My wife is super stressed out. It’s like she can’t stand the kids or me to be in the same room with her. She says she feels trapped. I’m thinking of telling her to go to her friends house for the weekend while I keep the kids. I don’t like when she goes to this one friend’s house because all they do is complain about each other’s husband but maybe that’s what she needs is to go complain to her girlfriend and hang out. My question is this: Do all you married women out there go to a friends house every once in a while to just blow off steam and complain? Does it make you feel better about your life and your marriage when you get back or does it make things worse? When she goes to her friends I feel like she’s running away from the marriage but maybe that’s just in my head because I don’t do that.
2007-02-02 00:16:51 · 14 answers · asked by golf4everdude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well thats how its starts before you get a divorce......you have been warned ......i wish you the best tho ......and i feel for you ......been there she done that .....and now its the divorce time.... you have about 6 months left ......
2007-02-02 00:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by the boss 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being a mom and wife is very stressful. Let's face it... the mom's raise the kids with very little help from dad. For the most part, we wouldn't have it any other way. We are human and yes, we get frustrated with the kids and the hubby's. A little time away or even at home alone is GREAT for us. So, you can either take the kids out for a day and let her be home alone resting or doing whatever it is that she wants to do. Last night my husband and daughter went out for the evening while they were gone, I fixed a great dinner and had the dinner waiting for them when they arrived. It did me some good to have some quiet time but I was ready for them to return home. Going to a Friends house is an okay idea or you can even get her a spa treatment. It just helps us as women to have some independent time every once in a while. Good for you for seeing it on your own!!
2007-02-02 00:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off, I'm not about to judge you from just the name of your avatar, that would be ludicrous! None of us are well enough informed about the details of your life to do that! We all need some time alone now and then, especially those of us with kids! I suggest letting go vent to her friend, and then sometime soon, make arrangements for someone to watch the kids for the weekend and the two of you have a nice quiet getaway. If nothing else, just book a jaccuzi room at a local Holiday Inn for the weekend, and maybe have a calm, serious discussion with her about why she feels trapped, and what you can do to help her overcome the feeling.
2007-02-02 00:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by grizzly_r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs a break guy. Rather than just send her to her friends place why not buy her a spa day or better yet a spa weekend. How about a holiday away from the house & kids??
If she is home with the kids 24/7 what do you expect? You get your break from the chaos when you are at work and playing golf & whatever else you do with your buds. What does she have?
Do you help around the house at all? Do you take her out for dinner? To a movie?
2007-02-02 00:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is common for women to vent. But what I have found is the more I vent, it kind of feeds itsself, so that all I'm thinking about are negative feelings and things. It's not a good place to be, and one can get stuck in this rut. I think it is kind of you to offer to watch the kids so she can have some space, but you also ought to just ask her to not spend the entire weekend bitching, ask her to spend sometime thinking of good things and positive things. Sometimes we get in a rut and we don't even realize that we have the power to turn it around ourselves. There are probably some really good self help books out there. For marriage I really like Dr. Laura's The proper feeding and care of husbands, and it's companion book, the proper feeding and care of marriages. Maybe YOU should read those first....before you approach your wife and see if any of that applies to your situation. You sound like a really caring guy, she's lucky to have you, she just needs a wake up call!
2007-02-02 00:27:04 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women like running to a friend or family to blow off steam & most the time thats all it takes to make her feel better.
Instead of sending her away why dont you & the kids do something nice for her to show her shes loved & appreciated?
Make her dinner, straighten the house, give her a back rub & run her a warm bath.
Show her shes special.
2007-02-02 00:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All mothers and fathers need space. A mother is the hardest job. We do need to blow off steam. But when this married women gets out I just have a good time and enjoy my time out.No it makes me feel better.Yes shes running. Kids want mommy all the time.We barley breath.I have four kids.Even when dads home they still want mommy. Just keep giving her that space.
2007-02-05 20:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by speedy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, just look at your Avatar's name. Golf 4 ever. Do you neglect her and the kids to play golf? Of course she needs to get away from you. You probably ignore her, except to ask when is dinner ready. Do you neglect the children for the sake of golf? What do you do on the weekends when she is doing laundry and running the kids all over town? Golf? What kind of husband are you? She obviously isn't getting what she needs at home.
2007-02-02 00:23:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i can't answer for all women but i don't go anywhere if my husband and i have problems we resolve them ourselves if we had marital problems we surely wouldn't drag any other people into them because its between us and no one else, we have to deal with them.. This is the way we would deal with them, we have our ups and downs but we love each other so much that we deal with them and move on past it. In order to move over a hurdle you have to jump it first and that is basically what we do, and not allow others in our problems.
2007-02-02 00:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say most women have a confidant, that they pour their hearts out to.. whether its good or bad stuff, and yes we will hang out with our friends to just blow off steam.. now as far as if it makes things better or worse for the marriage, its up to the influence of the friend over ur spouse, and if they are negative towards your marriage or possitive towards it.. there are times where my husband will say.. " you've been talking to Lisa today havent you?" , because well friends tend to boost up ur ego, and if ur angry about something give u the back bone u need to confront a situation..
Most women love to talk..and yes they love to discuss their marriage.. it may start with something as trivial as "does ur husband leave his clothes on the floor for u to pick up?" then it somehow ends up into a husband bashing match.. and u'll definately find that even more common in women that are stay at home mom's because one, it gets extremely boring, doing the same things day in, and day out..looking at the same walls, cleaning the house, just for the kids and hubby to come home and destroy it just so u have to clean it again.. and theres no real days off, because the family has to be taken care of every day, no weekends off, or holidays.. etc.. so it gets extremely irritating, and depressing..
My advice to u..is to find a babysitter for the kids, and come up with a "romantic" weekend for u and your wife, .. get her out of the house even if u just get a hotel room in town, get her out of the house, give her a "romance novel" type weekend, she needs u to help put her back together, im sure she loves u , she's just feeling like a maid rather then a wife and mother.. and she wants to feel some romance, some excitement, wants to feel loved, appreciated, and desired again.. basically she wants to feel like a "woman" and not some unsignificant blob..that just does the cooking and cleaning..
The more time u both spend with out each other , the more distant ur relationship will become at this point....so id definate get away and sweep her off her feet, as if u were on ur honeymoon again..
Id also talk to her about how shes feeling, what u can do to help her out.. so many men, think all they need to do is go to work make the money and thats it, so they come home and watch tv, sleep , eat, etc.. and thats it while she's still doing , doing , doing.. kids need to be fed shes making dinner, shes making sure the kids homework is done, she's making sure they get in the bath, get their pj's on, go to bed at bedtime, she's cleaning up the mess .. im not saying thats what u do, but she may just need u to say "what can i do , to help u out so u dont feel so overwhelmed?"
Because basically thats whats happened, she feels overwhelmed, and she feels like every where she looks everyone is wanting her to do something for them.. and shes wondering when is it her turn..??
Talk to ur wife, come to a compromise of what u can do to lighten her load alittle.. take her away just u and her and work on ur relationship, act as if u had just started dating and u want to impress her again.. make her fall in love with her life again..
The problem with going away for a couple days to get space is , the problems with her and ur marriage, are going to be waiting when she gets back, so if u want this to work, u want to help her, then work on making ur relationship better, not just giving her a two day break from it.. she'll only feel the same way in a couple weeks if u never solve the problem..
Good luck..
2007-02-02 00:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST LIKE EVERY GUY, WOMEN NEED TO BLOW OFF STEAM TOO. SOMETIMES THIS MEANS TALKING TO THEIR FRIENDS ABOUT THEIR SPOUSES, SOMETIMES IT MEANS GOING OUT ON THE TOWN FOR A NIGHT, SOMETIMES IT MEANS SPENDING MONEY ON OURSELVES. MAYBE SHE NEEDS SOME TIME TO HERSELF AND IF SHE'S NEVER GETTING ANY, I CAN SEE HOW SHE'D START TO FEEL TRAPPED.
SHE NEEDS TO TAKE TIME OUT EVERY DAY FOR JUST HER. MAYBE JUST AN HOUR A DAY TO DO WHATEVER SHE NEEDS TO DO. READ A BOOK, WINDOW SHOP, PAMPER HERSELF, ETC....
2007-02-02 06:01:26 · answer #11 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋