My husband and I have been seperated for about two months. I left, by his decision about a month ago. We were having problems but nothing big, I thought. We were always together and we never faught. We did have our disagreements but we got along. The phone calls started coming from a woman he worked with at a new career, they were just friends he would say but then the calls were later in the night, early in the morning. I have known this woman all of my life, she was a friend. Now, since we are seperated, she moved into the same apartments after I moved there. He spends the night there all of the time. He says they are just friends but I know that's a lie. I have asked him to give me a chance, I never had a chance to fix things but he always says no. Is there anything I can do to get him back?
2007-02-02 02:48:35 · 20 answers · asked by Laura S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been in that situation before. He caught you off guard, and now you are running on emotion, b/c of what's happening. The harder you try the more power you are going to give him. You will give so much, to where you won't have any for yourself if it fails. Listen to what your body is telling you. You are hurting. When we are sick, we know we have to take care of ourselves. The best thing you can give to someone is time, and that time is not being given to you. You feel as though if you don't try, you will feel you have failed. But in reality, you will give him power to decide. The safest thing to do is get space. You can't love someone when you can barely love yourself. He needs to realize certain things on his own.
He does not deserve your love right now. Your efforts to love should be with yourself. I'm going through the same thing and I am fighting to stick to my core values, my ideal of what's right, and what I would want. No compromise or else you will have settled. Relationships are about 2 people. I could be wrong, but at least I know right now she is not true. I want 100%
2007-02-02 04:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you but I think he has moved on and I suggest you do the same. It's not your fault this sort of stuff happens, I don't know how long the two of you were together but it seems he grew out of your relationship. It happens and it sucks for the person who is left wondering what they did wrong. Apparently he does not take relationships seriously enough to forsake all others so he definitely is not someone you should even want back especially since he continues to lie to you and insult your intelligence.
This girl did you favor, soon he'll do it to her too and by that time you will have found a man that will give you and only you his heart. Best wishes!!
2007-02-02 02:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by tonafun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off Im sorry. That sucks, I have been thru it myself. I think its hard because you don't know if anything happened so your second guessing leaving because you don't know if anything happened, or if it was "just" texting, and your wondering if that is worth breaking up your marriage. I have been going thru this for years (numerous phone calls, chats, and texts to other women). I stayed because it walked a fine line. I have no proof anything happened. I kick myself in the ***, because i have turned into someone that Im not. I have lost complete trust in my husband which has made me search everything all the time because i want to catch him. Its not a way to live. You have lost the trust, and it will drive you crazy, because you will always be "checking on her". I think leaving her alone is a good idea. If she comes back to you she will know you mean it when you say if you see anything again you will leave, and she should be willing to give you any information you need to build your trust in her up again. Good luck. I wish i would have left years ago, instead of making threats.
2016-05-24 05:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do that to yourself! Have some self respect and know that you deserve better than this. He made his decision and I know that it hurts....I have been there. Believe me, once you have some time to get through the pain and get your life back on track , you will realize that you deserve to be treated better and won't accept anything less. Don't go after him, it will only hurt you and put him in the position of power. Let him go and start a new life for yourself. He's not worth the fight.
2007-02-02 03:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea you can file for divorce and get everything you can get from him. He is a sorry excuse of a man because when your having a fling why lie about it. Acts like if nobody knows about it. But after you get divorce just find someone you like and parade in front of him with him and see how it makes him feel. So just stay cool and take him to the cleaners with no regrets. Knowing him once he finds out he woill be back and make excuses for you not to file or he will try to get back together with you again. But remember what he has done to you and when you asked nicely towork things out what was his answer. So get to it, and it will hurt him mor and it's legal. Want to chat more IM me or e-mail me anytime.
2007-02-02 02:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Move on, as tough as that will be.
"have known this woman all of my life"
Your husband has been "gone" for a lot longer than 2 months. That's just how long you have not been physically in the same space. She has been in the picture for some time without your knowledge.
2007-02-02 02:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Appearently, something was wrong and you need to confront him on this other woman. If he's slept with her, then I would file for divorce and take the kids and his money and house. All a separation does is clear his concience about having an affair. If you've moved out...move back in and say that a divorce is needed to get rid of you. If he wants that...you will take him for all of his money because he is the one that was unfaithful.
2007-02-02 02:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by goldenfir 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad and mom seperated 7 years ago. But 4 years later she got married. I'm not saying you have to wait this long. It will be hard, but move on.
2007-02-02 14:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he moved on. found another fling thing. maybe he just didn't wanna be tied down. men don't talk about themselves. if he said there's no way that you all can work it out. i would just give up. soon your gonna seem too desperate and that's not a good thing. i would just do things that make U and only U happy. hes not gonna Liston who knows maybe he needs to be separated for a while. maybe hell come crawling back! u never know. till then just do for yourself. women should never make them self sound desperate. men will feed on that energy and use women because they know that were vulnerable!
2007-02-02 03:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by shoppingreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want him back?
He's a cheater, and a liar.
He's been cheating on you.
See a Lawyer, and I hope you're in a State that you
get half of everything when you divorce his b*tt.
I would have never moved out, NEVER.
Even if I had to rent some of the rooms out.
2007-02-02 03:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋