my friend come and live with me sometime coz he is too bored to live with his dad, he is 35 years old. the problem is that he stayed sometime too long, more than a week. i live by myself and i just want to have my privacy sometime, what should i tell him to go home?
2007-02-01 21:11:49 · 19 answers · asked by tostosh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You can pop on You Me and Dupree...and drop a bunch of hints.
Seriously, sounds like time for a talk. Don't make it about them, make it about you. Tactfully but honestly, say how YOU want your alone time and privacy, YOU need the space, YOU have other guests coming, YOU can't afford him to stay...any or all of these instead of THEY are overstaying, THEY are sloppy, THEY are intruding or interrupting, THEY are not following your rules.
When you push friendships too far one way, and this is a big imbalance of give and take, it is hard for the relationship to recover from it. You can mention this, and say you don't want to end up resenting him, because you value the friendship.
At the very least you have the right to set up boundaries about the arrangements. Like 2 nights a week max or set a time when your place is off limits to them, or just start asking for them to kick in for part of the expenses.
2007-02-01 21:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying, my friend.... "Company is like fish....it stinks after a few days! " Just kidding.
I think the best course of action to take is to sit your friend down, let him know that you're a private kind of person, and that you don't mind his company, and enjoy the time spent, but there are times when you need to have your privacy, and time to attend to your personal matters. And when he exceeds a reasonable amount of time to visit, it disrupts your home life and your ability to do the things you need to do. Tell him that this in no way means that he is not invited to visit, make that point very clear. But visits within reason would be more acceptable.
And if he is really your friend, he will not get upset, and will respect your wishes. If he does not respect that, then you might want to reconsider the friendship.
Best wishes!
2007-02-01 21:27:36 · answer #2 · answered by C J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation far too many times that even now, I still have a guest that has overstayed their welcome. What I have learned is this:
There is nothing you can say or nothing you can do to make the situation any better. You can only make it worse by not speaking up. Your honesty is the kindest truth that you can give him.
If the truth hurts, that is his problem, not yours. You cannot let the truth hurt you especially under your own house.
2007-02-01 21:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by Nocturne_in_G_Major 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll never understand why people don't see honesty as the best answer to situations like this. Tell him how you feel and that you're not being personal, you just want your own space. Do it over a drink or dinner, but be sincere and DO NOT LIE.
If he's any kind of decent chap, he'll understand.
2007-02-01 21:16:56 · answer #4 · answered by finchleyjohn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something like, "Its been fun having you here over the last couple weeks. Its been kind of like a big, adult, sleep-over. One of these days I'm going to have to get back to my regular routine, though." This may give "Fred" the hint, and maybe he'll mention what his plans are.
If Fred asks if you want him to leave you could then say something like, "Well, it may be good if we could back to our routines again. I am pretty used to the routine I've gotten into living alone."
A less "hinty" approach: "Fred, are you over being bored yet because I'd kind of like to get back to my old routine."
2007-02-01 21:52:40 · answer #5 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old saying: house guests and dead fish start to smell after three days.
You need to be firm with him and tell him that he needs to move on.
2007-02-01 21:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is an particularly dire concern you will have the police are available in and get rid of them. or you need to %. up all of their stuff whilst they are out, go away it on the front backyard and alter all the locks. good success!
2016-11-02 02:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Hey, I just want some privacy right now. Do you mind staying somewhere else for a while?"
2007-02-01 21:15:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait till he is sleeping scream fire and when he runs out side lock the door. Or you could tell him the truth you need your personal time ether way win win
2007-02-01 21:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by Normefoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will never achive anithing by staying quite tell him straight up you want him out i mean you both are groun men stand up and kick his mooching as* out
2007-02-01 21:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by vierafan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋