Do you think this is a good cover letter?

Question

February 1, 2007



To whom it may concern,


I am interested in the Part-time photography position we had discussed over the phone, I am qualified to fill this position and due to my education and employment background I believe I would be a great asset to your company. Enclosed is a copy of my resume, which further details of my qualifications for the position.

I am honest, trustworthy, hard working, and have a great attendance record. I am willing to learn and I am a great with people. I have had experience in talking with people over the phone as well as fine art skills.

I look forward to discussing my background and accomplishments with you and learning more about your needs.

Thank you for your consideration.


Sincerely,

Answer 1

It's not terrible.
Throw in a couple of points of why you are "honest, trustworthy, hard working, and have a great attendance record".
I like that it is very short and to the point, but you gotta big yourself up as much as you can but obviously not over do it. You did not under-do it but you can add a few things to make yourself more credible.
List proof, because other than that, you have just places words on paper like everyone else. What sets you apart from them?
Good luck!

Answer 2

Your base is good. I "tweaked" it a little bit and re-arranged some. Try this. Above all, do your background on the company before you go:

To whom it may concern,


Per our telephone conversation, I am writing to inform you I am interested in the Part-time photography position. My education and employment background will show I am qualified to fill this position , and I believe I would be a great asset to your company . I have experience in talking with people over the phone, as well as in person, and have fine art skills.
Enclosed please find a copy of my resume, which further details of my qualifications for the position.

I possess the attributes of being honest, and trustworthy, as well as good work ethics, including a great attendance record. I am willing to learn and enjoy working with people.
I look forward to discussing my background and accomplishments with you and learning more about your company and your needs.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Sincerely,

Answer 3

THE BASIS IS GOOD, BUT YOU NEED TO FINE TUNE IT AND WORK ON PUNCTUATION...RUN ON SENTENCES. I WOULD REVISE AS FOLLOWS:

Enclosed please find a copy of my resume. I am interested in the Part-time photography position we had discussed over the phone. My education and employment background qualify me for this position. I believe I will be a great asset to your company.

I am honest, trustworthy, hard working, and have a great attendance record. I am willing to learn and I am a great with people. I possess both excellent communication skills and fine art skills.

I look forward to discussing my background and accomplishments with you and learning more about your needs.



YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ENCLOSED IS A COPY OF MY RESUME, WHICH FURTHER DETAILS MY QUALIFICATIONS....THAT'S REDUNDANT BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT A RESUME DOES. BEST OF LUCK!

Answer 4

The beginning is very good, but I would work on the second half of the letter a bit more.

You wrote, "I am willing to learn and I am a great with people. I have had experience in talking with people over the phone as well as fine art skills. "

So this is the paragraph that needs the most work. Obviously, the grammatical error needs to be changed from "and I am a great with people."

Since it's a photography gig, I would say something about having a "passion" for photography. Your keen interest in photography is your biggest selling point. I wouldn't play up the attendance record. That should be a given. You could sum it up by saying that you're reliable, or dependable. People skills are always good, so i think that's good, but you might want to elaborate on how you acquired or demonstrated your people skills. For instance, you could say, by working at ____, I learned that it is important to listen, and discuss what the people really want.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Please don't think I'm flaming you, because I'm certainly not!

What you have written is a pretty good business letter.

And if you were a purchasing agent and writing to a vendor to confirm a purchase order, your tone would be excellent.

Is a cover letter a type of business letter? Well not exactly. Not in the truest sense of what a business letter is. The cover letter, along with your resume`, is you application package, so to speak.

The resume is your fact sheet, and you could think of your cover letter as the personality that indicates a little of the person behind the resume`.

If you agree with what I just said, then with this in mind, re-read your cover letter, only this time use a monotone voice, or read it in the voice of the most boring number cruncing accountant you can think of.

Figuratively, it's as though you applied a rolling pin to the letter and and squished any vestiges of the real person out of the letter.

You are a real person, and you have a "voice," and a real personality, but you've almost entirely kept both from the letter.

This is entirely up to you, obviously, but I like to take chances, be a little different, and my objective with a cover letter is to impress, and gain attention.

With respect to your situation, I'd want to leave the person with a smile, so to speak.

To give you an idea, I will give you my interpretation of how your cover letter should read:

Hello there!

I want to thank you for allowing me your time on the telephone yesterday. I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with you. I am very excited at the prospect of working for you, as I love photography, and I am passionate about the opportunity to learn more.

I am hopeful that through our conversation, you could see that I am definitely qualified for the position you offer. I have enclosed my resume with this letter, and I truly want you to see that with my education and prior work experience, I do want to become a great asset to your company.

Please feel free to call any of my previous employers. I like to think of myself as a fast learner, a hard worker, someone who's trustworthy. and someone who works quite well as a team member. I believe any of my previous employers would confirm this.

On a particular level, I do posess fine art skills, and in prior employment settings I do have phone experience, and in many different and varied situations.

I am excited at the prospect of working for you, and the opportunities your position will afford me, both in practical experience and the knowledge gained.

I definitely look forward to dicsussing my employment opportunities with you.

Thank you

______________________

Primarlily, what I did here was to give the letter more of a feel that there is a person writing it. I've given it more of a voice, so to speak. it's not so much first person monotone.

I started the letter by thanking them for their time for a couple of reasons. First of all, it shows that you think. That you realize that for them to take the time to talk to you, it is taking time away from other responsibilities. And second, by you thanking them, it puts them in a better frame of mind to be more receptive to actually read the rest of the letter.

Also, with the use of the word "Excited," and the phrase, "I am hopeful," I've given it more of an action orientation. And lastly, I don't know how this will apply to you, but by brining up the previous employers with your claims of being trust worthy, etc., I've given those claims more of a sense of credibility.

This all has to do with your perception, but I'm hopeful you can see by adding a couple phrases, and changing things around a little, you can sound more positive, and more action-oriented.

I hope this helped a little bit, and good luck!

Answer 6

actually, i don't. everybody in the world says they are honest, trustworthy, hardworking, etc. I view this as essentially boilerplate. You want to focus on the particular job and stand out. Say why you think you would be good for the specific job-things you've done in photography or classes you've taken. Anything you discussed on phone that would be good to reiterate in letter? if so, use it. I know I'm disagreeing with most people, but I read thru this and got nothing special out of it other than see resume attached.

Answer 7

Sounds good, however, be careful with starting too many sentences with "I." I actually had a class in this and it was one thing my professor insisted on - no more than 1-2 sentences starting with "I." For example, in the second paragraph you could say, "As an honest, trustworthy, hand working and punctual person, I believe I would be an asset to your company."

Answer 8

The second paragraph sounds a little too ME ME ME... Every one has had experience talking over a phone.... and it really doesn't connect with the fine art skills.

Answer 9

As per our telephonic conversation of even date, I herewith confirm my interest in the position ......

Enclosures are always mentioned last and not in the middle...

Should you only be sending a resume, make sure to mention that a comprehensive curriculum vitae is available on request...

....talking with people.... definate no-no..... try using words like, liaising etc.

Your perusal and consideration ........... is appreciated in advance...

Nice attempt - just try and polish it up a little - then you're ready to go... good-luck :)

Answer 10

Looks good to me. I would put a period after phone and background.