I have a friend whom I've known for many years- basically, we're very close and have been through A LOT together. However, this friend has always had an intense desire to be popular (ever since high school) and would practically give anything to be the centre of attention. What bothers me most, is the fact that despite so many years of being close friends, I seem to be the last person she cares about. If she's hosting a party that everybody has known about for weeks, I'm the girl she calls the night beforehand to let me know about it. At social occasions, she makes a point of spending time talking to everybody, yet can't spare five minutes with me. It frustrates me that our friendship means so little to her, and that she'd be willing to put people whom she's known for ten minutes before me. It's not that I expect her to be attached at the hip with me, I just wish she'd try to make more of an effort to care about me as much as I care about her. What do I do to solve this problem?
2007-02-01 20:40:29 · 8 answers · asked by jemm4president 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
1. forget her
2007-02-01 23:07:22 · answer #1 · answered by prabhakar_ace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, may-be your feelings for each other are not very reciprocal. It's obvious that she takes you for granted and is the one who is is leading in yr relationship. You are just being led.
Now what u should do? Very Simple:
Do exactly what she is doing: Start ignoring her, and giving her less importance. You will see, this will get her really troubled, and she will start giving you more consideration. You must build up an emotional grip on her. But do not release the hold at the first positive response. Let her miss you a lot before you give her a chance. After all, you have your own life to live. So, don't be too affected by her. So, stand up, and go for your own life! Cheers!
Hey, keep me informed about any improvements (Which I'm sure there will be!)
Kevin.
2007-02-01 20:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by Happy Dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a problem. It's only a situation that you need to accept.
You can only accept her for who she is. There is nothing you can do, say or feel that would change that. There is not much you can do with her actions towards you and your friendship except to express how you feel. It is, then, up to her to either give you or keep denying you the attention that you seek from her.
Friendships are formed and based on shared experiences. Not expectations. There are no rules to friendship regarding how much attention or affection you should give and receive from your friends. There are expectations, however. It is only your expectation, not your friendship that is not being met. You can never get rid of the shared experiences that you have, but you can get rid of the expectations that you have with her.
You can only do this if you accept her for who she is and accept the situation of your friendship. Otherwise, you have to ask yourself if this friendship that you have is still serving your purpose.
If the friendship is only bringing you pain, then let it go.
If the pain is only brought on by your expectations, then let your expectations go.
Either way, the result will be your freedom from pain, with or without her.
Friendship cannot exist where there is no self-respect.
2007-02-01 21:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by Nocturne_in_G_Major 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes always wanted to be popular - now she has her chance, but the only way she can do trhat is by being who they want her to be. happened to my ex and we split because of it - in the end its natural. your not close anymore and slowly your drifting apart - you obviously valued her friendship more than she valued yours.
maybe you need to remind her what she's doing - go get a new best friend and show her your not always available for her. maybe that will help
then again it could make it worse if she really is in need of your help
2007-02-01 20:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by morderwarg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its neithers problem...she must be thinking that you are her friend and you will be always there for her and so she takes you for granted...she might be thinking that you must be having fun your other friends...and for the party part that you say you are the last one to be called she might be thinking that you are such a good friend of hers so she can call you later as she can never forget you
as per the problem you are facing,you should talk to her about it as she might not be thinking that she is ignoring you...its just the interaction problem..you people should talk and solve it out
2007-02-01 20:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by Shruti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a problem that you can really solve. It's her problem. She's just basically extremely self-centered.
If it's bothering you that much, it's time to dump her as a friend.
2007-02-01 20:44:34 · answer #6 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communicate your feelings with her! Either you will kiss and make up, or realize she is a selfish bytch!
2007-02-01 20:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Lady D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new friend
2007-02-01 20:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by The_Answerer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋