Please advise?

Question

I have been married for nearly 4 months, but still havent had sex. This is my problem.
But first let me tell you that my husband is a very caring,loving person, and I know for sure that he loves me alot. And he is NOT Gay!. I dont know why he cant have sex with me. We tried to do it a couple of times on our honeymoon, but it didnt happen. And now he doesnt even try anymore. I know that he has a worry about me getting pregnant, but still is that a reason to stop having sex?
Other than that our relationship is fine, even without sex. But lately I've started to wonder what it would be like to have a normal relationship. I tend to get very jealous when I see other married couples etc. I dont know why my husband does not take this seriously. He does not want to go see a therapist or a doctor, so thats ont really an option right now. I know in my heart that I will never leave him, even if this continues. But I dont want him to know that. Im 23 and he is 35, could it be the age gap?

Answer 1

There could be alot of reasons. You said that you 'tried' on your honeymoon, but it didn't happen. So I'm assuming you mean he was physically unable. It could be that once he realized he was having a problem, he became scared that something was wrong and now he's afraid to try again.

There could be a physical problem such as enlarged prostate that is causing this to happen. But he'd have to go to a doctor to determine that. Somehow you need to convince him to see a doctor. If the doctor can't find a physical problem, then they'd probably recommend he see a therapist for some counseling.

Maybe try explaining to your husband that you are worried about him, that you think it could be a medical problem, such as prostate. Tell him that the stress of worrying about it is getting to you and it might start affecting your health.

Tell him that no matter what the problem ends up being, you're there for him. That it's better to know what's going on than to have to constantly worry about it. I guess he if totally refuses to do anything, you can tell him that you're going to go seek counseling by yourself. He's probably just afraid to go to the doctor and admit he has a problem. But if he sees that you're willing to go and talk about it to someone, it might give him the courage to go.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Use birth control and make a point to tell him you are using it. If that doesn't work counseling is about the only alternative I can think of. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in such an un-loveing un-natural environment? There are many nice, loving men in the world this guy might just be better to have as a friend.