Whats wrong with BEING A MALE VIRGIN AT 24?

Question

I'm a 24 year old male college guy. During the dinner party at a cousins wedding, my table (of young college aged strangers) started talking about relationships they had in the past - boyfriends/girlfriends, sex, ect. They mentioned the worst and best relationships theyve have ever had.

The ball came to me and I told the people at my table, who were a little tipsy, that I never ever dated, never had a girlfriend, or ever had sex. Subsequently, the table became very quiet. Afterwards, they talked amongst themselves and no one else talked to me the rest of the night. They were giving me weird looks, rolling their eyes the rest of the night. I think that the people were embarrassed to associate with me.

It's not my fault that I grew up to only 5'5". Its not my fault that girls subconsciously see me as a "cripple" due to my height. I tried talking with girls in the past but its no use. Im trying to learn to accept to being a virgin and single for life.

Are there many like me?

Answer 1

Yes, many people exaggerate their sexual feats, you are just being honest. Tell the girls you are waiting for someone special... heck, it might help!

Answer 2

Ok man. Many people above said exactly what I would like to say. I just want add this:
The problem is not being a virgin. Heck, what IS a virgin? You mean never had sex? So what? If that was the problem, it something that can be fixed with few bucks. You could buy sex if thats what you wanted. Sex is not what you are missing in life. Communication is what you need. There are countless guys out there that have sex and absolutely nothing beyond that. You just focus on being who you are and when the girl that will love you for that comes in your life, you will find much more meaningfull things beyond sex.
And let me say this as well. I am 1.86'm tall (i dont know how much in inches. i thinks its above 6 feet.) I have an athletic body and girls say I also have a cute face. I dont get any though. I have a friend who is much shorter than me and he always has a good looking girlfriend. Its not about looks. Its about self confidence and luck. YES luck. If its going to happen, it will.
Dont let your looks, or what you dont like about them, bring you down, cause if you feel this way others will not see who you really are. They will see who you think you are.
Chin up mate. As my father says, "Better days will come. Just make sure you dont sleep all day when they do"!!
:)

Answer 3

Nothing is wrong with you. I have a male friend who is 30 years old(yes, I said 30) and is still a virgin, never had a girlfriend. I am sure that your height does not have a lot to do with your luck with females. My dad is 5'5" as are most of the men in my family(some are even shorter than that). Besides people should not be judged based on height alone. Are you shy around females? Perhaps your self-esteem is a bit on the low side? This could be the case if you are insecure about your height. Sometimes people show a lack of confidence in themselves without intending to. Don't get discouraged. You will not be single and a virgin for life. You just have to have more confidence and optimism. You will find someone.

Answer 4

Well, the apostle Paul thought it was better to be single, but he emphasized that was a personal choice. It sounds more like a grudging, unhappy concession for you.

If girls see you as a cripple at 5'5", it may be because you perceive yourself that way. At least, that's sort of the attitude that comes across in your letter, whether you intended it to or not.

Some of the most attractive men I ever knew were short and proud of it. (I'm a female - 5'11", and I always went for the short guys!) So you see, sexy is as sexy does. You certainly are not handicapped by your height....maybe by your attitude but not by your actual height.

As for discussing such intimate secrets with total strangers, hopefully you've learned your lesson there. First of all - congratulations and I think it's awesome you are still a virgin! I have no problems with a man who is discriminating enough not to sleep with someone he truly doesn't care for. I think that's a real mark of character in this day and hour.....but never open yourself up to acquaintances and strangers. That isn't wisdom no matter how you measure it. (Pun intended)

If you have trouble talking with girls, I think that's your own self-image shining through. Time to do a re-think. Take care of yourself - wear your hair/beird/moustache in a becoming way. Dress for "success", whether you're dressing casually or not. Work out if you want to...buy a signature cologne for men that makes you smell WONDERFUL. Then learn to be caring, considerate, thoughtful, funny....just in case you aren't all those things already. The bottom line is, when you have more respect and confidence in yourself, and respect and consideration in the way you treat others, that will come across when you approach the women - and trust me, what you think you lack in physical stature can be MORE than compensated for in character and confidence.

It sounds like the biggest battle you have isn't with the yardstick, but what's going on between your ears.

Wishing you all the best!

Answer 5

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age. You obviously threw those people a curve ball and they had no clue how to react so they didn't except to ignore you. But I bet at least one other persson at that table was jealous. One of the greatest gifts is virginity. Your future partner (and you will have one unless you join the church) will not have to worry about what STD's you have and will consider your choice of them an honor. At least I would. No, I don't think there are very many who can honestly claim this status. But the numbers are on the rise particularly among younger people who are pledging to remain a virgin until marriage as it should be. You are truly rare, enjoy your accomplishment and continue to be picky.

Answer 6

There are more guys than you think who are still virgins at you're age. But, some advice for you. Yes, there are chicks who won't be with guys that are shorter than them. But, they aren't worth you're time any ways. There are a good amount of girls that don't care as much for superficial qualities as height. Plus, I'm sure there are a good amount of girls that you can find that are shorter than you. I think the main reason that you have not attracted girls is one major thing, and that is your lack of confidence, and feeling bad about yourself. Don't worry about your height, there is nothing you can do about that, so just accept it, and I'm sure many girls will as well. I know many guys who are your height that have been with quite a bit of girls, plus 5'5'' is short, but not really short considering there are more guys than you think who are around that height. It's not like you're 5'0''. Just be nice, sociable, and keep your chin up and be confident, and I guarentee you will meet some girls that will like you. There is nothing wrong though with being a virgin at you're age. If you want to stay a virgin for now that is fine. But if not, then carry yourself confidently and go meet girls.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 24. In fact, I think it is great. There are quite a few people like you (male and female alike). However, you seem to be negative about yourself, and this is a problem. You should focus on what you like about yourself. It is unlikely that you will get any taller. But, who cares? Most of the cutest guys are short. I like shorter guys, and I am a very tall girl. Most women will not care about your height. However, they will be turned off by you being preoccupied with it. How will you accept them as they are, if you are so hard on yourself? Think about it. Even if you want to stay single, try to be positive; your life will be much happier!

Answer 8

As a matter of fact, nothing is wrong with being a 24-year-old virgin, or with being a virgin all your life, if that's what you want. But your statement that you are doomed to virginity because you are 5'5'' is silly, and indicative of a very low self-esteem. Get real, short guys- I mean shorter that you!- have girlfriends and get married all the time. Your height is not the source of your problem. You need to work on doing whatever you have to do to make you feel good about yourself, whether that is education, or a creative pursuit, or whatever does it for you. I suspect if anyone "unconsciously sees you as a cripple" it is because of your low self-esteem, not your height. If you throw yourself on the floor as a doormat, people will walk on you. As for the people who shunned you because of your virginity, they have misplaced priorities. Or perhaps what made them feel awkward was the fact that you were so down on yourself.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. LIke others have said, you just need to find the right person. And about the height, that doesn't matter, I'm just a litle over 5', as are many other women.

Answer 10

So you're 5'5". So what? Should I start to think that there's something wrong with me now because of my height?
Look, there is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin. And, it is to be preferred when you get married. One day you will meet that someone, and I'll guarentee you'll chase her away if you go on about things over which you have no control, if you indulge in self pity.
So they pretty much left you out. Don't you see how stupid they were? Don't let THEM define YOU.

Answer 11

Based on the questions I've seen you ask this evening, I'm going to guess that it was more your attitude that made them uncomfortable than the fact that you are a virgin at age 24.

I know men who are shorter than you who have (or at least, who have had) perfectly healthy romantic relationships. (And look at Armin Shimerman -- Quark from Star Trek:DS9 -- who is 5'5" tall and married to a lovely actress who is somewhere around six feet in height!) I know men who meet the generally accepted definition of "crippled" -- Cerebral Palsy, for example, or paralysis -- who have perfectly healthy romantic relationships.

You seem to be quite bitter, and to have already decided that you are going to fail; you obviously have a poor self-image as well. In that sense, yes, there are many like you.