every five mintues. Roller coaster ride for sure.
2007-02-02 05:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by dancing11freak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, but I can imagine how hard it would be. I recommend reading the book, I hate you, don't leave me. It offers some good insight on BPD behavior as well as some suggestions on how to deal with it.
Good Luck!
2007-02-02 05:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by schweetums 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I live in the skin of a person with BPD, I think. Not really I'm not sure what it is, but you got me curious.
2007-02-02 05:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ron P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel your pain - i was married to a bi-polar for 20 years. spent nearly the 1st ten years of my marriage blaming myself -i thought i wasn't pretty, i wasn't good in bed, i wasn't a good cook / wife/ mother, etc., etc. the man was just never happy & all his anger was taken out on me & the kids. there were good days, but we had to adjust according to his mood swings. years 11 - 17 of my marriage were spent in and out of counseling - the last 3 years of my marriage i was literally dead inside & finally got the courage to leave. now i am dating again & find it so hard to believe when men tell me, "i am hot". the years of crap from my husband damaged me emotionally. if you are in a situation like this, get out ASAP. my only regret was that i didn't do it sooner.
2007-02-02 05:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by livetall1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband was bipolar when he didn't take his medicine he would abuse me rage and he throwed a new cell phone i just bought him agaisn't the wall and broke it at first i thought i caused it till he told me he was bipolar one day he had mood swing's he good be nice then turn into a devil plus he was a alcoholic
2007-02-02 05:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋