cheated and forgiveness?

Question

i cheated on my husband almost a year ago. i just told him about it the other day. he didnt belive it at first then he did. he ask me why i did it and i told him. at time we wasnt getting along and i told him i didnt tell him because i didnt think he needed to know about it then. so he ask me why now tell him. i thought it was the right thing to tell him since we are getting along greatt. he told me he forgives me and he is still in love with me. i told him he could leave if he wanted to and he said no. but that was one thing he always said if he was ever cheated on he was done reguardless of marriage kids or not. has he really forgave me or is he just saying that and does it really bother him? he acts better towards me but he was like that before i told him and it's like hes more in love with me. is it just a act or what? just wanted to know if anyone else went through it and it was the truth. or do i have that great of a husband? i would never do it again!

he has done stuff to me before i have ever done this. but i never brought it up to him. i know for a fact that he is not cheating on me. i know where he is at and his pay checks says it to. it has nothing to do with getting back at him or anything like that. i have told him i will go else where many of times if i dont get what i want from him. so really i never lied to him about it. he knows what i want.

Answer 1

Actions speak louder than words. He may have said that he would leave you - but if he doesn't - then he truly loves you and wouldn't leave you for the world. He probably understands why you did what you did. There are those guys still left in the small percentage that really understand us and love us for who we are, and not what we have.

Answer 2

Count your blessings, be glad that he's a forgiving man.

Not too many men would forgive their wife for doing something like that and hiding it. Take it at face value, and keep going forward. Don't take a step back by dwelling on the situation you were in last year. Then again, you may be feeling the way you do because of guilt. You are now possibly anticipating if your husband may do something behind your back. I believe he won't do that, especially with you saying that you 2 are getting along much better now.

Like I said, take it at face value.

Answer 3

First of all I think it was selfish of you to tell him now. I think that the only reason you did was to clear your conscience. But now that you did it seems odd that he is acting like he really doesn't care. Maybe he did the same thing as you and that is why he is not that fazed by it. Do you want him to get upset and leave you deep down inside? I am just trying to figure out your real motive for telling him now. I think if you want to stay together you just need to drop the whole topic and not bring it up again unless he does. It may hit him later and he may have some anger about it, I don't see how he can't it just seems odd to me. I think there is more to this maybe on his side.

Answer 4

You just doomed your marriage. Your husband is going to start cheating on you and then leave. You should have told him last year. You bring it up now only to stir up some drama and hurt the guy. Well your guy is about to put a hurtin on you.

You'll be singing this tune soon...."If You Think You're Lonely Now, Wait Until Tonight Girl".

Answer 5

I think you had a motive for telling him because If you had gotten away with it why would you tell him now and it happened over a year ago......and then on top of that you tell him he could leave.....which he will eventually do because most men can't handle when their wives cheat on them....they deal with it as long as they can but in his mind he pictures you with another man and its going to be hard for him..........I'm sure you know by now that nothing is perfect and everybody go through some rough times in marriage but you have to learn to deal with it ....not fall on your back because you are not getting along with your husband........I hope that he really does forgive you ....... but I wouldn't be surprised if he left....which I really think you want him to leave because you just blantanly told him he could leave...........

Answer 6

Well, it all depends on what kind of person he is, really. There is a chance that he cheated on you also, so that's why he's not making a big deal out of it. If that's not the case..then maybe he truly understands why you did it and is willing to forgive, forget, and move on with the lovely life the two of you share...think about it.

Answer 7

How much do you trust him? You should know that answer. I've heard of people forgiving those that have cheated. Most of the time, they do forgive & forget. He may just really love you. But, the question is, do you really love him? Ask yourself why you cheated in the first place. I don't think you should worry about how he feels about you. Sometimes we try to deflect our own issues to someone else because it makes it easier for us to forgive ourselves. I believe he's being sincere. Think about it. You should be happy in your own skin.

Answer 8

I am sure that it does bother him, but he obviously loves you and wants to stay with you. You have to ask yourself why would he be putting on an act and what would he get out of doing that? I think you are lucky or maybe he cheated on you to and thinks that you guys are even. Either way, sounds like you made out good.

Answer 9

He is probably still in shock, or denial. It'll come out one day...you will have a fight and then all his anger about it will come out. What you did was wrong and you won't get away with it that easy...maybe he's cheating on YOU and that's why he's okay with it.

Answer 10

You shouldn't have told him. It truly is easier to forgive than forget. Did you tell him to torture him or what? Don't be surprised when this comes up again. You were trying to torture him, right?