Why should i pay?

Question

Why should i have to pay csa money when i cant even get access to see him.

Answer 1

Is this some kind of child support. If it is, the money is really for the child. If you are not allowed to see him, I would write a note in a journal and log in it every day-I would love to see you today, but as usual- I was not allowed by_____. It made me very sad because I love you so much and want to be a part of your life. Love,_______.
Give this to the person when they mature if they have issues as to why you were not in their life and this will be proof and they will know that you loved them.
Poor children used as pawns, when they should just enjoy their childhood.
You may want to check with a child psychologist/psychiatrist to see if this is an appropriate idea. I just thought it is one way to prove to a child that that parent thought of them and did try to see them.
Backlash could be a turn in the relationship they had with the other parent which might not be good-so that is why I suggest seeking professional help before try this one!

Answer 2

it's wrong: if it's to support the child then you should be able to pay for the things the child needs directly yourself, instead of giving the money to the mother and letting her spend it at her discretion. This should also be tied to you being allowed to see your child and ensure that he/she is being well looked after on a regular basis, that the money you are giving is indeed being spent on him/her (i.e. access rights to the mother's finances), and bring the child items of necessity in person (clothes, presents, etc...) It should alse be your right to attend parent teacher meetings to make sure he doesn't lag behind in school. the system assumes that the father is a no good lowlife who doesn't care about his children, when in fact divorce is all about the parents no longer loving each other and has nothing to do with how much they like their kids. the system seems to be totally irrational, assuming that "access" to the children is a benefit that the parents have to fight over, giving it to the mother systematically makes no sense.

having said this, in practice maybe 90% of divorces are with low life fathers who divorce to get away from their wives AND the responsibility of fatherhood, so those idiots are ruining it for nice people like you.

you're not just trying to get out of paying CSA by pretexting that you want access, knowing that you won't get it - that would be a convenient way to justify not pay, and would be horribly cynical - you wouldn't think of doing something like that, would you?

Answer 3

Child support is not the same as access. Whether you see your child or not he has a right to child support.
If you want to spend time with your child then go to court. Make sure you enforce any access or joint custody agreements. If she still makes it difficult then take her to court every time she refuses to let you see your son. Your relucance to pay child support when you don't get to see your son could be used against you in court if his mother has any documentary evidence of this. Remember the courts are only concerned with what is best for your son.

Answer 4

Your responsibility, 50-50 - mum and dad. If you have bad attitude about paying your ex will never let your son forget what a deadbeat father you were, not very nice but that's what will happen and the poor kid will grow up with a chip on his shoulder thinking that his dad didn't care.

Answer 5

Tell your EX to grow up and let by gones be left where it should be left.
A mother has no right to hold a child from seeing his dad. She must be really peed with you.
You both need to build a bridge and get over it for the sake of your relationship with your son.
After all its about him and his future and what mum and dad do to make his future worth anything.
Not carry a load of luggage that doesn't belong to him.

Answer 6

It's the law, if you don't pay you end up in prison after you are in arrears $5000.00. Get an attorney and demand the court enforce access to your child.

Answer 7

Because you are his father - if you can't get access to see him take the case to court

Answer 8

i know how you feel my partner is in the same boat as you it was his wife who cheated not him she kicked him out and he has never been allowed to see his children some women just don't let their ex see there kids and the courts do nothing about it .but you do have to keep paying as its not the child's fault

Answer 9

Because you are his Father and apparently you are too much of an irresponsible lowlife to be allowed to "get access" to him.

Answer 10

Paying child support does not gaurantee visitation with the child, apparently there is something going on that you are not sharing with us. It is your RESPONSIBILITY to help support your child.