A Gay Situation?

Question

I am a 25 yearold "closet case" male. A male friend of mine has a gay brother who fancied me a long time ago, nothing happened from it. The other brother - (My mate) - has always claimed to be straight until recently, when he sent me a message after a few drinks, saying he wanted to spend time with me. I laughed it off, and we just carried on as normal. a couple of weeks after the text message, I recieved another text, asking to meet up with me one night, and I did. He confessed to me that he was gay, but could never come out, and said that he fancied me. We ended up going to a hotel and having the most passionate sex ever. The thing is, is that I am starting to fall for him, and I know that he wont come out the closet, but I cant stop thinking about the 2 times we have had it off in the hotel. On both occasions, we have both had a bit to drink, but not totally drunk. He told me during the second time that I do so much for him, and this has been eating away at me. What do I do now?

I have two parts to the replies from everyone - please read this part, and then the next ....

First of all, thank you to all of you for your replies - it does help to talk here. In answer to some points raised within all your replies, Its a strange situation in a way, because I had met him through work - I am a full time DJ, and he always comes down to the venue with his circle of mates when I am playing out. Its good in a way, because when he walks into the room, we look at each other, and the sparks fly. With my situation, he was the first one to let me know that he had "feelings" for me. We would have gone back to either houses, but because family dont know, we can only go to a hotel. Also, when we have been doing it, he is the one that definately leads, as I am a little nervous still. He was the one that also initiated anal sex, but i obviously obliged. Its also the closeness when we just lay in bed - we make love and he is totally comfortable ....

Part two ...

and is really loving towards me during this. It feels so right, but it is such a shame that he feels he cant come out because of the turmoil his family put his brother through when he came out. It also gets to me that we dont see each other much during the week - normally just weekend nights. The other important point I would like to add, is that his circle of friends are very shallow and narrow-minded, in the sense that he all call him a "Closet Case" or a "Rammer" behind his back, and although he knows this, and a lot of people think he is gay, he still sticks with these people for fear of losing them or having no friends. I have notied that he is always on edge around these people when I have been around him and them at the same time ...

Part Three ...

Each time we make love, it is more passionate, but i have difficulty in climaxing, because in the back of my mind I know that when we leave the hotel room, the feelings and emotions have to be surpressed, and i never know when we are going to do it again. I hope he will tell me that we are going to make something of it. The other massive givaway is that he is always hanging around girls, and i feel he does this to prevent any suspicions from his so-called mates.

Answer 1

Well, if you are a closeted homosexual, how can you expect him to come out. I think all gay men go through a period when they say that they will never come out. I'm in that now. However, the desire to have a open gay relationship will always come out. Don't fear it. It is only about 2 weeks of hell and then it's all over. Everyone will know and most will be okay with it. (Speaking from words of advise from a openly gay friend.)

Answer 2

You are aware of his feelings and how much the encounters have affected you. So in all truth he has to be the one to find the heart and desire to come forth and be a man and live his life the way he wants. first why is he afraid to come out and if he has sleep with you a few times then living a lie only hurts him.... You have to either let him go or tell him the only time you will have anything sexual to do with him again is that it be done at his place or yours. and stop with this sneeking around

Answer 3

first of all i know first hand that being in the closet is not the answer. if you hook up with another closeted individual, you are cheating yourself of an opportunity of having an openly loving relationship when you are ready to be out. i really think you should leave this situation alone, take some time for yourself, and when you're ready, you can find someone suitable for you. if not, you will be playing this game until you are an emotional wreck.

Answer 4

u should tell him how u feel. let him know that u r falling 4 him and u want the whole world 2 kno. just remember that he is ur "mate", so he won't blow u off or anything lightly. u r one lucky S.O.B. most ppl dream of one of those movie like romances where u fall in love with ur best friend. i kno i have. i hope this all works out 4 u 2. i fell 4 my best friend and it didn't work out between us, but we had a completely different situation (for starters, i'm 15 and i'm out) and i have a feeling that there is much more hope 4 u 2. good luck and the best of wishes. e-mail me and tell me how things work out.

Answer 5

Tell him how you feel sweetie... give it a chance! Let me tell you, there is no better feeling in the world than holding your man's hand out there in the open. Let him know how much you want to be with him. I hope things turn out well for you kid! <3

Answer 6

Man, I wish that could happen to me..You better go for it before he slips away..great story btw..this coming from a in the closet male 21..

Answer 7

I am wondering if this world is having shortage of chicks to do whenever i read stuff like this.

Answer 8

didn't you see brokeback mountain?