Who is the circus monkey that sold us a bag of goods that we have to "be married" to have a wife ?
I notice countless people who were so happy together, then once married , WHAM, out the window it went. Im sure many of you will criticize this and say "god" wants you to marry, well let me ask you something, when did you and god talk about this??? only god cares about is that you do good on earth.
If marriage is so "great" why are so many people divorcing ?
Truth is, marriage puts a lot of pressure on both parties involved. When you see your gal a few days a week, then you see her everyday, it changes. If someone denies this they are wrong. Imagine living with a college dorm buddy your whole life?? you're bound to eventually not get along right??
regards,
2007-02-01 15:03:05 · 7 answers · asked by godzillasagoodman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think issues arise when people get married just to be in compliance with society expectations and/or traditions. When couples are looking to improve or add something new I guess they turn to 'lets get married' I think people are too quick to want to label themselves as a married couple. but its not always true that after marriage couples fall apart and are less happy. I believe that happens when two fools rush into marriage and they are either not ready for a commitment or just didn't know each other as well as they think they do. Not well enough to be able to spend life and live life-which is full of hardship and challenges- together with each other in a partnership. If they are truly compatible there is no reason the marriage shouldn't work. Of course sometimes we all need a vacation for everyone around us and thats what should be done to keep ones sanity and the relationship!
2007-02-01 20:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be surprised to know that there are married couples out there who are actually happy and enjoy each other's company. A relationship with a spouse is a lot different than a relationship with a roommate - if the marriage is successful, that is... if not, that's a pretty sad marriage.
Of course marriage puts pressure on both parties - it's a commitment, and commitments usually require some effort on your part. You get out what you put in - the more attention you pay to your marriage, the better the results.
I've been married almost 11 years - no, they haven't all been wonderful. But we've worked damn hard to get our relationship to where it is now, we're getting along great, and neither of us would even think of giving up.
2007-02-01 15:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i have seen this BUT it is not always the case with every couple... Marriage is what you make of it and you can choose to get along with each other or not... Life and marriage is all about choices. My husband and i get along alot better and are alot closer now years later then when we we just dating. People are divorcing because they marry for the wrong reasons and dont stick marriage out for better or for worse because they choose not to work on it and make it better... They want an easy way out and will find any way to do it... You can choose to get along or not get along with someone... I have learned to love my husband where he is at and to treat and love him the way that i would want him to treat and love me... Not all marriages are bad and ending in divorce... Guess what God is to be the center of the marriage. Why dont you talk to people that are actually happy in their marriage and are working on it every day.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-01 15:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, marriage does cause more pressure, but it also causes both women and men to take thier partner for granted. Like you said, being with someone everyday is not that same as just seeing them a few days a week. Rather than looking at the "downside" or allowing the everyday interaction cause you to be bored, take one or two minutes everyday to watch your spouse and admire them. They could be doing something as simple as dishes, watching TV and remind yourself why you fell in Love and made the commitment of marriage. We as humans are selfish and only concerned with our own happiness...which is why we justify divorce (not that that is why all relationships end in divorce); but it is our responsibility to keep our relationships fresh---
Another important aspect, if children are involved, make sure you 2 have at least one night out a month, just for the 2 of you. Those times when you can't get out, do something that seems stupid or immature (a little note on the mirror, flowers, etc...all those things we "grow out of" or the "flirty" things)---she's more than likely going to be surprised, in turn you will get a positive reaction from her....which eventially turns into a happier surrounding when you are together everyday.
It is also important not to lose yourself! Keep your identity. If you like to fish---then fish---don't give it up. Once in a while, if she's interested, take her...but not all the time. Remember to give her time to do what she likes as well---day at the spa, etc. Keeping your identies is important, after all, that is what each of you fell in love with....
Besides, women are constantly looking for "validation" from men. Do a little "ego stroking"....it will get you far, and it won't be needed all the time-but just "validate" that she's yours, you are happy with "such & such" that she does. The list is actually endless where little compliments can come in to play. And don't forget to be respectful.
Hope this helps a little...
2007-02-01 15:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by Army chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ask myself this same question. I've been married for 10 years though and it has been a struggle in so many ways.
Marriage needs to be redefined or at least some rules changed or removed. To be with someone forever sometimes sounds like a life sentence.
2007-02-01 15:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is what the two people make it.
If you go into it with no clue how to be happy....that's what you'll get.
Marriage just like everything else in life it's successful if you want it to be.
2007-02-01 15:09:31 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
many people are divorcing, because when they come to problem they don't work on it they just bail out. if people would put as much effort into impressing each other and worrying about the relationship as they did when they were dating, the marriage would last.
2007-02-01 15:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by ladybug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋