My niece is out of control. She has been ditching for three weeks.Her mom had to spend a whloe day talking to officals to get her another chance. She has been caught haveing sex at school. She was arrested with an 18 year old. Did I mention she isonly 14.
2007-02-02 03:43:39 · 24 answers · asked by doraann 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i think that what u really need to do is sit down and talk with her with a counseler.
2007-02-02 03:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by just me 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are a whole legion of single mothers out there who defensively will say that being a single mother has nothing to do with this situation - but... Is this a single parent household? Let's just say a single mother in over her head with an adolescent offspring has to be one of the scariest experiences on earth! Where the hell is this child's father?
Bootcamp is not the answer to every extreme behavior problem a kid can have - but it's the first thing that comes to mind when kids act out big time.
If the daughter was arrested with an 18 year old, what happened to the 18 year old? Nothing? And she is only 14 and was caught having sex? What happened to the guy who was having sex with her?
Someone's drowning in a sea of trouble here but you're looking to give the daughter a boat. It's the mother who needs a boat. She's the one who needs a team of concerned adults not to take care of her daughter but to put her, the mom, on track.
Our of control is nothing new. But I'll bet your niece doesn't see much to lose here - so she's willing to take risks. If it's attention she wants, here it is.
I wish there was a how-to manual for how to manage a raging teen. I'll bet this 14 year old girl's friends are a good indicator to where she's going. Her mother can't control who her daughter's friends are. With a father around, there are no guarantees, just another pair of eyes to be vigilant and another brain to come up with ideas.
2007-02-02 12:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, sure, if it will make everyone else happy to know that this self-destructive young lady is being even further brutalized by the world around her. It would help if mom just didn't keep making excuses for her. If she's only 14, why was she arrested and not the 18 year old? She needs more help than one can get from random people on a website.
2007-02-02 14:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be other issues as to why she is behaving that way. When she was younger, who was her primary disciplinarian? Who taught her about sex, and about being a woman? Bootcamp would be an option, but seek out a psychiatrist first. She may be seeking love in the wrong places.
If all else fails, that might be the best option. People can change, and there is a chance that she may become a better person after she receives the proper guidance.
I'll pray for her ;-)
2007-02-02 12:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by Just a Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what it sounds like she should go. The reason I say she should is for her safety. At 14 I don't think a parents can get control of a teenager at that age. She will do what she wants.
I know people will blame the parents how their children turn out but sometimes kids do what they want and the parent do all that they can. Sometimes parents need a little help.
Good luck! Hope for the best.
2007-02-02 11:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by sassa26 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would make her go yes. Let someone beat some sense into her. If you can call the prison in your area, and let her meet some of the women that went through the same stuff when they were growing up and now they are suffering from their mistakes in prision. Sounds like she needs a little bit more guidance from the people around her as well. She may hate it now, but the older she gets she'll learn how to thank you.
2007-02-02 11:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Stay out of it. So what she's your neice, she's not your DAUGHTER. Unless your sister has come to you and asked you for help, then stay out of it. You wouldn't want your siblings in on the mess you and your children were in.
And as for going to "boot camp" no, i think she needs to be delt with by her parents first, boot camp is going to do nothing to her but make her resent her family and authority figures. (unless she plans on going into the REAL military once she gets to be 18, but then again, that is HER choice, not her AUNT's)
Also, after reading everyone else asnwers (which I shoudl have done first!) WHY CAN'T YOU PARENTS DEAL WITH YOUR OWN KIDS?????????Why do you have to send your kids off to some "fake parents" to get them straight? Aren't YOU the one's who let the behaviors get out of control? Aren't you the ones who are to *scared* to spank your child when they acted up at 3? Or are you to afraid that hittin poor little Annie when she's throwing a temper tantrum at the store, that someone will call the cops and you will be a bad parent? If thats the case, don't have kids. Please...Or if you do, GROW SOME BALLS. If your child acts up, its your JOB to discipline them, not pay some meat head as*hole to yell at scream at them. You can do that for free!!!
Stop trying to cart your problems off on someone else, YOU had sex, you got pregnant and you had the kid...now deal with them!!
2007-02-02 12:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by Pandora 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.. let's see.. the problem here is that someone is enabling her to continue her behavior. That someone is her parent(s). Her mom should not be at the school asking them for another chance... she should have her daughter accept the punishment. Mom should then be restricting EVERY thing she does, no friends over, no phone calls, no internet. Mom needs to crack down on this girl before she is totally lost.
2007-02-02 11:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by wrkey 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
well that also sounds like a good idea but has she been counselled ever? if if she hasnt ,she needs to or perhaps try some way from her friends.They could also influence her for the better.At the age of 14 she could easily change if only she could not be exposed to such misguiding inhabitat
2007-02-02 12:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by risola 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes it sounds like she is ready for bootcamp. if she dont get help now while she's 14. in a min the mom wont be able to do anything with her. she'll end up pregnant, using drugs, selling her body and no one wants to see a young girl life like that. if she was my child i would send her with doubt. it might seem mean to her but it's only showing her love
good luck
2007-02-02 11:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by smooth sailing34 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dame! I feel really sorry for Sister, that must Suck to have a Daughter that way. I mean her is her Father maybe he can help or maybe so Boot Camp might Help her literally scream for HELP! Good Luck :)
2007-02-02 11:50:50 · answer #11 · answered by Veee Smitten 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋