son is on basketball team for his school?

Question

he is in the 8th grade and plays for his school.He practices 4 days a week for 2hours .He is the not the best player on but enjoys it.The last two games he and two other students did not play at all.They are not the best players on the team and he was quite upset last night.Is this good for his self esteem? The coach told me yesterday to put him in basketball camp this summer.There are fifteen kids on the team.Also one of the players who is pretty good was sick the day before the game and had a excused absense and the coach would not let him play and he had to sit thru the game in his shirt and tie because that's what the players wear to school on game days. other games my son maybe played 3 to 5 minutes.These were the last 2 games before the tournament.Any suggestions on what to tell my son to make him feel better?

Answer 1

I'm a coach and I hate when that kind of situation happens. First of all, let me tell you this:
1. 15 players is a lot considering only 5 play at a time. If you're able to find him a team with 10 players, he will be able to improve much faster.
2. Basketball camps are excellent. He can learn new things, practice hard and meet new friends, like him, so he can boost his self-esteem
3. Do you encourage your son? Do you help him out sometimes? Do you go to his games? Do you practice things with him? Those are some little things that can help him (his game and self-esteem)

Now, what I suggest. First of all, tell him about my first point. 15 players means 3 different lineups and trust me, it's hard to manage minutes when it happens.

Second of all, it sounds silly, but he's not the only player benched, so he's can't be that bad. Try not to compare him with others though.

Third, ask him if he really likes it, if his coach is fair, ask him questions like that. Maybe he would like to practice another sport? Who knows...

That's about what you can do. You can also go talk with the coach but AGAIN, 15 players, hard to manage. I'm sure the coach can't even concentrate on each players' "thing-to-get-better".

I also think 4 practices of 2h per week is A LOT. My players get 2 practices of 1½h each per week. Does you son has a social life? Maybe you should try to find a better team for his skills and lifestyle.

Answer 2

Same thing happened to my son. He tried out for the school team every year from his 7th grade year to his 10th grade year and finally made the team. Some HS coaches are not good role models or do they have the knowledge to even be coaching or have any business being around kids. My son finally made his public schools JV team and sat the bench. He had a grand total of 24 minutes of play for the ENTIRE season. Needless to say, when the season was over he asked the coach why he didn't get to play and the coach told him that was the worst player on the team. What an idiot! My son played on a top 10 ranked AAU team & won two awards at Auburn University basketball camp and his high school DID NOT have any talent. Now, he is on the Varsity team at a private school without even having to try out and the school is the current state champ and we are looking at another this year. For my son, basketball is his life and I as a parent was willing to transfer him so he could play and possibly earn a scholarship to college or even play at college level. We now have a wonderful coach! Good luck. Keep encouraging him not to give up on something he truly loves...coaches will come and go and eventually the right coach will see his talent.

Answer 3

I can't speak for his coach, cuz I don't know what kind of guy he is. But I have been a coach at that level, so I am familiar with this situation. I had to cut a kid one time who was not really good enough to play on our team, and his mother was quite upset, claiming that he was the best player on his team the year before, etc.,etc., which was obviously not true. But it was still very hard for me to cut a player, or to not give minutes to less talented kids. But I also had an obligation to other kids and the program to try to win and make the team better.
I have also been in your son's shoes when I was his age, and I know how frustrating it can be to sit the bench, especially when you are better than someone in front of you.
The summer camps are a great idea. Try to find a local university where college coaches are teaching hoops. He will learn a lot there. I would also recommend a video series called Better Basketball that features NBA guys teaching skills. They are in the pros for a reason.
It is important to understand that being good at basketball requires a commitment to not only basketball training, but also physical training. But as far as making him feel better, remind him of the Jordan story, and that most great players have been in his situation at one point in their life. It's just part of it. He can use it as motivation, or get discouraged and let it stop him from what he wants to do. The choice is his.
Good luck

Answer 4

That sort of reminds me of what my Mom said the me. I was on a very bad soccer team and we were losing every game. She told me that I should be grateful that I 1. could play and 2. that I had the chance to play because there are many children in the world and in this country who would love to be able to play on a losing soccer team or practice basketball and them sit but they cannot because of either sickness , poverty or because the opportunity simply does not exist. Tell you son to practice hard give everything he has in every drill. Have him talk to the coach,with you close by, and ask him what he can do to get more playing time. Also remind him that the great Micheal Jordan was cut from this Jr high team and look how that turned out.

Answer 5

Ok I have two sons. Both mine play on school basketball teams. For self esteem I suggest encouraging them and basketball camp is an excellent idea. But this is also real life. All things in life are not fair. They must learn this at some point in their lives. Playing for organized teams shows you are a team player and whats best for the team is the way to go. It isn't just about them anymore. It's about the team. As for the excused absence....the ones who showed up for practice or a previous game should have the upper hand at playing. I know we all get sick but again...this is life and our children in todays society need to learn life isn't all roses. If your son is playing 3 to 5 minutes a game he is doing better than most. To raise his self esteem if he is truely interested in playing, camp, extra help at home, shooting at a basket at home, having a family member help him with skills he is lacking, lots of things can help him improve. The only way this is bad for his self esteem is if we as parents try to make it that way.

Answer 6

I know exactly how your son feels because last night i had a game and we were up by 12 points and the Coach put in the bench at the beginning of the 4th quarter and he forgot to put me in (or so he says) so i got in with 52 seconds left we were up by 15 i got 1 steal and shot one 3 pointer so i know how he feels i got a total of 52 seconds and i am 1 of the better players on the team so that's what get me mad

Answer 7

Wait until he gets into high school basketball.

The way of the road is, you miss the day before a game, you dont play.

You miss practice before a game, you dont play.

If you are not one of the best 8 or 9, you dont play.

When I was an 6 - 8th grader, I attended about 4 basketball camps a summer. Put him in them, and make him practice if he wants to play.

Answer 8

Sagging Pants, Chain hanging Low, Long shirts, AK in the Pock, Hood up

Answer 9

Yes, you are over-reacting. Do the moms of the other boys think the same thing? Just because there are girls on the bus does not mean that your son is going to try to have sex with them or want to date them. He is around girls all the time, and with the bus driver and coaches on the bus it is not likely anything is going to happen. Also if kids are brought up with morals they are less likely to engage in pre-marital sex.

Answer 10

Ur son musnt give a damn for his coach cause all he needs to do is to play cause he loves the game and he musnt put in his head if he is going to play or not HE JUST HAS TO LET GO OF HIMSELF AND PLAY