PLEASE REPLY UPON UNDERSTANDING THE CURRENT CONFUSION AND PAIN I M GOING THRU!!
We were having our affair for past 1&half years.She doesnt have much financial capacity so I helpd her with her highr studies with my earnings(as her father also left her whn she was a child).Our parents also have agreed for this affair&have set dates for our weding in May.
Earlier she had a huge crush on a guy(who is a friend of mine)&that guy rejected her.So coz of her situation,I accepted her&started this affair. Shes very stubborn(& i m also bit strong headed).So due her nature we had arguments frequently, mainly due to her fault& i have 4given her always.
Nw she hs a job.This time also we hd an argumnt due2her fault&i said "IS THIS THE TREATMENT I GET4ACCEPTING U,WHEN OTHER GUYS REJECTED U".after this we didnt talk4 3days(we used2talk daily).&whn i talked to her after 3days she says,she want to stop da affair&cant 4give me.After a lil thot i said OK.Did she mean what she said?is she an opportunist
2007-02-02 02:51:40 · 16 answers · asked by banju 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know what you are going through. Been there done that and still doing it today! My wife tells me she hates me evry other day. Boy does that suck! I never say that to her. I have been with this woman for 8 1/2 years and only married for 5 1/2 months. Do yourself a HUGE favor and get out of the relationship! Do not be like me and have your daily life have many ups and downs. It is HELL, believe me! Nothing sucks worse than being with someone who doesn't really know that they want to be with you. I helped her through college and supported her and her son for almost 4 years before she finally got a job... OUT OF THE WRONG FIELD she went to college for..... dag!!!! Dude, if all you did was accept her for who she was and she just "settled" for you then it is time to BAIL!
2007-02-02 03:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by jmsuperman9 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It often takes the "school of hard knocks" to kick some of the stubborness out of people. If it's in both your natures to argue alot, why set yourself up for a life of it? You have been incredibly generous and kind to help her get on her feet as an adult. Consider it "mission accomplished". Are you still friends with the guy who rejected her? Has he told you why he rejected her? Sometimes it helps to share the misery.
You are not a psychologist. She has a deep-seated self-esteem problem about male rejection. You hit her button. Maybe you were playing philanthropist not lover. Her problems go back to daddy and you can't solve them. If she's an opportunist, it's something that, at her age, she doesn't understand or know, but it's her survival mechanism. Do what you do best: forgive her. Let her go. For your own healing, seek a therapist for a few counseling sessions, or read up on childhood rejection.
2007-02-02 03:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by Casperia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are having a difficult time with your fiance and that the circumstances aren't as you would want them to be, As I have read, it seems she is dealing with the fact that she does not have parent to talk to and has to do many things on her own, she could be frustrated about other things but it does not sound like she is cheating on you especially in the mind frame that she is in right now. If you want to marry her in May as it has been arranged then do it because you love her and for no other aspects. Obviously when people are angry and confused they say things they would not normally say so yes she probably did not mean what she said. Giver her some time to cool off and then talk to her then you will have a better chance of getting answers to your questions and she may be more clearer in her response to you. Just be supportive of her and this weird time and let her know you are there for her reguardless of what is happening and that you will always be there for her whether you relationship with her is convenience or not.
2007-02-02 03:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, you have a lot to learn about how to treat your girl. First of all, you should never have said that you accepted her after she had been rejected. That was very mean spirited and sounds like you did her a big favor to take her in. No one wants to feel like that. Second, you argue a lot and say that it;s all her fault. If you argue all the time, it takes 2 to argue and you should accept some responsibility for it. I don't think you 2 should get married until you get some things worked out. If you want her to be your wife, you should accept her unconditionally and treat her with honor and respect. You play a big part in how the 2 of you communicate and personally I think you could use some counseling. Before you decide what to do about the relationship ask yourself if you truly love her for the person she is or are you trying to make her the person you want her to be?
2007-02-02 03:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Without the intention of being offensive, you seem very immature and far from being ready for a marriage. I strongly advise you against getting married until both of you know you are ready. As of now you are obviously not. Many problems between couples only appear after a year or two of living together. That's when the passion you had for each other often goes away and notice the flaws of the other. Then you have to decide if you can put up with them or not.
Both of you should think about what you have now and where it is going, if it is going anywhere. Can you imagine yourselves ten years from now? With kids? And finally, if you love your woman then you 'd better watch your mouth when you are talking to her.
2007-02-02 03:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by harakiri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she could possible be an opportunist, you should not have said what you did to her either......"i took you when no one else would" both of you have fault in this sounds like. You truly should let this affair end, cancel the wedding! Find someone that is on the same financial level as yourself and or never degrade someone for their hardships..... but if all you stated here is true she might have been just using you.
2007-02-02 03:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jakes Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you bruised her ego badly. honestly i dont know what to tell you. my parent were the same way and that ended in a divorce. i dont think she's the kind of girl who changes the way she is. nor are you the kind of guy to do that either. your personalities are very intense. perhaps its time to take break. if you decide to get back together then you'll have to agree to both make some sacrifices. which will be next to impossible because you are who you are. you cant change that unless you really want to. and it wont work if only one of you decides to change. it has to be both. so thats what i think: that you should take a break and breathe some fresh air.
2007-02-02 03:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems such as you destroyed the have faith that she could have had with you. i don't be conscious of if she would be keen to forgive. It sounds as though she is attracted to her fiance if she is worried greater approximately how he feels instead of the form you're feeling. i might circulate on if I have been you. If she loves you and actually ought to be with then you definately she will come around... if not, you're at an advantage. next time don't get in contact with a woman who's in a relationship. Sorry to your discomfort... i be conscious of a broken heart is undesirable.
2016-10-16 11:05:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, this is a sticky situation. I think that she didnt mean it. everyone says things when they are feeling mad or hurt. she was probly just trying to upset you for upsetting her. even though, I am on your side. she should definatley be treating you with respect and should be appreciative for all that you have done for her. Personally, I think that you might consider calling it off, because dear, she does not treat you like you deserve to be treated!
2007-02-02 02:56:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is still very upset and just needed to get her anger out but hopefully things will come around. if not, it's ok there are plenty of ladies out there and im sure you dont wanna be stuck with the wrong person who doesn't respect you or doesn't like you so just hang in there.
2007-02-02 02:59:57 · answer #10 · answered by tls_2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋