i am married to a black man and i know he has cheated on me. I have been with him for 9 years when i confront him about it of course he is not going to tell me the truth and i love him so what am i to do?
2007-02-02 02:32:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not think that the race of a man or the time spent has anything to do with it as much as the men you choose. Some men cheat and some do not. The way you worded this question was kinda lousy in my opinion. The phase "even though" like a black man should be grateful to be with you. If I was your husband I would be very hurt by that.
2007-02-02 02:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Karen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the links, there are many opinions on this subject and few studies. The thing to remember here is not to label a person a certain way. You can generalize about people, but each person is different and will probably be offended if you try to generalize him.
Sex and the Inner City
The sexual and romantic habits of urban black males have long been a subject of scrutiny. Forty years ago, the Moynihan Report—The ***** Family: The Case for National Action—decried the prevalence of female-headed households in urban ghettoes and focused on the absence of fathers as a key factor undermining the social and economic progress of African Americans. A decade later, “blaxploitation” films lampooned and sometimes celebrated the promiscuity of African-American men from the inner- city underclass.
2007-02-02 11:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by Wes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say not to stereotype but it is hard when there is so much expereince of this situation. Black men all seem to run around or at least take part in sleazy behaviour, even the ones that have all the signs of being a good man. I've had a few such expereinces. Not sure why.
2007-02-02 10:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by Tanya Pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think Colour has any thing to do with it, some people cheat, some people just don't belive in manogomy. After 9 years it is really hard to walk away, this could have been just a 1 time deal, you can try to forgive him, and leave him if he does it again. I'm sorry for your situation, it isn't easy, Good luck.
2007-02-02 10:44:06 · answer #4 · answered by jaamat6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Color is immaterial... and hon, get yourself into a few sessions of counseling to figure out why you are willing to stay with someone who has cheated on you.... find out what it is about your self-esteem that allows you to think this is all you deserve. And just in case you haven't figured it out, you don't love this guy, you love the image of what you THINK he is, and those two just ain't the same. Relationships, be it a marriage or a commitment of love are admiration, respect, passion and trust. If the guy has shared the passion with someone else, the visual is just TTTTTOOOOO strong, and the trust is gone -- he has lied to you, and you are the "jerk in reserve". With the trust and passion in the toilet, the respect and admiration are there too.... hon, you don't have a relationship, you have a roommate, and an occasional unfaithful boinking buddy, and when you figure that out, and accept it, and then get some help to get your head on straight, you will be in a better position to find a guy worth your affection and commitment.... This one ain't it...
Lots of people put up with unfaithful partners... don't be one of them. Life is too short, and love with a proper partner is just toooo lovely, to waste it on a jerk...
Good luck, hon
2007-02-02 10:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue is nothing to do with his colour.
The issue is whether you are prepared to accept his cheating on you or whether you wont.
Only you can decide.
If he's cheated on you once,chances are he will again.
There are some men for whom monogamy is a seeming impossibility.
You love him-does he love you enough to change?
If not and you find his behaviour unacceptable then the only option is to leave
2007-02-02 10:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by bearbrain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It SEEMS to me that men of color seem to find cheating and pimping and playin to be more socially acceptable than men of other cultures. Not sure why that is. In my circle of friends you would be looked down upon for cheating on your wife. How can you be trusted with large business opportunities when your own wife can't even trust you? But for some reason with black men, it's something to brag about I guess. Not sure why that is. Speaking only for myself I can say that when 90% of the black men I've known have either cheated on their wives or been dishonest with their customers or both, it's not me being a racist when I am skeptical of the smooth talking black men I meet. It's just the law of probability! To answer your question directly, you need to decide if you love your husband enough to overlook his dishonesty? If so then don't complain when he cheats. If you value your self respect, then obviously it's not someting you should have to tollerate. One last thing......funny to me how black men are prone to cheating but go crazy if they suspect their woman of cheating on them!
2007-02-02 10:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I guess white men don't cheat. Being married to you I can see why a man would CHEAT. ANY MAN. Grow up and act your AGE and not your SHOE SIZE.
2007-02-02 10:40:44 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cope. But just make sure he ain't on the down low.
2007-02-02 10:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by Cracker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of white men cheat, too.
lots of black men don't cheat.
sounds like you are willing to accept it.
2007-02-02 10:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋