When to have the next baby?

Question

I have a daughter, who is 5 months old. I am trying to decide when to get pregnant again. I have a few thoughts.
1. I am nursing, so I worry about the effects on both my daughter and the growing baby. There are arguments on both sides, so it is just confusing.
2. I want my daughter to have time with my husband and myself, and to learn the rules and ropes of the house before I am distracted with another little one. But, I also don't want the kids to be too far apart. But what if they are too close, and competitive? I feel like either way, I will just do what needs to be done. I just want it to be the best for our family.

It is hard because it will be 10 months from whenever I do get pregnant, so, I am trying to see what other families have experienced, so I can learn from you! Thanks!!

Answer 1

I'd say get ONE at least completely outta diapers... and then start on another. That way... expenses are only for ONE in diapers. Instead of 2. A good 2-3 yrs in age usally creates a nice bond.

Answer 2

my sister had her babies 11 months apart and it is really hard in the first 2 years worse than twins because they are still both babies but at different stages of development and need different things like different food formula/feed times and a lot different stimulation. but now they are 7 and 8 and only 1 year apart in school share alot of the same friends and are extremely close.. i had my daughters 3 years apart and i have had no trouble i have only 1 baby in nappies and bottles etc.. my 3 year old sleeps through the night so i am only u for the baby when she is unsettled and my 3 year old loves her she was old enough to understand and not be jealous.. doctors advise to give your body a full 12 months between pregnancies though and will you eldest be off breast milk when the baby comes? it is up to you and your partner in the end but if u have a busy lifestyle i would recommend a gap of 2 or 3 years if you don't work and are not planning to go soon but it is very tiering being a parent to any child and it does not matter how many you have it is hard work lol look into it and good luck on deciding when it is right for you to add to your family

Answer 3

I'm not a Mom so I've never gon through the pregnancy and parenting thing. But I just wanted to say having a sibling close in age doesn't always end in them being competitive. One of my sisters is 8 years older than me and we both had to b ecome adults before we started getting along. She wasn't the first born but I think she had a hard time giving up her position as the "baby" after so many years when I came along. On the other hand my other sister and I are only 2 years apart ( in fact our birthdays are two weeks apart) and we get along great, and always have never any of that competitive stuff.

Answer 4

From a medical standpoint, it is said that it's best to wait 18 months from birth before trying again, because that's how long it truly takes one's body to heal from the rigors of birth. My brother and I are 2 1/2 years apart and though we had our differences, we get along pretty well :) Then you have some time to work w/ your daughter, and finish breastfeeding. Also, your daughter would be getting old enough to start doing some things w/ you, help you carry a small diaper bag backpack maybe? Good luck!

Answer 5

It is very hard for a first born to welcome a sibling, especially before the first born has gotten the attention and care needed. Four or five years is the best division between kids. They'll be less competitive, but still friends. (At least ours are.)

We homeschool, so the oldest didn't have to leave home when the youngest was born. We've utterly loved it and our first born really got the time and attention he needed.

It's hard enough meeting a young child's needs appropriately, with nursing on demand, holding all day, cooing and talking and being reciperocal and sensitive, without adding a second bundle of needs to the mix right away.

Answer 6

I only have one child, and he is almost a year old. I would really like to begin trying for number two at the end of this year, but I don't know if the finances will be there because my fiance is waiting to hear back from a compant right now, and where he's working now (plus what I make) isn't enough to support another baby.

But I think that two, two and a half years apart is great. Based on what I've experienced in my family and in my friends families, children who have that age gap in between them seem to grow up well together.

For starters, when the younger one is born, the older one is usually out of or almost out of diapers, and is old enough to understand that this is a new baby and that it is a brother or sister. But they are still close enough in age that they will be able to play together, enjoy the same vacations (obviously not in the infant stage) and keep the same basic schedule once the infant starts sleeping through the night.

And as they get older and start school, they can share many of the same friends and go to the same places together.

I am the oldest in my family, and my sister is 7 years younger than me. When she was born, I can remember being very excited, but I can also remember not wanting her to be hanging around and wanting to be in my room all the time because there was nothing that we could play together that was fun for both of us. Sometimes I played her games with her, but it was more like I was humoring her than anything. Or that mom made me...

My brother was born just before her second birthday and they can fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but they were always able to enjoy the same movies, the same made-up games, the same cartoons, the same day-trip places, etc. Now my sister is in jr. high and my brother is in 6th grade and they have a lot of the same friends and still hang out together all the time.

I have two friends who have brothers two years younger than them, with the same results. Actually, I'm dating the 2-year-younger brother of one of my friends. I met him when he was hanging aroung waiting on her to come out of a practice we had. If they hadn't gotten on so well, he would've gone on home instead of waiting to ride with her.

Anyway, good luck, and I hope your decision turns out to be the right one for your family!

Answer 7

I think that the best age gap is 2 years. I have a two year old and a four year old. Both birthdays are March and April. It turns out that they get along great, but they are able to do their own things once in awhile. Good Luck! :)

Answer 8

My son is three and my daughter is 3 months. I wanted to wait until I had my son potty trained before we started trying to have another child. But that's a choice that you and your husband have to make. After all ya'll are the one's who will be caring for them. Good Luck on what ever you decide.

Answer 9

I would like to have them about 2 years apart - because that is what I experienced growing up and I liked to be close to my brother. Also because I want to be on a roll (waking up at night, diapers, etc).
Anyway it is not so easy to plan, maybe the next baby will come sooner than expected, maybe he will take his time... Actually my parents had not planned on having my brother so soon!

Answer 10

I had three kids in three years. They are all a year and a half apart exactly. I think it is a bit too close. I wish I would have waited a bit longer in between. My last two will only be one year apart in school and I can't help thinking...oh my gosh...three high school graduations in three years...three weddings in three years...three driver's licenses in three years. Plus, I wish they weren't all so dependant at the same time. Being so young...they are all sooooo needy and take up so much of my time and energy. If I had and older child they could get their own cereal in the morning...dress themselves...etc. I think 3 years apart is perfect...if only I could do it over!!