and i got up the nerve to ask him why he doesn't want me any more and i know it's not because i don't take good care of myself....i try to make myself as nice looking as possible, and keep myself clean and sweetsmelling, but his answer to me was, when i confronted him was that he is no longer attracted to me.
yep, that's right. "he is not longer attracted to me".......i just do not get it.......or understand it. i mean when we were 1st together we used to make love at least 5 times a day......and now, nothing....
and i know there isn't anyone else because i hired a P.I. and the private investigator came up with nothing. and now.....i just feel worthless and ugly and unattractive. can someone please help me to feel better??? i need someone to tell me why?
2007-02-02 03:11:14 · 14 answers · asked by sweetness #1 5 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I'm sorry to hear this, it has to be rough.... There could be a lot of reasons why he isn't sleeping with you and both of us could guess all day as to why ( he could be depressed about something else, he might think you are cheating and on and on ) but the truth being is only he knows why. Try ( and this could be hard to do ) to remember that this is probably nothing to do with you. You cant let this make you feel bad about you. If you love him ( and it sounds like you do ) try to work through it. Talk to him and see if there is something else going on in his life. Are there other changes that you have noticed or that have been going on ? More bills, money problems or job problems.... I know when I have problems with depression I don't feel sexy about myself let alone anyone else. Maybe try to spice things up a lil, cook him a nice meal and serve it naked or something off the wall that he wont see coming. As far as this goes though I think the sex might be the least of your problems, people ( ALL PEOPLE ) deserve to feel wanted and pretty. Try and go to someone with him and talk about this. Maybe he is having some problems that he is embarrassed to talk about with his own sexuality. Take care of yourself and good luck with this and your relationship.
2007-02-02 03:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by darin s 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD: You're NOT worthless or ugly or unattractive, OK? It's hard to say exactly why your husband isn't attracted to you anymore, but the problem is him, NOT YOU. He has obviously drifted away from you. Could be that the pressures of work and daily life have given him "seed among thorns" syndrome (where everything else gets in the way) or he could be going through a mid-life crisis. Either way, he needs to reconnect with you -- and it may also be a situation where you need to reconnect with him. Not that you did anything wrong, but the two of you obviously don't have the togetherness you had many years ago, and you need to get it back or you'll both be miserable. Sit him down and talk to him about it, and you may want to consider marriage counseling. In the meantime, keep your chin up and remember you're NOT ugly, worthless, or unattractive.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 03:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by sarge927 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You typically need seven to eight hours a night but performance isn't based alley on sleep your body is like a car it's gas is the food you put into it. If you put diesel into a regular fuel tank it's not going to run or won't run well. It's the same with junk food and our body's. if you don't like fruits and veggies take a multivitamin. Sleeping is important though and again 7-8 hrs is plenty to be running at a pretty good performance without the great rafting habits.
2016-05-24 05:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him why he is no longer attracted to you? Is there a reason he feels this way? Could be that his libido has just gone for a crapper, and he needs to get some meds to start it back up again. Perhaps the sex you were having earlier on has finally worn him out and he has nothing left to give. He could also be going through a mid-life crisis (I understand that loss of sexual desire is one of the symptoms of mid-life woes). Maybe the PI you hired was a putz and just missed the signs of your man having an affair? From the little that you have said here, I personally think that if I were your husband I would still find you desirable, very valuable, and more than just beautiful. Hope my wife tries to do the things for me that you say you try for your man in 15 years. Hope that you get resolution to this soon!! Good luck!
2007-02-02 03:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by dragondave187 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I bet you do feel sad. You have done nothing to make him feel that way. Maybe try to surprise him by doing or dressing in a way he does not expect. (wear a red teddy for valentines day and greet him at the door, or different hair style). Also go to couples therapy. If he won't go, then you go. After a while he will be inquisitive and wonder what the therapy is all about and want to attend to, I hope.
I would not let 21 years go up in smoke without a fight.
2007-02-02 06:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by Terry Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK. this is going to be difficult for you to read at this moment. but, down the road you will look back at this answer and laugh. right now, you will probably feel sorry for yourself and moan.
get up off your a** and pick yourself up girl and never ever let someone else dictate the way you feel about yourself. you are only making it worse by feeling sorry for yourself. go about your day as usual. except, now, set yourself some goals. get to know you a little better. you are missing the old you. get her back. if you want your husband to "want" you again. some women get married and become a wife and a mother and leave out "you". you are still there, bring her back. exercise, eat right, and do something outrageous and fun. let us know what you've done. ok and good luck.
2007-02-02 03:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by REALLY 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
21 yesrs is a long time together. Even if you still look rather attractive-he has known that attractivness for years. Try to change something, the hair may be, new clothes. Try to be the same and completely different at the same time. MAke him interested again...
Hope it helps
Good luck
2007-02-02 03:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by angel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is the one with the problem, not you. It is very probable that he had developed Erectile Dysfunction and is too embarrassed to tell you or see his doctor for help. Depending on his age and overall health status, this could be something very treatable.
Or, the private investigator might have been incorrect.
2007-02-02 03:55:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, instead of thinking that the problem lies with you, consider, for a moment, that the problem may in fact lie with him. You know you look attractive, so why think less of yourself? It is very important to maintain a positive image of yourself. What matters in life is what YOU think about yourself, not what others think. Now I understand your situation, and I can see why you're so concerned about it. But do me a favor: believe in yourself, and constantly strive to improve, learn more, read more, do more, and you'll find peace in that.
2007-02-02 03:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just felt I should answer u..............to get ur husband back on track ..............yes u need to change urself now a bit............visit beauty parlour ......then most improtant talk to him more in general to know if he is more stressed in life, is he having problems at his work in office etc, he may be worried about ur childrens' future etc..............so talk to him............and as far as
ur bed life is concerned Be more participative and pasionate.........tell him that u like it when he do it to u...........best of luck
2007-02-02 05:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋