custody question?

Question

okay so me and my wife just filed for divorce and since we split she made me move out of our house into a apartment. i went home to pick up my stuff so i could bring it back to my apartment and my wife had left and made my 5 yr old son and 4mnth old daughter wait on the porch with a box of my clothes. Is there anyway i can bring her to court on these charges and get full custody of my kids and my house and stuff back? we got the divorce becuase she cheated on me with my bestfriend for 3 years. I own a masnory company and while she has no job. she never takes care of our kids when i picked up my 4mnth old she had went to the bathroom all over herself and it was leaking out of her diper. she also has sex infront of the kids. i thought we were going to be able to work it out but apparntly not.
are these good enough reasons to get full custody and my house?

Answer 1

Oh boy - let me talk to your wife!!! I am a woman, and I realize that often women are the ones who get custody, but I think you rightly deserve custody. She sounds like a...well, I'll not say it.

First of all, why did she make YOU move out? She did the cheating - let HER leave. Do you still have the key? If so, go back there and move back in. Unless the house is in her name only, you have just as much right to be there as she does. If she doesn't like it, then SHE can leave. She had no right to put your clothes in boxes and then stick them on the front porch where someone could steal them.

For another thing, if she was gone and left your 5 year-old son and 4 month old daughter alone, ON the porch outside, where someone could kidnap them, we are talking child neglect and abandonment here. I would call CPS immediately and file a report. That ALONE is grounds for you getting full custody. Then you are talking also about her neglecting the physical needs of the kids. Let's see: she has no job, she lacks moral character, she neglects and abandons the children and puts them in danger (child endangerment). Yep, I'd say you have a good case for full custody. I would get a lawyer, and fast. She can get one for free if she has no job (they are out there - she could go to the courthouse and ask for a referral to one). Tell them everything. Do not do this alone because much as you have a valid case, statistically, courts do tend to see things from the woman's perspective. If you are documenting things, she could concoct lies and present it as fact, and you could end up paying alimony, as well as child support to a woman who kicked you out of YOUR house, neglected YOUR children, and slept with YOUR best "friend". Get an attorney quick, man. You will win. You just have to act now. As for your best "friend", what kind of friend does that? I hope you are no longer speaking to this loser.

Best wishes to you. I am also divorced. I have full custody of my kids, but because MY ex was abusive. I have fought the battle you are about to embark on. You will be fine. You will. Hang in there, and stay strong. You sound like a great Dad.

Answer 2

Custody yes - the house maybe. Custody will be determined on what is in "the best interests of the children." You need to make sure you have good witnesses, good evidence of the lack of care she gives the children. If you can get the guy she had sex with in front of the kids to testify - even better! When you pick up the kids - bring someone along to testify later about the condition of the children. Make sure you get a custody study done by a professional who will also tell the judge what they thing. Those are young kids who most likely would stay with the mother if she has been a stay at home mom. But if you can make the judge uncomfortable with how she is taking care of them you could get custody.

As for the house - in most divorces the parties have to sell the house because neither can afford to buy out the other party's 1/2 interest. If, however, you can afford to pay her for her share, you can argue that it is best for the kids to stay in the same house they have always lived in and if you have custody you will stay there too.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You probably can't prevent him from getting custody. The court is likely to award primary custody to your husband because you are the bread-winner. It will at least be 50-50 custody between the two of you, and maintaining contact with both parents is what is healthy for the child. I don't think that you can leave and take the child with you, but I also doubt that any court will do anything about that because you are a woman. If he left with the child that would be considered kidnapping. If you are serious about divorce and your relationship isn't reconcilable, you need to talk to an attorney and get the process started correctly and you can find out what is really at stake. Laws vary from state to state and a consultation with a lawyer will explain most of this to you. It sounds like your husband needs to get a job. It's strange how you know your husband's "plan." Did he tell you this or did you overhear it?

Answer 4

Those are good enough reasons to get full custody and your house. SEEK LEGAL HELP IMMEDIATELY! Each state has different laws surrounding custody matters. Get a lawyer. Most states will appoint a guardian ad litem to seek out the best interest of the kids. This person will talk to you and your wife concerning your kids. File a petition at your local Juvenile and Domestic Relations or Family Court to seek sole and physical custody. As far as your wife goes, make sure you document everything she does. Have a calendar where you can write in everything that has happened word for word on the correct date and document time. It will be similar to keeping a journal except this is for any thing she has done. You can use this in court in your favor. Let the journal speak for itself. Focus on showing the Guardian and the Judge you are the fit parent. Allow her actions to speak for themselves. Don't even focus on her. You allow your lawyer to do the slander. And speak in a neutral tone in your journal without sounding like you are bashing her. REMEMBER LET HER ACTIONS DO THE TALKING. Do not let her know you are doing this. As far as the house, you need to check your state laws to see how property is handled in a situation like this.

Answer 5

The fact that she cheated won't get you anywhere in court....it doesn't count toward custody. (yes I realize this might not seem right to you, but it's the way it is in the law). What you have to do is prove her an unfit mother. Get a journal and start making dated notes IMMEDIATELY. Try to get affidavits from neighbors that might have witnessed her poor parenting skills. HIre a private detective to get pictures of her on her escapades in front of the kids. Be very vigilant....get a good attorney and fight like hell. That woman has no right having those kids after reading what you wrote. Stay in constant contact with the kids (daily) to make sure they aren't left alone....if they are, call child services and the police immediately...the more you have on record the better.

Answer 6

I feel your pain. You need a good divorce lawyer, then take a paternity test. If she has been cheating on you all this time, chances are that you might not have fathered her children. Get as much evidence as you can, pictures, medical reports, etc. of your wife abusing the kids. Stick to the facts, and leave the jealousy out of it. Her lack of morals does not necessarily make her a bad mother in the eyes of the law. Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes, but you should have called the police when you found the kids on the porch, that would have made it an open and shut case. But you may still be able to get her see a lawyer a good one it is worth the money or you will be screwed worse than you could ever imagine.

Answer 8

Please report your wife to child protective services immediately. Leaving these children outside alone for you to pick them up was horrible. Those poor babies. My heart just breaks thinking about that. They need you. Go see an attorney ASAP so that they can tell you what is the best way of getting your children away from her and you staying in the house with them. Get all of the proof of her infidelity as well. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

I don't even know why you are asking this question now. why didn't you called the police right away. i can not immagine a 4 momth old baby left alone and you as a father did not do any thing. something wrong here.

Answer 10

get yourself an attorney and bring these things up. Let your attorney know that you are concerned for the saftey and welfare of your children. And if you have witnesses to back you up its even better for you. I used to work for an attorney and handled alot of cases like this. Good Luck