i am 22 male married guy i've been married since 6 month i have we moved to L.A new i only have one friend here and my wife she never met him i only seen him 2 times.
now i finish work late so if i want to go out i will go out at 9 pm but me and my wife always we fight so much because of this she dont want me to go out at all and i feel im living in a jail...
i tried to talk to her and i just cant understand her because everytime i try to talk to her she start screaming and when i scream she says i want to fight and when i dont scream she says im cold and i dont care.
i want her to understand that i need my own time too how i can explain to her when i tried alot before and my marrige is being a hell because of this.
2007-02-01 15:53:14 · 34 answers · asked by whatshurtthemost 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well gee, you work late then you want to go hang out with your friends? Where is the time for her? and don't say well i'll be back by 9 cuz by that time your tired and want to go to bed, if you want to go out then take her with you and this should not be a problem unless your doing something stupid, and if she does not want to go then stay with her, you've only been married a few months this is supposed to be your time together as a married couple, your not single anymore, time to act like it!
2007-02-01 16:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by sarah 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You where not ready to get married.It is not normal for a married man to be going out with a single guy.It sounds like you where way to imature to be getting married.She is telling you her needs and all your thinking about is your own.That must be very hurtful to her.You should know by now that anger comes from hurt so if she is yelling at you it's because she is realy realy hurt.I will be honset if I was with someone that wanted to go out with a single I would have to tell you to go until your ready for marriage.It takes two to make it and two to break it.You are going to loose her! A person can only take so much! No one can give you what they don't need! I am telling you from experience.If she does not get what she needs she will find it somewhere else.Everytime you do this it is takeing a piece of her heart.Sooner or later she will no longer have that heart for you.If your are needing to be away from her and go out then in fairness you need to get a divorce and let her go so she can find what she thought she had with you.The way you where when you first met is the way you should always be.If not then it was a lie and it's time to move on.Let her find a man that will give her wants and needs.It's either time to grow up or say goodbye.If you are going to have friends then it should be with a married couple that likes to do the same things yall do.Then she can do what girls do and you guys can go play pool or do what the guys do.Then she won't feel so isolated and alone.Keep going the way you are now she will divorce you or maby cheat on you with somone that gives her what she needs!!!
Good Luck!!!
p.s.I know I mispelled some words but the check spelling isn't working.
2007-02-01 17:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is treating her new husband like a possession. It takes two balanced, grown adults to make a marriage...She needs friends and so do you and everything has to be kept in balance. If this were reversed, and you were trying to control all her time the same way, you would be wrong...and a lot of men try to do that.
The problem is that you never talked this out before you were married...you probably spent all your spare time with her and now she expects that to stay that way which is not realistic.
She sounds pretty immature to me...evidently screaming got her her way.....you are going to have to learn how to handle this in a mature way....one is to tell her when she screams what you are going to do....because just letting her scream her way out of it will solve nothing.
So very calmly you tell her the next time she screams the discussion has ended until she can talk with you reasonably...and when you spend time with your friends...let her know when you will be home....be reasonable, but don't give in. Yelling back and getting into a fight is really what she is trying to get you to do.
And tell her, if she wants to go shopping, or go with a friend to lunch, etc....that will be fine with you too.
A new marriage often has some things like this to work out.
You are married...so she has a right to expect you not to stay out all nite....but you have a right to some free time on your own.
Working it out so you are both happy is called marriage! And you also need to find some friends you can enjoy spending time with together....but everyone has to have some personal "space".
2007-02-08 16:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The company you keep says something about you. And now that you're married, you are part of a team. How would you feel if your wife started hanging out with a bunch of single woman? Single woman and men look for other singles--if you are with a group of singles, it is assumed that you are single or looking for trouble. If you value your marriage, you need to try to respect it. You are young, but that is not an excuse for misbehavior. You were old enough to get married, so you have to grow up. My husband and I got married at 20 and we went through the same thing. We are still together by the grace of my heavenly father eighteen years later.
2007-02-09 05:47:52 · answer #4 · answered by HeIsMyAllinAll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with bringing your wife along, surely your not doing anything that is questionable, are you. If your buddies are not that thrilled with her coming along then I suggest you find some other friends or divorce will bare it's ugly head. Take her out once in a while she may either enjoy herself (better for you later on that night) or she may just become bored ( staying home is more exciting to her).
If you love your wife you will spend more time and more quality time with her than your friends, you are married. Make sure all her needs are met and try to meet people together. When she finds a friend to chum around with she might not be so much against you going out by yourself.
Take her out and have fun, friends will come and go but to make marriage work your spouse has to come first.
2007-02-01 16:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by trojan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
L.A. is a fun place to be. If she is a stay at home wife and have no car to drive around, that is not fun at all. She will miss out a lot of fun time. You should take her out and introduce your friend to her. If she has her own car and she works, then she should do the same as you. You should suggest her to meet new friends so that she could hang out with new her friends. And take her coworker out some nights. I think that is fair. Well being lonely is not fun at all. Being pregnant with no car and no job and depending on a man is not fun at all. Screaming is not the answer, you should wait until she cools down , then approach her and then compromise with her.
2007-02-08 17:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by myart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship for 7 yrs. I was 30 and my ex-husband was 31, when we decided to get married. We only last 6 months, because he started going out with his friend every weekend something that I wasn't going to put up with. We would argue every weekend, so I got tired of his s***, and left him, now we are divorce, and 3 yrs later he is looking for me telling me he has change that he is more mature , but ofcourse I will not take him back. Now I finish my career , I bought my house,I have a nice job & car, and I love being single.
Just remember that now your priority is your wife, Why did you married her, because you wanted to be with here right.
So my advise to you is to make your wife happy , because samething that happened to my ex, could happen to you.
2007-02-09 11:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by sexy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off 22 is WAY too young to be married. Everyone needs their time away from their spouses, and time with their friends. Doesnt she have any friends she can go out with? SOunds like she is very insecure in the relationship, and possibly thinking that you are going to cheat on her when you are out with the boys. (especially if u have cheated in the past) If you havent cheated and dont plan on cheating, then explain to her that you should be able to go out with your friend for a few beers, play pool, whatever, and that you love her and will always come home to her. (make her feel needed, loved, appreciated and SECURE in the relationship). Take her out with u and ur friend one night and show her what you 2 do. (drink beer, talk, play pool etc) Good Luck!
2007-02-08 04:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by Renee D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds insecure and afraid you are going to go behind her back and find someone else. Why don't you ask her if she would like to go with you a few times so she can see what you are doing. I do think it is wrong for a married person to go into bars with their single friends due to the fact there is so much temptation out there and when you drink you do not think clearly. It is very healthy to be able to hang out with your friends and have fun like just the guys having a few beers watching football or enjoying a game of pool. She is not your Mother.
2007-02-01 17:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you both just moved to L.A so your wife is in the same boat as yourself (lack of friends) AND since your wife has not met this person and you didn't invite her out or even to meet this person, i can understand her being upset. 1st she should be your best friend and you should get mutual friends then when she gets more active with her friends then you can get more active with your friends (it's healthy to do things together as well as apart) BUT always make sure you do things together and make her feel she's very important to you. if she knows that she's important to you and you include her the yelling and fighting will most likely stop. my BF always speaks to me in a low tone never yells ,not cold just sincere and it always calms me down so i stop yelling. just remember you married her so she should be your # 1 priority. good luck
2007-02-01 16:34:49 · answer #10 · answered by cher 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋