I haven't seen my first true love in years, but never got over him. I've moved on and married (miserably) w/ kids. I think of the ex everyday, I dream of him almost weekly. I know that I am not "in love" with my husband but I of course still feel guilty that I think I am still in love with this person. Should I contact him for closure?
2007-02-01 13:55:35 · 14 answers · asked by skkydreemer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hold on, I am a college grad who supports my husband who is a deadbeat. I love my kids and plan on ending the marriage regardless. My husband is a jerk. I have tried and tried. He has cheated and been controlling.........
2007-02-01 14:07:20 · update #1
I also have not intention of contacting this person while I am still married. I have known the ex since I was 4 yrs old. He was in my live for 20 years.
2007-02-01 14:10:06 · update #2
If this guy had really be the love of your life, then you two would be blissfully married now. You've admitted that you're miserable with your husband and thinking about this other guy seems to be giving you some kind of hope for a future of happiness. Sadly, it's most likely not going to work out with this other guy either because people change. Even if he hasn't changed, he could be married or involved in a relationship with someone else. He could be a real jerk now. Don't base your future hopes on someone you don't even know anymore. If you're unhappy in your current situation, then change it. Divorce your husband, take your children, and create a new life for yourself. You're going to be a very sad and unhappy person if you're counting on others to make you happy. You need to be happy with yourself and love yourself then you can form a relationship with someone else.
2007-02-02 09:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an old friend of mine. Is your ex now married as well? You may have other issues going on with your life that are causing you to be unhappy. Focusing on some fantasy life with your ex-boyfriend is a way of trying to tell yourself that he will make you happy. If you haven't seen him in years chances are you are not in love with that guy. Instead of trying to chase some dream you should try focusing on your husband and kids. They need you not some ex.
Get some counseling to help you figure out what it is that is making you unhappy.
2007-02-01 14:06:09 · answer #2 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, you will probably always remember him and always love him in some way, you will only cause more heartbreak and trouble, I suggest that if you want out of your mairrage you deal with that first...then if the ex isnt in a relationship with someone els then maybe approach the subject, but only after you and your husband split, you could lose your children, who knows maybe your mairrage is going through a rough spot most marraiges do , mine did now its better but why ruin what you have or what can be with the family you have for someone you now know nothing about, besides dont you think he may have his own set of problems that you may or may not be able to deal with. Just not worth it!
2007-02-01 14:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by cristy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you still think of the ex because your marriage is in trouble. trying to find closure is just a way of getting in contact with the person again. but before u contact anyone get a divorce first, if u are miserable and there is no chance for happiness, than divorce him first.
2007-02-02 11:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that maybe you just miss the fact of being in love. i personally hate it when people get drawn into bad relationships and marriages when they have children. i wouldnt look up the guy. because i honestly think that if you met up with him you might not actually love him, you just miss the thought of him and i think that you are really just using that memory of him as a way of having true love. i wouldnt have an affair. but i do know that it is very difficult. talk to your husband and ask him if he truly loves you, ask him if he is in love with you. and if you both are not happy, divorce. i know that is such a huge step to take, especially with kids, but both of you deserve to be happy. just talk it over with your kids, both you and your husband. dont just spring it on them that they're going to be apart from one of their parents. good luck and i hope it all works out for you.
2007-02-01 14:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by missy_t_09 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't seen him in years, then you really don't "know" him anymore. Get over it. Your just making up a feeling of "love" to help you cope with your current relationship. Start focusing on loving your kids and/or yourself. Why don't you go to college or something?
2007-02-01 14:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by R. Guetive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That suckls for your husband.
I don';t thni kyou should contact him. Things could turn out badly. You may meet up with him somewhere just to catch up. One thing may lead to another and your feelings are soi strong that yopu may cheat on your husband. That's not a good thing to do, even if you don't love him.
2007-02-01 13:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by ascanio91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No keep your dreams alive in your mind only & search him with in your husband which is your present life. Never try to contact your Ex boy friend otherwise you will spoil your life. Imagine & find him with in your present Husband only.
2007-02-01 14:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by P S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your choice but maybe you should ask around and see if he has a life of his own. f he hasn't contacted you, maybe he's moved on and you'll mess up his life and your husband's by doing that. Think it over. You have a life now. Try to work on that.
2007-02-01 14:10:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I would but try to keep it simple. Does he still feels the same way about you? If the answer is no, then I wouldn't bother but try to think this through.
2007-02-01 13:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋