I'm really angry with my husband. He wants to play cards with his family tomorrow night. I really don't care that he is going to his parents' house, it's just that he is always going there. Every Sunday, we have to go to his parents' house for dinner. We never spend any quality time with each other. I have discussed this with him numerous times. Nothing ever changes. What can I do to change this situation?
2007-02-02 05:18:04 · 27 answers · asked by angela127 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, I forgot to mention that I dislike his family. His mother plays favorites and we are treated like garbage because we don't have children.
2007-02-02 05:31:59 · update #1
I know what you are talking about. My hubby is the same, he always wants to spend every Sunday and Holiday with his family. At first I thought it was cute but then it was too much. You can't do anything because he will get mad. But you could bargain, like evrytime you go to his parents' house, make plans for something to do after that, visit some friends or anything and that way you have to leave early to do your thing.
It's really hard I know, I feel with you.
I gave up on changing my husband's habits a long time ago.
Oh and I know about the mother in law playing favorites plus I had to endure gossip from the sisters in law ...
Good Luck
2007-02-02 05:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you. Every Sunday? Good grief! If you have discussed it with him numerous times and it hasnt changed it probably won't. Try to keep your cool about it and not get angry. Tell him that as a couple you need to spend more one on one time with him. The two of you are a family. I hope youdont sit at home while he is with his family. Go out with your friends or do something you enjoy doing. Good luck!
2007-02-02 05:45:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how you talk to him about it. Do you always start with something like.. you always spend time with your family and never with me..kinda thing. Try talking to him again but do it differently. Tell him that you know that he loves his family and you understand that but you would like to spend time with him too.
Offer him suggestions on what you can do together and request that you spend at least once or twice a week doing something with just the two of you. Let him know that you love the fact that he adores his family but if he loves you then he can spend some time with you too.
By the way, what is so bad about you going there every Sunday. Do you dislike them that much that you stay away, isn't it kinda nice that you don't have to cook and then later on have fun playing cards with them. It's only one day a week, why not enjoy this time.
I go to my inlaws (for the past eighteen years) usually every Sunday (most times without my husband,since he works) . They always invite me and I feel comfortable being there (it took awhile). Playing games is tons of fun and is quite enjoyable, passes the time and bonds you with the entire family. I had never played any games before I married but now I can't get enough of it.
2007-02-02 05:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would consider spending time with his family quality time. why don't you go with him? maybe he's going because he knows if he doesn't all he will be doing is sitting on couch watching TV next to you, which maybe he doesn't consider a good time. family is important. if he loves spending time with his family, which it seems he does, you'll have to accept it. his family was there before you were, and will be there after you (if you two break up). i think it's nice that you guys go to his parents for sunday dinner. my husband and i, due to military transfer, live thousands of miles away from our families and see them once a year. be glad for your closeness! you are just being selfish. but to change the situation, don't tell him he can't see his family, he'll resent you for it. instead, how about before sunday dinner, you two go to an afternoon movie, or to a park, or window shop, or to a light lunch. you have to make time for each other.
2007-02-02 05:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you go every sunday and never spend quality time what happened to the other six days of the week. #1 he loves his family how would you feel if he didn't want you to see your family #2 you should be close enough to his family to enjoy being around them anyway he is your husband #3 at least he's not cheating on you #4 he takes you to his parent's house so you are still with him it is still quality time because it's family time #5 plan a nice evening after you leave his parent's house and #6 take trips to your family's house sometimes that way if it's still bothering you even after i gave you all these reasons not to be mad he can be miserable too
2007-02-02 05:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by IisIam 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was married to a mom's boy. It never changed till the day she died . He drove a truck and was gone a week at time and I was left home with 3 kids. He would stop ;by his mom's first before coming home . He would pay her bills or get her what she wanted before paying ours. When my daughter went to college , he had put carpet in his mom's house and forgot to tell me and when I went to write the check for the college tutition , we did not have enough money in the bank. This happend many times. He always made sure she had great Christmas and birthday presents and I got a Kmart pair of pants. If we went on vacation she had to go with us and we footed the bill. Tell, him how you feel and just say , who did you marry me or your mother. If he will not commit to making you the most important thing in his life . Don't waste your time like I did , move on now. Mom's boys do not change. She used him all her life and me too.
It is not fun playing second fiddle to mom. Get someone who cares for you.
2007-02-02 05:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time for you to take charge of this. Inform him that you will be making dinner for him and you on Sundays and then do it. During the day tell him tonight you and him will play cards and make fun bets with him. Turn off the phone in case his parents try to call, let it be known that you don't like interruptions.
2007-02-02 05:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no longer "precisely" at poverty point? that doesn't sound too stable. possibly he's plenty extra under pressure approximately money than you think of. i'm no longer asserting he's no longer being a jerk by using fact what he pronounced replaced into somewhat impolite yet do you be attentive to of what you have in fee savings, what his basic verify is, and what the expenses comprehensive as much as? i think of you may desire to be doing something achieveable to make some money on the area if that is that undesirable. i replaced into out of artwork as quickly as for a together as once you have laid off & I HATED it, i could no longer stand no longer having money, i could no longer stand having to justify each little thing to my husband, and actual i don't be attentive to the way you have been dealing with it this long. it may kill me to no longer cope with my own funds.
2016-12-16 19:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off stop referring to them as "his family" they are your family too. The next time he goes over their house offer to go with him, it's only natural for him to want to be there. You tell him that you want to spend time with him, sometimes, alone time. Plan a whole day of just you two time maybe get away during the week. Good luck hon!
2007-02-02 05:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by April 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You would have a right to be angry if its excessive. Excessive means different things to different people.. to some every Sunday wouldnt be excessive to others it would, sounds like to you it is. Maybe you just quite going with him to the parents house every Sunday & do something yourself (take his credit card and go clothes shopping?) maybe he'll get the hint?
2007-02-02 05:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋