plz help custody in pa?

Question

i am a mother of 4 boys ages now are 18 he has graduated and moved out on his own...then i have a 16 yr old son soon to be 17 then i have a 14 yr old son soon to be 15 then a 13 yr old son soon to be 14. my ex left us back in nov 1996 i had the children in my custody ever since....when he left i told him i was keeping custody of the boys so he told me fine and then i said about going for child support he told me if i did that then he would give up all his rights to the boys i didnt know the law so i thought he could then so i said fine cause i didnt want to be the blame for him not being in his kids life so i asked him what he could afford he said 50 aweek so he paid that when he did for 10 1/2 yrs till may 2006 i sued him for child support then he turned around and sued me for full custody ....none of our sons wants to live with him . he left his 2nd wife back in 2004 she was 5 months pregnant and they also have a 2 yr old son at that time .he went to a bar and never went home ...he left her for his new gf. well they live in a 3 bedroom well the gf has a son and a daughter the son is 10 the little girl is 6 they sleep in the same room the other women is a stranger she is handicapped living in the 3rd bedroom he has no rooms for my sons they sleep on the floor and couches . i have to go by the custody agreement made from 1997 when he left ,the kids were toddlers they do not want this set up no more . i have legal services tellin me i can not change this arrangement cause he is sueing me for full custody. well we went to a modified hearing we were both ordered to pay 1050 i paid he didnt he asked the judge to give him 6 months to come up with it which will take us to april 2007 ..since then he had moved from his 2 bedroom in new phila .to a three bedroom four blocks from where we live the boys asked me to do something about the visitation they only want to see him now on a saturday from like 9 to 6pm . i am being told by alot of ppl the kids will get to talk to the judge for my ex is telling the boys he has already won and they will be living with him and they have no choice? what do you think ? is it true?

Answer 1

Sweetheart you have nothing to worry about. Your ex-husband would have to prove without a shadow of a doubt that you are unfit to raise your sons!!! You will have to be interviewed by the Department of Children and Family Services and so on for him to even have a case and if your kids don't wanna be with him either then that is a definite major for you. I along with my husband am in a current custody battle with his ex-wife for his son....his son has been burned, bitten by an animal, his arm was dislocated at the age of 6 months, and so so so much more beyond your belief and they are giving us a hard time taking him and she has prior DCF cases from her first marriage and her other children. He does not have a chance, your kids and you both know that you have done a superb job by them and god sees what he is doing. It is his lost not yours you have had 18 years of the best life with your kids thru good or bad and they respect you for that. Take a bow girl!! and wipe the dust off your feet..you are a winner already and don't even know it. Let him make a fool of himself, and when you go to court hold your head up high and don't back down or let his threats intimidate you. You have my support, keep that in your spirit. I am wit you girl!!

Stay strong and have FAITH!! God will see you thru

Answer 2

I have had enough experience with lawyers to know that 1) they are necessary and 2) they can be scary with their incompetence. Although someone here has said you have nothing to worry about, your response from legal services has not given you confidence. I think you need to consult with a respected and successful lawyer in your community.
In order to get enough knowledgeable information from him or her, you should set aside a few thousand dollars and be completely upfront with that person about your financial situation. Be clear that what you are asking for is a completely realistic second opinion, just as you might get one from a doctor.
Make sure you tell him how much money you are able to pay just to get good legal advice about where you are right now. Lawyers want to know that they will be paid. Be completely honest about finances and the importance of your situation for your kids and yourself. Ask friends, your doctor, your pastor, anybody for recommendations when you look for a lawyer - and make sure you specify that this is not a real estate matter, it is a custody matter.
Under the law, there is a lot of evidence of bad character that just gets swept aside when judges are making decisions. You can be the saintliest person up against the biggest deadbeat and the judge will not be looking at him that way necessarily. But if you are a reasonably good mother, you will find that is your best asset in a case involving children.
It is very easy to get bad legal advice. It is also very easy to throw money down a hole with a bad, mediocre or dishonest lawyer. So search carefully and don't make any financial promises you can't keep!
Good luck! I know what it's like.

Answer 3

Child Custody--What Is the Balanced View? :
~ What Is in the Child's Best Interests?
~ Child Custody--A Balanced View
http://watchtower.org/library/g/1997/12/8/article_01.htm

The Problems of Children ... :
- An Ongoing Search for Solutions
- Children Deserve to be Wanted and Loved
- The Solution at Last!
- Help for Young People
- The UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2000/12/8/article_01.htm

Advanced Search
http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm
(can be used to find future-modified URLs)

Answer 4

First of all if his new grlf has any type of welfare and/or low rent housing it not right for a child over 5 to be sharing a rm w/a grl and u can use that against him. Let the judge know how he constantly leaves the children and women in his life and how he doesn't pay for the welfare of the children and or families he create.Besides I think the children are old enough to speak and the lawyers will also let them speak and they will get to hear the children's feelings and thoughts on there father.......don't worry honey have faith and u have God on your side this legal bondage will subside and pray about it the man upstairs wants u to be humble so pray on your knees.U are blessed to have these children in your life so do your best 2 hold them tight. U WILL WIN!!!!

Answer 5

Poor kids, I feel sorry for your sons and yourself, you in fact have nothing to worry about, he is a loser and will not get custody of your kids, it is actually nearly impossible that a man does and thats sad like in my case where my son spends 90% of the time with me but I pay child support...good luck to you!

Answer 6

since the kids are over 12 the judge will talk to them and ask them how they feel, good luck