My husband and I have been separated for about 10 weeks because we fight a lot. At first, he wanted a divorce, and was sure he was through with our marriage. Then around Christmas/New Year's he started coming around once I acted like I was moving on. Then when he got me hooked again, he started being a jerk again, saying he doesn't want a divorce, he just wants time. He said he wants to be with me, just not right now. In the mean time, he doesn't call or come see our 8mo old daughter, hasn't given me a dime in child support. I'm almost positive he doesn't have a girl on the side. Can ya'll tell me what he means when he says he wants to be with me, just not now?
2007-02-02 04:47:06 · 31 answers · asked by newmom06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does call sometimes, when I don't call him for a few days. He also ALWAYS promptly returns my calls. I dunno if that helps.
2007-02-02 04:50:11 · update #1
Don't call him or email him or anything! Let him come back to you, that's what I did...He told me that this is best and we are definitely getting a divorce and there's no way we're getting back together and blah blah blah. I didn't contact him for a while and we're back together. May not work for you, but that's what I suggest. 10 weeks is a looong time, I hope you're hanging in there. My email address is on my page if you need an extra ear. Take care.
2007-02-02 05:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but he probably has a girl or is having an affair.I'm sorry if the idea hurts. You need to press for child support because that's not something you should allow to slip by. It set's a bad precedence.
You need to get him to come to couples therapy because somethings going on that needs to be resolved. He's playing both sides of the fence and if you let him get away with it he'll keep on bouncing around like he's doing now. I think you should change the locks on your house if you haven't done so yet, and consult an attorney. If you want him back then it should be on terms you can both live with. I hope you have family close by that can give you the support you need. I'm sure it's very hard what you're going through.
2007-02-02 05:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kinda hard to tell. We all go thru good times and bad when dealing with relationships. I think right now your main focus needs to be for you and your child. If he doesn't come around then maybe you need to take the necessary steps to file for divorce and get some court appointed child support started.
There is no reason for you to sit around wondering and waiting on someone that doesn't have the decency to let you know what's really going on.
Life is too short
2007-02-02 04:52:28 · answer #3 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he has another woman, but not sure yet where the new relationship is going so he keeps u there dangling that carrot in front of your nose, giving u just enough of him to keep your hopes up. he isn't done playing, and may leave u anyway depending on how it progresses with the other woman. u need to file for support from him, at least get child support from him, he knows if he gets a divorce he will have to pay support, he is playing u. doesn't want u but at the same time doesn't want u moving on with someone new, wants u to be available if and when he decides to come home. we teach people how to treat us, by what we allow them to get by with. personally i would start divorce proceedings on him, he is just using u until he decides who he really wants to be with, spending the money he should be giving his child on the home wrecker.
2007-02-02 06:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him and tell him it is now or never. You want a father for your daughter, but if he can't be a father and a husband you don't believe that you need him. If he hesitates, tell him to hit the road Jack and don't come back. Tell him that it is growing up time that you two have a daughter together. Someone needs to shame him because he is shameful. At this moment in his life he is not fit for anyone, much less you. Pity the poor girl that gets him.
2007-02-02 04:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that means he doesn't want you for as long as he has his new piece of ***. don't be dumb lady...MOVE ON!! slap a child support case on him. he's spending that formula & pamper money on his new girl! straight up he wants to keep you on the side & your playing along. the cycle of him wanting you then he doesn't want you is going to repeat itself like ocean waves repeling back into the ocean over & over again!!! why don't you take some intitiative with your own family, you & your daughter! he's the father & he isn't even around...better hope he doesn't get another woman pregnant so he can leave another baby with out a father!!! it's your life you can subject yourself to being treated second best; thats on you! seriously though that disgust me that you know he has another on the side & your still wondering what to do!!! HELLLOOOO he's playing you!!! he gots another chic who he's spending time with not you & your daughter! that money is going to his new piece of ***, cause she's not gunna let him hit for free even if thats all it is! he had a chance to become a man & stand by the child that is apart of him & he didn't . it bothers me that some guys not men can do that! what if somthing happend & he wasn't around to protect his daughter; thats his fault!!! And he' doesn't care cause he's having a good time getting off with some other broad who has no clue about you or your daughter & if she does, what kind of a woman is she to be with a dead beat dad like that!!!
2007-02-02 04:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want him back? That's the question you should be asking yourself. Is this a safe man, is he a good dad, is he a good husband? You need to decide for yourself what will be best for you and your daughter. He left and it sounds like he wants the control. He doesn't want to be there, but he doesn't want you moving on either. Don't let have the control, you decide what you want and stay firm in your resolve. Think of your daughter and yourself first. If you decide that waiting for him and/or taking him back is the best thing I wish you the best of luck, if moving on is what you decide, then stay strong and contact local support groups if you need them.
2007-02-02 04:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lovely Lady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is just just checking on you if you could handle yourself and your baby all by yourself.I think ha that he is still searching for his self he still can't believe that he already have a family of his own,a wife that will wait for him,a baby crying,a family that he will give support. You both are on adjustment period so let him go for a while and let him realize that he is no longer single. If he is ready to be a father and a husband then you talk to him and finalize the situation that you are encountered. God Bless.
2007-02-02 05:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by Paxxiegrett 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame there is an Innocent child involved. You 2 were clearly far too young to get married let alone children. I don't pity either of you but I do pity the child.
Good luck to all of you after the divorce.
2007-02-02 04:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sure he needs time to see if the other women is willing. Kick him to the curb and file for child support. Why do you want a guy the doesn't even care enough to support his own flesh and blood. Find someone else that isn't a jerk. good luck
2007-02-02 04:54:53 · answer #10 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋