before I met him, I was confused about my sexuality. I'd had experiences both with women and other men, even threesomes with another woman and a man. Being with women make me horny as hell and I love touching another woman, the softness and sensuality of another woman's body. My partner satisfies me in every way, but i can't help thinking our sex life would be so much better with other people involved occasionally. we brushed the subject in conversation but he wouldn't hear of it; would think of it as cheating, even though i'd be with him, and even though he's had threesomes in the past too. I'd love to try swinging or anything like that. I'm getting really frustrated and have even thought about meeting up with one of my ex-girlfriends without him knowing. I love him and am completely in love with him, but I don't know what to do about this.
2007-02-02 01:04:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I've always found it odd that people won't do things with the one they love the most, and the one that loves them the most, that they'll do with strangers. I constantly see on here people saying "I'd do it with someone I didn't know well, but not my spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend.
It's this immature idea of jealousy = love, or the stronger the love the more jealous you should be. This is such an unhealthy relationship scenario.
I have always felt that the one that loves you should love you for who you are and what you are, not what they want you to be so that they are not uncomfortable with being with you. In my opinion this is the #1 reason for divorce. People marry who they want that person to be, not who they are. Then they resent them when they won't be that person and their spouse resents them for trying to change them.
Basically, your boyfriend is insecure and thus jealous. He is afraid that he may be inadequate and that good sex with someone else would be enough to lure you away from him because he doesn't think he has any other value to you but sex. So he feels that by preventing you from experiencing anyone else he is protecting himself. In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
It true love you find freedom. If you love someone you bring freedom to them. If the opposite is true it is not true love, but self-love and jealousy. Loving someone is not only the desire to make someone happy but also the ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love. Even if your intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her suffer. If you can not openly understand and accept your partner you cannot love them properly.
In some cases it's best just to move-on and find someone who's ideas and beliefs about a sex are more in line with yours. It's not right to ask someone to change for you. If each of you can't be who you are with each other, then the relationship is eventually doomed.
For some really good, objective information about swinging, threesomes, and the like, check-out The Swingers Board. It's free and it is chalk-full of good information and help for you from people who have been there and still are.
2007-02-02 06:15:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is my opinion and i like the ? very much, i live in a small conservative town, so take that in mind, if you like some thing you like it plain and simple, hell most guys would be more than willing to accommodate for another woman, not just one, lots of other girls as long as it is safe. i love woman, if i had my way i would have 4 or five in my bed every night that i could take turns cuddling with, it would feel great to be surrounded by all that love. and no that the same thing was making my partner happy. when a guy really cares about you he is not going to want to see you getting humped by other guys, that's how most guys think. if you want to stay with this guy and you just have to have more than him stick with other woman,and leave other men out of the picture.and don't sneak around bring your girl friend home to meet your partner its the only way.
2007-02-02 13:46:51 · answer #2 · answered by devil weed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand how you can say you are in love with someone but want to sleep with someone else. If my partner ever even brought it up I'd have to leave them. If you meet up with an ex of yours and don't tell your boyfriend that IS cheating, you know. If you aren't satisfied with your relationship you should just leave now.
2007-02-02 02:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Scully 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen if you guys are not sexually compatible and your not willing to compromise these feelings then break up. Dont ignore urges until they get so strong you will eventually cheat. YOu tried you both had two different directions Secually you wanted to go in, so go your seperate ways and start a new. Its sad but this does happen.
2007-02-02 04:01:19 · answer #4 · answered by david s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Monogamy isn't for everyone. This is something you have to be honest with your partner and most of all yourself. Tell him how you feel. It will have consequences, but you can not ignore the way you feel. Your partner will have to understand as this is part of who you are and pretending otherwise is going to lead you down a road of deciet which is not good. Good luck and stay strong!
2007-02-02 05:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to explain to him how you feel. You said you just brushed it off once, don't do that. He needs to know how you feel about this, it is obviously a big part of who you are, and you wouldn't be being honest with yourself or him if you didn't. Tell him you need him to listen and hear you out on it. and if he doesn't then leave.
2007-02-02 01:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by precious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is about compromise and sacrifice. If you both accept this then you must find a middle ground where each one would lose something but gets something else in return.
2007-02-02 02:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by Alain M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already discussed this issue with him and he says no way then it seems then that you and your partner are not sexually compatible. You need to move on before you really hurt him.
Best to you,
J
2007-02-02 02:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋