me and my hubby are newly webs and if hes not upset everything's perfect we have so many things in common, But once he get upset over something silly and its hell from there, and he'll say things that hurt me a lot things i wouldn't say the things he say over a dumb disagreement he'll brake things once i start telling him hes wrong that i dont deserve this treatment. he'll grab me if i try leaveing and the reason i try to leave is because he starts to brake things and scream at me very violently. But once he calms down hes begging me not to leave him that im everything to him and whats sad is that i know he loves me and i do love my husband but what can do about this temper problem its ruening my love for him, and my will to stay married its ruening my wishes and dreams
2007-02-01 13:31:33 · 32 answers · asked by sassy06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's only a matter of time before he hurts you really badly. He is an abuser, just waiting to happen. For your safety, you need to leave, and never look back! Good Luck!!
2007-02-01 13:40:10 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI Sassy, you need to think of your safety, staying in this relationship the way it is is not healthy or helping him. You need to go some where you can be safe, arrange councilling for you both after you are out, and if he make this agreement and things improve then go back, but he needs to realize he cannot keep going on like this, it is like a child thowing a tantrum and getting what they want, they will continue to keep doing it, as much as it is upsetting, you will have be the strong one and take the next step. Ring your local number for violence against women and see if there are any places you can go too or extra advice that you can get. Many blessings mysticbutterfly
2007-02-01 13:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by xxmysticbutterflyxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just being newly weds is not a reason to put up with this treatment. Honey, what you need to do is call the domestic abuse women's shelter right away!!! What you are experiencing is the cycle of abuse: the walking on eggs shell trying not to upset him The big blow ups, throwing a breaking things and then the romantic, I love you so much and every thing is fine once more theneach stage starts over. Only the next time instead of breaking things, he'll be hitting and kicking you Please Please help yourself!!! get away now!! Call the women's shelter today
2007-02-01 13:43:52 · answer #3 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my advice to you would be counseling. OR SPLIT UP FOR A BIT OR FOR GOOD. I hate to sound harsh but I was at one time in a similar situation. Getting out was the best thing I ever did things got worse with him before they got better. I was not married to the jerk though I am now happily married to my first love we reunited after some time and have been back together for 7 years and married for almost 4. well I wish you the best in what ever decision you make take care. AND NO WOMAN DESERVES TO BE TREATED THIS WAY!!!!
2007-02-01 13:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by wheresmyfrickinmidol123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had stopped to think about things on the level you are about 15 years ago. I decided to stay with a man with a scary temper, and now here I am, almost 40, 4 kids in tow, trying to figure out how the he!! I am going to get out. Listen to me, don't waste another day, I know you love him, but that is not going to keep you safe in the long run. Rage is a serious issue, don't discount your fears. Get safe, and maybe you can save the relationship after that. Just get safe.
2007-02-01 13:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually i think that all of this that it happens to should all get together and file a law that says people cant live together over a year or be married .. that seems to be the cut off point for most people to start realizing they are married to a stranger.. its like being in the movie sleeping with the enemy.. If you can pass a law to ban smoking you should be able to ban marriage..
2007-02-01 14:15:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do right now is leave.......until he agrees to get help for that violent temper.......as women we are willing to stand by our man because of course he it good to me when he's not yelling or mentally abusing me.........
This is not a good relationship for you to be in .......you are a lifetime movie waiting to happen.
If he is breaking things and yelling and being verbally abusive...I'm sure he didn't start this last week, you had to have known about this 2nd personality he has for a while and I'm sure each time he gets mad and probably drunk....things get worse and worse until one day its going to turn violent and then you will really be in trouble...........For your safety....and I hope there are no children involved.........please leave and just let him know that when you see that he is getting counseling which you may need to go with him............then you will consider going back.....don't set yourself up to be another statistic........Love yourself.....if you love yourself you wouldn't allow this to go on....I say if you want to salvage this marriage get counseling and get it fast.....
good luck :)
2007-02-01 13:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by Pegi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs anger management classes.
If he does this again...you NEED to go to a friends house, a relatives house or a women's shelter.
You need to teach him that you WILL NOT TOLERATE this crap for even one second, and if it doesn't stop, you can't be together.
Saying sorry doesn't cut it.
No tolerance on the abuse.
Your future children will be f"""ed if you plan on having them. I came from a home like this.
LEAVE EVERYTIME he does it.
If you let it happen...it will only get worse. What you just 'told him'
Is that he is allowed to throw a temper tantrum however and whenever he likes...so long as he says he is sorry afterwards.
2007-02-01 13:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by moabmusher 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Pegi, don't be sad. You see your the same person who wrote me a long and sincere message. Im the guy who begs for love and friendship. Thank's for the inspirational message.. Im really touch from all the peole sharing to me their best wishes and your one among them.
I hope by now your okey with ur new husband. I feel what you feel.
I love you and Godbless..
2007-02-01 13:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by myk_1652prince 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is bad. It is only going to get worse. You don't want to hear it, but I'll say it anyway. LEAVE. Leave before the next things he starts breaking are bonesand/or your nose. It is only a matter of time.
2007-02-01 13:51:39 · answer #10 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋