2007-02-01 16:25:16 · 26 answers · asked by steelerfan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How do you know this about her? Are you imagining this or is there proof? Anyway, if it is so or not, you need to sit down with her and in a calm manner tell her your concerns and get it off your chest. Maybe she can calm your worries. Married people need to talk things out instead of yelling and accusing all the time. Some married people I know are afraid to be themselves with their own spouses. It's like they are cordial to each other and never get the real feelings out. Just talk it out.
2007-02-01 16:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Another... as in someone obtainable (ie- a co-worker, a neighbor, an ex), or unobtainable (ie- a movie star or recording artist)? While both are quite damaging to your relationship, the latter is not as pressing a matter. If this is the case, you and your wife need to have a frank but gentle talk about her obsession-- ask her to get rid of any pictures, songs, or paraphenalia that she has relating to this person. Remind her how much you love her and how hurt you are that she's obsessed with someone else.
If the person in question is someone she actually has contact with, you need to take immediate action if you want to save your marriage. Again, a frank talk is needed. Your question seems to indicate that she doesn't know that you know about her obsession. You need to come clean, and so does she. Honesty is the greatest quality you can have in a marriage, even if it hurts. If the problem is so bad that you can't manage it on your own, you may need to see a marriage counselor. Time-consuming, I know, but ultimately beneficial.
Remember when you are talking with her to remain calm and non-judgemental. Fighting about it will only make it worse. And always, always, always remind her that even though she is making a mistake-- as we all do from time to time-- she is still your wife and you love her very much.
2007-02-02 00:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by janeowyn180 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take a time to ponder on it why she could be possibly obssessed with someone else, or if it's really true. Ask yourself what you would like to happen if it's true. Whether or not, you can still accept her, or not.
Then try to find the perfect time to bring up the topic to her.. And try to ask her what is it she's dealing with. Just be emotionally ready on whatever you'll hear. If she confirms it, ask her, what she wants to happen after that admission. The line will be open, so you can talk and agree. Your decision shall depend on the outcome of your conversation. And you should consider both sides before making a decision.
As much as possible, the purpose are to clear things out, discover if ever there has been a problem on your part, or her part.. Discover if these problems are workable or not.
2007-02-02 03:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by naive 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she secrectly obsesses, how do you know about it?
If she isnt doing anything physical about it, I dont see what the problem is. She is still married to you and obviously loves you and continues to stay in it. Right?
Dont most people have a person, they still think about, and have some feeling for?
I love my husband, and think he is hot (after 16 years, I might add), but there are guys out there I really dig.
Trust me, he has girls out there he really digs too.
Dont need to divorce over it... Unless you left out some very important information???
2007-02-02 00:30:39 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You gotta decide for yourself, can you deal with it?...Does she act upon her fantasy?....my advice if it makes you feel bad than it isn't working for you clearly...maybe you need to try to get help or just let her go obsess alone...good luck.
2007-02-02 00:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't you watched The Grudge? Let her catch you with the diary or whatever you found implicating her, and do that.
2007-02-02 04:21:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's a crush that will pass. Or, dig up some dirt on him and tell her about it, and she may lose interest. Women are fickle.
2007-02-02 00:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by martin h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure "the other" isn't available for her.Won't stop the obsessing only she can stop it.
2007-02-02 00:27:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her how you feel about the fact that she obsesses
with someone else that not good for your marriage, and she need
to deal with what going on. it total disrespect to you and she need
to know that. other wise it time to move on.
2007-02-02 00:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage counseling
2007-02-02 00:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋