How do I get my fiance to go to couples therapy?

Question

I really want to sort things out with us before we get married this summer (and have a baby in august). And my therapist has recomended he come in with me to help sort out my issues with men. And I know it would be a good idea for him. And our relationship as we desprately need help with our communication. Please, I've tried everything to talk him into it and he won't budge. Is there any hope?

Answer 1

woo... hmmm... very delicate issue... BUT THERE IS DEFINITELY HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You must be wondering why??

Allow me to explain with a story.

A long time ago, long before Earth was conceived.
There lived two races.
The Men on Mars, and the Women on Venus.
The Men valued Power, Technology, and Authority.
While The Women valued Relationship, Feelings and Beauty.

One day, through the powerful scopes that Men invented, he saw the most beautiful species he's ever since. The Venetian Women. Excited, the discoverer sent word for the others, and very quickly they invented Space Travel, and set out for Venus.

Upon landing on Venus, the Women were thrilled by the visit of the new and powerful Martian Men that could protect them, they welcomed the Men with all their hearts.
And it was love at first sight.

Both Men and Women were very tactful, because they both knew how to respect and understand one another's differences and behavior. LOVE AND PEACE REIGNED!
Until one day, the Martians and Venetians decided to move to Earth!
SUDDENLY Selective amnesia set in. Both Men and Women, forgot about their differences, and thus lived in fights and disharmony ever after.

Beautiful story, but sad ending ain't it? But this story illustrates a truth that we need to relearn. And that is that Men and Women ARE DIFFERENT, we might look, walk and even talk the same, but we are different.

With respect to your problem, i would recommend you to not push him to go. Men believe "Don't Fix it if it's not broken", and he will feel broken, if you try to "fix" him or the relationship, when he perceives it's not broken. I know you feel it's going to help him. But like i said, we're different. A feminine approach of constantly improving the relationship or her Man, might not always be perceived as help to Men, especially so when he thinks he can solve it himself, or when the relationship has no problems.

Instead, tell him that story above, and say something along this line.

Honey, i read this interesting story about Men and Women online and it goes something like this..
*story telling*
(try to visualize the story, it makes it much more touching).
(let him speak now, you must learn to not fill up the time with your reactions, but keep quiet and let him think and think
below is the KEY STATEMENT, that makes him want to go with you! it makes him feel like a knight in shining armor. Here we go!)

Honey, I feel that the story makes a lot of sense, it made me aware that i might not understand you better than I should. I love you and i want to (let your creativities expand, where mushy sweet-nothings can fill up here) live the rest of my life with you.
Please help me, just by accompany me to see a therapist.
I need your help.*** (Saying "I NEED YOUR HELP" will trigger the MEN in shining armor to help the Damsel in Distress!)

So i've just taught you how to... please put it into practice and practise. the script i've given you is also mixed with a lot of people skills, do use it as it is, or even add on to it's flavor.
But i'd urge you to not change the KEY STATEMENT

With Blessing to your about to be new found love,
Domenic Ong

Answer 2

Pre Caina is standard prior to marriage is the majority of churches if you are choosing to go that way it's a handy excuse.

Good Luck,
Jen
If not don't marry him.