I have been with my boyfriend for only about 4 months, but I feel like I'm suffocating in the relationship. I love him as a friend and a companion, but when it comes to sex, my mind is a million miles away (if there's a solution to this problem, I would love to know it). I really can't tell him because he's sensitive and I would never want to hurt his feelings. The other day, I brought up the option of an open relationship because I really don't want to break up with him for many reasons. He agreed to it because for some reason he'll do anything just to be with me. Is this even a good idea, or would I be best advised to just call the whole thing off and hope we can still be friends?
2007-02-01 18:04:29 · 14 answers · asked by jesuswasshady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
OKAY just for the record everyone, I know it kind of sounded like it when I said open relationship, but I'm not having sex with anyone else and I more than likely won't as long as I'm with this guy. I'm not a slut, I don't have AIDS, etc. whoever said that probably has AIDS. the idea of an open relationship applies to more than sex in my case. my boyfriend gets jealous if I even talk to one of my guy friends he doesn't know personally, so I gave him the option to go out and meet other people which he agreed to and he agreed to give me some space as well. This isn't about me wanting to have sex with a million different people while hanging this poor guy out to dry.
2007-02-01 18:46:15 · update #1
just tell him friends with benefits
2007-02-01 18:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by PD 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If i was you...I would leave this guy, not because he is a bad guy but maybe he is not right for you. You may need some time for your self, just date, or don't date if that's your choice, no relationships. Its OK to do that...When the right guy comes along, you will know. Give your self this break, believe me it worked for me, then one day i met my now husband. To many people now a days think you will just die if you don't have a boyfriend...Heck dating and getting to know other people is fun. The time, or the person your with right now isn't working, time to figure out what YOU truely want and need...
2007-02-02 05:34:20 · answer #2 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don`t get out of this relationship ...... eventually you`ll start to pick arguments with him, you`ll try to do silly things just to annoy him.
Someone will get hurt anyway, and the chances are it`ll be you so you need to do something now.
Life is too short to stay with someone just because you don`t want to hurt them, and no, an open relationship is not the best idea.
I stayed with someone for a very long time just because i didn`t want to hurt them, I now regret that i stayed, get out of that relationship now.
2007-02-02 02:51:08 · answer #3 · answered by Tatty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best bet would be to walk away. If you can't see yourself having sex with this guy and actually enjoying it, and you want to sleep with other guys, you should leave this man.
But you won't know what you have until you lose it!
Think about it - he loves you so much that he's willing to let you sleep with other dudes, as long as he can still be your boyfriend.
How many guys would put up with that?
Not many! (I know I wouldn't!!!)
So you might want to stick with this guy!
Here's a suggestion - if you can afford it, look into sex therapy, so you can get to the point where you would actually enjoy having sex with this guy who loves you so much and would sacrifice so much just to be with you.
If your man is willing to accept an open relationship, I'm sure he'd be down with couples therapy and/or sex therapy!
2007-02-02 02:39:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through a very similar situation right now, except for the fact that I am abstinent. My boyfriend wants to be around me 24/7 and all over me...Most of the time I feel like I can't breathe. He is very sweet, nice and romantic and he makes me feel really special, but he smothers me to no end. Do what you feel in your heart and no matter what please do not lead him on. Let him go so that he can find someone who is for him, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, but he is not trying to let me go. I want him to have the person who is for him, please let him know and let him go.
2007-02-02 03:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by caramel_angelkiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the whole thing off. If you feel that way now, it will only get worse, and you will end up hurting him even more. He"ll get over it and find someone who really loves him. If you care about him you should do this, it is only fair to him and yourself.
2007-02-02 02:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by seven-11 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't hold out any hope of being friends. If he's as attached as you say he is, he'll be a wreck. I'm not usually a "glass-is-half-empty" sort of person, but all is lost. It's for his own good for you to let him go... disappear from his life, at least for a good long while. It's unfortunate, but it's something you should really consider.
2007-02-02 02:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call it off. How do you think he is going to feel knowing that you are sleeping with other people? If you were in love with a guy and he wanted to sleep with other women, how would you feel? Probably like ****. Don't make him go through that.
2007-02-02 02:09:38 · answer #8 · answered by biancajh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're suffocating because you're with a needy little man with ZERO self esteem. you have to seriously wonder about a man who would go along with the open relationship thing. i mean it's great for you, and i personally think noone should be tied down to just one person unless the "love" word is used. but this guy must have very very low self esteem. so dont confuse his obsession with you as love, it's his pathetic nature.
2007-02-02 02:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call it off and just be friends. don't you want a guy with a backbone? Besides it's not fair to him if you feel that way.
2007-02-02 02:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by uuummk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've got serious issues if you HAVE to sleep with someone else....No wonder AIDS is still on the rise!
2007-02-02 02:29:41 · answer #11 · answered by Direktor 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋