Ladies really need some help right now I am super bummed out right now.?

Question

Apparently I am the area's psychologist and everyone comes to me with their problems, concerns and what not. Well a good bit of my friends know that me and my df are having a relatively hard time conceiving. I just got a message from a girl who just took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive, she is stressing out but very happy about it, she says she planned it and everything but neither her or her boyfriend have jobs, she doesn't have a steady home, and he is the town delinquent always getting arrested and in trouble.

I am so bummed out by this news because then there is me who has all the means necessary to raise another child ( I have a 14 month old little boy) and I am the one with fertility issues and am having a hard time conceiving. I feel like this is so unfair. I mean I am happy for her and all but a tiny bit of me does indeed envy her for becoming pregnant. I just keep asking myself why isn't that me? Please don't say that I am being selfish because

I am not. I am a normal human being who is longing for the opportunity to experience the miracle of birth. I don't know why I let this get me down. I mean I am sitting here in tears right now because this news just makes me feel like losing hope.

Why is it the people who can't afford to have children can get pregnant at the drop of a dime but worthy parents who have all the means necessary to have a child are the ones who have such hard times??

**** KIND WORDS ONLY PLEASE, I DON'T NEED ANY NEGATIVITY RIGHT NOW PLEASE RESPECT THAT *****

OK I SAID THAT I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR THE BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH, IF I WAS TOLD I HAD TO HAVE A HYSTERECTOMY TOMORROW I WOULD BE OK WITH IT BECAUSE I DO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY, DON'T PUT ME DOWN BECAUSE OF HOW I FEEL, I AM ENTITLED TO MY OWN FEELINGS ON THINGS.
THE ONE GIRL SAID "WHO ARE YOU TO SAY WHO SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T HAVE KIDS" WELL OBVIOUSLY I DON'T HAVE A SAY SO IN WHO HAS KIDS AND WHO DOESN'T BECAUSE IF THAT WAS TRUE MORE OF THE DESERVING PEOPLE WOULD HAVE THE KIDS THEY LONG FOR. DON'T SIT THERE AND TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD WHEN I AM ALREADY UPSET AS IT IS, MY GOD BE A LITTLE SYMPATHETIC INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL WORSE.

Answer 1

Yeah, it is very hard. My hubby and I have tried for 4 years of marriage and though many will frown 2 years of being engaged. We would see so many people who was always in and out of jail and both of them didn't even have a job. It's easy to do, especially when you try for so long. It must be even harder for you because you have a 14 month and feel like you shouldn't be having this much of a problem. For us we had basically become used to the notion of never being able to concieve by our own means. So we opted for adoption. We were getting ready to adopt. Well, we finally were able to get pregnant and my doctor diagnosed me with hypothyroidism right before. So anyway we did not adopt, but plan to when our child is a little older. They checked me for everything and did not check me for this until we really started trying. Even our fertility specialist didn't check us. Well, anyway, after getting on medicine I lost 50 pounds, and we had quit smoking and drinking since I've been trying to get pregnant. I think sometimes for us it seems like they take their children for granted. Not that most do, but it is human nature I guess. If it is selfish, I guess I was one of them. I really hope things turn out better for you. I hope you are able to have the child you want.

13 weeks and 5 days pregnant

Answer 2

I feel what you mean. I was a public school teacher and it often pained me to see the conditions in which some of my students were being raised. I was blessed with my own baby only this year and I am so happy to have one, but really looking forward to another and I have often thought the second may be difficult as I am already 35. The only thing I think to myself is that I would turn all that extra love out into world and either adopt a child or look for children's groups to assist with...and maybe consider that the path God laid for me was down that road instead of having another child.

BTW, you are not selfish, only human. It seems people in your community admire and respect you and perhaps you can make a difference in the lives of children there, maybe even the one this young girl is about to have. Good luck in whichever direction your path leads.

Answer 3

I am sympathetic for you- it does seem that way ! YHave you seen a doctor? About the fertility issue? Sometimes trying to hard has the opposite effect, so maybe you need to relax and not try so hard! How old is this other girl, you say her bf is the town delinquent so is she under 18? Maybe she would let you adopt if you find out that you can't get pregnant? Are you sure she isn't just making it up to **** you off cause she knows your trying to have a baby?? I would ask her to see the test!! I don't think your being selfish, but aslo you need to be happy that you do have your 14 month old! God works in mysterious ways so they say- maybe He thinks you should wait till you little one is a bit older before He sends you another one?? I know that sounds stupid but I am trying to make you feel better! I probably failed-but at least I am trying! Sorry!

Answer 4

I suffered from fertility problems and it took me 4 years to get pregnant (i am now pregnant with my first due in just under 4 weeks). Having gone through years of infertility and various treatments i know how you feel.

There were times that i saw people that i knew that could barely support the 3 kids they already had, get pregnant and i too thought why them and not me. The thing you have made me realise is that i might revisit those feelings if i cannot have another one when i thought they were behind me. i dont think you are being selfish and the person that made the critical comment has not walked a mile in your shoes.

Best of luck to you - I am sure it will happen for you as it did for me and congratulations on having your little boy - i am sure you realise that he is a blessing and your second will be too. I find that having had to overcome fertility issues i have appreciated the pregnancy so much more...............although am so over peeing every 5 minutes i cant wait for him to come out.

I still feel so much for those still trying to get pregnant and only hope that my baby is born healthy.

Answer 5

I'm not a lady but I do feel your pain. My son and daughter-in-law tried for almost a year and then they got pregnant. We were all estatic and all was going well until she miscarried. Of course everyone was devastated. But within six months she "accidently" got pregnant after they had decided to stop trying so hard. I guess the point is that it will happen when it's supposed to. I wonder about the first baby. How much fun it would have been, who it would have looked like, what sex it would have been, etc... But the "surprise" baby is just over six now and she is an absolute joy. We nearly lost her too and her mom had to stay in bed for six months so she wouldn't lose the baby. Isabelle plays piano and writes music, she is reading with the sixth grade class in her school, she's amazing. She squeals and runs to me screaming "Poppie" whenever I visit. It's an amazing feeling! And now her baby sister Madelynn is just over one year old. I was able to be in the delivery room when she was born and that single experience changed my life. She's very different from her sister and her little personality is starting to develop.
The point of all this is it will happen when it's time. If you worry about it and try too hard you stress your body physically and emotionally. When you are under stress your body attempts to protect itself and the liklihood you'll conceive is lower. I know it's easy for me to say... but try to relax. Just enjoy your little one and your husband. Have fun and keep "practicing" without working at it and it will happen at the right time.

Answer 6

Now everyone can cure infertility using this natural remedy http://pregnancyhelps.info
infertility can run in the family and one of the first things the doctor asks you when you go to a fertility clinic is your family history regarding cases of infertility or other reproductive issues.
If infertility is caused by genetic disorder then it's not unusual that one of the kids (your mom) doesn't have it and another does (your aunt).
two months of trying is still to early to be concerned about the fact that you might be infertile and it's also quite early to go to a fertility specialist. Go to a regular Obgyb to get a closer insight and see what ways there are are to improve your fertility rate.
Also remove alcohol, caffeine and cigarettes from your life because they might influence your chances too. Stress is also a risk factor when it comes to infertility.

Answer 7

The weather channel girl with her perfect weather curl
Is talking "Cold, cold, cold"
You can't get out of bed
You can't remember what you've said
You're feeling old, old, old

Is it a fever or depression, anger or aggression
What's the remedy?
We're not talking rocket science
The answer to your question's
Very plain to see

(Chorus)
You need a holiday, take a holiday
Find a far-off wonderland
Where you might regain command of your life today
Take a holiday, you need a holiday
Grab a pack and hit the trail
Take a sail and wind up in some moonlit bay

You're caught in the Internet
You think it's such a great asset
You're wrong , wrong, wrong
All that fiber optic gear
Still cannot take away the fear
Like and island song

Disregard confession, stop trying to make impressions
On your corporate climb
It might come as quite a shock
But you can't really own that rock
It's just a waste of time.

So, take a holiday, take a holiday
Find a place to find yourself
Take your life sown off that shelf
Quit acting so blase
Take a holiday, you need a holiday
grab a pack and hit the trail
Take a sail and wind on some moonlit bay

Well, it's only up to you, no one else can teach you to
Go out and have some fun
Though, if you want to stay alive
Evade the big nose dive
Be a comedian

And take a holiday, you need a holiday
Find a far-off wonderland
Where you might regain command of your life today
Take a holiday, you need a holiday
Grab a pack and hit the trail
Take a sail and wind up in some moonlit bay

You need a holiday, take a holiday
Find a place to find yourself
Take your life down off that shelf
Quit acting so blase
Take a holiday, you need a holiday
Grab a pack and hit the trail
Take a sail and wind up in some moonlit bay

Answer 8

I can't really say anything except that what you are feeling is normal, and you will be able to deal with it in time. I wish you luck in conceiving, and I'm glad that you are happy with the one child that you already have, so concentrate on him, and know that although you can keep trying to get pregnant, you can't "make yourself" pregnant, so try to find a way to just accept it in your heart and have patience. And know that you are already very blessed with what you have, and that there are others who are not so fortunate to have any kids, or a good man in their life to help them raise their kids! Good luck and god bless. Don't let these rude people get you down, just put a thumbs down on their answer so you don't have to see it again, and look for the people who know what they are talking about!!

Answer 9

Everything in life happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that. Technically it's not unfair, it's just life and everything is not always going to work out the way you want it too but you cant let others bring you down. You are not being selfish but you should never compare yourself with anyone else just because they are pregnant and you aren't. Your time will come again, just keep your head up and be happy that you have everything you do and you know that you are a good mother. Good Luck.....

Answer 10

I don't think you are being selfish at all. I think it is very common for women who cannot conceive to feel jealous of ones who don't even need kids...getting pregnant so easily. I don't know how you can feel better about the situation but just know you are not selfish and are not crazy. I will pray that you become pregnant and have another little one.... but if you don't, you can always adopt a baby who desperately needs a loving family. Try to keep your head up and feel blessed you have at least 1.. :)