I've been going out with my girlfriend for a year and it's been hell lately. We both know that we love each other and we care of each other, but we argue alot. She's been mean, doesn't listen to what i have to say. Everything is about her. She feels that she has to act differently when she's around me. We have a communication problem, especially from her part, but she always blames me for everything...i'm tired of this, i gave it ALL, and she doesn't appreciate that...i feel i need to get out, but i love her alot....i don't know what to do???
2007-02-01 21:51:38 · 10 answers · asked by M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From someone that has BEEN there, yes. Leave, and don't look back. That sure as **** isn't love for you on her part.
Here's the thing that scares me about your situation. You said you "gave it ALL" you "feel the need to get out" but you "love her alot"
You so obviously feel the need to provide or do for her, but why?
I know you gave and gave, I was there too. I still got dominated and driven out. I couldn't make her respect me or love me, nor will you be able to. If you feel the need to get out then you better...that's your gut instinct talking. Get out before you get in too deep like I did. You will get over her in time. If she comes around again, don't go back with her because she'll only be after the things you provide, not you.
Seriously, look up the definitions of narcissism, masochism, and sadist. Read alot on each def. till you get a good understanding, then you will recognize you know someone that fits that bill.
Get out and good luck.
2007-02-01 22:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by Jed 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. You can love someone all day, but that doesn't mean you're a good match.
If you don't want to call it off all together you should just take a step back. I would sit her down and tell her you want to say something important with out interruption. Tell her your not happy and you feel there needs to be changes in the relationship. You can go into more detail then, BUT please stay in a non accusatory mode. Don't just blame everything on her, you have you part in this too.
You don't have to break up, but just start slowing down on the amount of time you spend with each other. See if any changes take place. If nothing happens over a few months then I would call it quits. Remember you can't really change anyone and if they do try ...change doesn't happen overnight.
Good luck.
2007-02-01 22:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to have to say this but isn't there an element of contradiction in what you're saying?
People who truly love eachother aren't selfish in the relationship,do not have a communication problem and don't continually blame the other for anything going wrong.
So if you think that being with her is you giving and her continuously taking then she has got to have a wake up call.
Why stay in a relationship that you describe as 'Hell"?
What's the point.
And how can you love someone who behaves like she does?
If you don't want to put a final lid on it suggest you take time out for a couple of months and then see if her attitudes change
2007-02-01 22:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by bearbrain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both need a little breather. Not necessarily a break-up but some time away from each other to see if you both will apprecitate each other later on. If you 2 agree, maybe sit down with a counselor. This wouldn't hurt either.
2007-02-01 22:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by K.W. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... just before you leave... try this... if it doesn't work, then leave...
stop doing ALL you used to do before... stop sharing secrets (if you do that), stop paying attention to her, stop being nice, etc. I'm not saying to start ignoring her... i only mean... reduce the things you'd "normally" do for/to her and do them less this time! try that for a month and see the difference!
2007-02-01 23:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kheme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe a separation would help, so she can see What life is without u, and maybe she would appreciate u more once u come back to her.
2007-02-01 23:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is this way now it will only get worse... Yes you should break up now.
2007-02-01 22:07:57 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you shud write a letter to her regarding this problem or force someone else(her friend) to talk to her about this. may be she'll understand this from someone else's mouth!
2007-02-01 21:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by nomad.queen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her you need a break and just be friends for a while.
2007-02-01 21:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about it
I think you have already made up your mind
2007-02-02 02:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋