I'm really confused about this. He's as perfect as any husband could be. My ONLY problem is the lack of sex. It may happen once a month. I'd like to have sex once a week. Should I not marry him in hopes to find someone just as perfect but will do it more? The wedding is set for April 2007. And yes he knows how I feel. No it wasn't like this in the begginning. It's been three years and this is the only real argument we continue to have.
2007-02-02 02:38:43 · 26 answers · asked by I am what I am 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn't get better, it gets worse. So if you can't stand it now, don't marry him.
2007-02-02 02:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Do you initiate sex and he turns you down cold? Or do you not come to him first, but you wait for him to initiate it? If you set the mood, get a little wine, a movie or some music, and you start it and he turns you down, there is definitely a problem. It may be mentally with him. Maybe he doesn't feel the excitement as before and he's just giving up. You didn't mention your ages, that might have something to do with it. Maybe he is finding enjoyment elsewhere, I'm not saying he's cheating, but some men turn to porn or whatever to provide the excitement that is lacking with their significant other. Maybe you need to spice it up some and get an exciting movie for you two to watch together and do something to him you would never do or have told him no to. I mean after a few years you need to change it up and switch it up some to add some spice. The same old boring way and boring place will get old for a man. You've got a few months even before you are married and you need to take the initiative here and spice it up for both of your sakes. It's going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong marriage if this is a problem already!!! We've been married 15 yrs and still are as excited as ever because we tried new things and watched new things and just did new things and it really helps!!! We also went through a few bad years of boringness, but I had to let go and just experiment and quit saying no to certain things and start saying yes!!!!! It will really, really help if he still loves you. If he doesn't, nothing you do will help.
2007-02-02 11:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, I can only imagine all of the answers you're going to get from single guys begging you to email them! There must be a billion husbands out there WISHING that the biggest problem with their relationship is that their wives wanted sex more than they did! But you better get it figured out sooner than later! A married couple with a complacent husband and an undersexed & horny wife is a disaster waiting to happen! And it would only be a matter of time before you gave into the temptation that others may dangle in front of your pretty little face!
2007-02-02 11:34:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm...is there anything you can do to spice up the bedroom a lil? go on a couples cruise? or find other exciting things to bring some life back to ur sex life. I wouldnt not marry him just becuz of the sex..or lack there of. If you love him and hes a good man, stick with him. Things may change once you get married.
2007-02-02 10:44:10 · answer #4 · answered by lanesmommy05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with him about your feelings and find out why he's not having as much sex as you want. Is he trying to limit is so that your honeymoon might be better for the two of you? Just talk with him about it and find out.
Only you can answer that question about getting married. Are you happy being with him? Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? If this trend continues...would you still be faithful to him? Just a couple of questions to ask yourself.
2007-02-02 10:45:21 · answer #5 · answered by goldenfir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a marriage isn;t all about the sex... i mean yes its a part if it but it takes more for a marriage to work then just sex.
It seems like u already have ur mind made up and that u really do want to marry him because u love him!!!!
Why don't u try surprising him with some candles and some lingerie try new things and maybe he;ll be more interested and want to have sex... u gotta keep sex fun and exciting .. that way the both of u will look forward to it.
Good luck!
2007-02-02 10:45:13 · answer #6 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not all a marriage or relationship is about. So if you are confused about marrying someone over sex you need to re evaluate your relationship. My fiance and I had are first baby not long ago and things have changed. So we don't have sex all the time but that is not a concern for neither of us. Our relationship is much deeper then that.
2007-02-02 11:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by KDB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
A thousand times no.
Do want to know unbearable misery? Do you want to be alone and frustrated sexually and then despised by every sanctimonious ignoramus prude in the world?
no, no, no, don't give this a second thought. He's not coming through for you during the courting stage, just wait until he has you married to him till death do you part.
He has sexual problems if he has reluctance to enjoy sex with the person he loves. PERIOD.
Go ask the people of SWAGE.
2007-02-02 10:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason why? How old is he, is there a medical condition? I knew someone who went through the same thing, the guy didnt wanna have sex much, which blows my mind because arnt most men in the world horn dogs? She loved her husband and told him if things didnt change she'd end up cheating, he said ok, and she cheated and he didnt really care, as long as he didnt have to have sex as much, there wasnt any reason, he just didnt want to. and she was a good looking women..but she was uphappy...20 years of marriage....they just divorced.
2007-02-02 11:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
postpone the wedding and find out why he inst interested in having sex with you, especially if it wasnt like that in the beggining. things will not get better once you are married. have you gained weight, had a baby, etc anything that might be a turnoff to him? you need to find out why before getting married and maybe its something that councling could help you with. good luck to you.
2007-02-02 10:49:19 · answer #10 · answered by anitaeric2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't spend much time here in Answers, do you? Every day, people post questions in which they are desperately unhappy because their spouses aren't having sex with them enough. If you can't adjust, if you can't compromise, then no, you should not marry this man. Be grateful you found out about his low sex drive before you married him. You still have time to get out, and you should.
2007-02-02 10:55:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋