so mad right now need some help?

Question

MY DAUGHTERS FIRST BIRTHDAY IS ON SUNDAY....WE ARE HAVING A PARTY ON SATURDAY FOR HER....MY MOTHER-IN LAW....CAN'T GET OFF WORK ...SO SHE DECIDES TO CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT SHE IS GOING TO HAVE A PARTY WITH HER FAMILY AT "MY" HOUSE FOR HER....WHICH I WILL NOT BE THERE B/C I HAVE TO WORK....MY HUSBAND WILL BE THOUGH....I TOLD HER THAT I WANTED TO BE THERE...AND SHE SAID "WELL WHAT CAN YOU DO"....MY HUSBAND DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS YET B/C HE IS AT WORK AND DOESN'T COME HOME UNTIL 3 IN THE MORNING....SOMEONE PLEASE HELP....WOULD YOU BE UPSET ABOUT THIS...I MEAN SHE IS MY DAUGHTER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HER FIRST BIRTHDAY CAKE

I CAN'T PICK A TIME FOR EVERYONE...MY MOTHER LIVES 4 HOURS AWAY AND IS A TEACHER SO IT'S HARD FOR HER...MY MOTHER IN LAW LIVES 5 MINUTES AWAY

THEY DON'T WANT TO HAVE A PARTY WITH HER SUNDAY ...BUT FRIDAY...TOMORROW

Answer 1

So the kid is going to have two parties? Big deal. You planned your party first, you're having a party that you're part of, that's all that matters.

If your husband is too spineless to tell his mother "no, we're not having a party at our house when my wife can't be here" then it's not worth fighting about. Nothing she does stops you from having your own party.

Answer 2

I would be beyond angry! You absolutely need to confront her on this. It is YOUR child and YOU will make the decision on her birthday. If your mother-in-law cannot make it to your scheduled party then I'd say "Well, what can you do?" That is absolute bullshit, excuse my language.
Tell your husband about this and hopefully he's going to see how important this is and not roll over for his mom. I'm close with my mother and she'd never pull this on my wife, but if she did I'd be sure to put the brakes on it and make it know who the parents are. You should not miss your baby's first birthday. End of story.
I don't know if you have a way to communicate with your husband at work, or if he can even talk there, but I'd let him know as soon as possible so he can get involved right away. If he doesn't try to put a stop to it, then I suggest you do it yourself because I'd be damned if I let someone take that from me.

To be fair and offer a solution to the problem, if she can't make it to the actual party that you and your husband have set up, offer for her to come to dinner where you can have a "mock" birthday or a "dry run" so to speak. You could do a little cupcake for your little girl and save the cake for her party. Just an idea.

Answer 3

Do you want to have a party at your house? I don't think it's your mom's place to plan a party at YOUR house for YOUR daughter. It's rude! Have the party as scheduled, it's just a birthday party, it's not like it's Christmas. Do not let her do this to you. Have the party on Saturday and tell your mom that it's your house, your daughter, and you want to be present. Do not let her walk all over you. Stand up for yourself, it's your kid, not her's. Put your foot down! Your husband would be pissed too! Tell her no party and have the party on Saturday. Lock the house before you go to work on Sunday! :)

Don't let this happen tomorrow or Sunday! The party is Saturday and that's that! Take a stand! Good luck! Let us know what happens! She's just trying to get even, that's what evil mothers do! :)

Answer 4

As the mother of your child, you are the one who should be in charge of the birday party for your children. You need to talk to you mother in law, with or without hubby, and let her know that you will be having a party for your daughter when you want it and that she cannot plan a party for YOUR daughter on a whim. Stand up to her and let her know that your the mother of this child not her, otherwise, she'll try to walk over you on other issues as well. If nothing else plan another party on a day that all of you in laws are available to attend, but under no circumstances should you let you mother in law take control to tell you when to have a birthday part for your daughter. Good luck.

Answer 5

Tell your husband that he can take her over to see grandma on Saturday that her party that you planned will be on Sunday. Take pictures and be proud of them. Let the Grandma have the party she wants at her house. Tell her right away so that you don't have too clean up after two parties. Don't even think of missing her birthday party. Talk to your husband as soon as you see him and let him know how you feel. Call him at work if you can. His mom is trying to see how much she can run over you-set her straight. Tell him too right now. Try to be nice about it.

Answer 6

You tell her if she wants to have her own party then fine but she is to have it at her house, its for her family so she can have the whole mess. Unless your husband has even a better idea. You have got to stand up to this lady and don't let her know that it bothers you about her having her own party, Just NOT at your house. And if i were you I would stay from work on Friday and let her know this but don't go tho her party. Tell her that you are staying home to clean and decorate for your Party at YOUR HOUSE. umf ... some people have a lot of nerve don't you think/

Answer 7

I think you need to set your Mother In Law straight.
Your Daughter you will arrange the birthday party.
Everyone that would like to attend should be given
a chance. I am talking about the immediate family.

You get her in check now or it will only get worse.
Your husband should back you 110%.

Answer 8

Hey how are you? Well I know your frustrated with this and I don't blame you. If I was in your situation I would not be waiting till my man got home for one thing to sit there and just let it bother me no sorry, I'd call him first of all like just leave a message or something and yes it is important if he loves you he will be cool with it and it is important to you. Let him know whats going on and tell him that there is no way that you are having this period, everyone there but you, your daughters first birthday! I think not. His mother needs to respect you period and if she can't respect you and your man loves you girl trust me he will set her straight. Okay well good luck with this and I really hope that you speak up don't let something like this have to stick with you for the rest of your life.

Answer 9

This is your child. You pick the time and place for her first birthday party. If M-I-L cannot attend, just take lots of pics and save her a piece of cake. She has no right to dictate to you about your baby's birthday party. If she gets pissed, don't worry, she'll stew about it for a little while and then get over it. You're the mother, You say when!!!!!! And Stick to your guns girl!!!!!

Answer 10

Oh no! That is your daughter and her first birthday at that. If she can't make it, then that is her problem. I may sound mean about this but she should have made sure that she was going to be off for her grandchild's first birthday. And how nervy to say she is going to have it at YOUR house when you won't be there. She needs to realize that she didn't give birth to YOUR daughter! Ugh, that is just nervy of her. I sure hope you stood your ground and told her no.
Hope something works out!

Answer 11

Get a back bone! phone her RIGHT NOW and TELL her that NO!! she is NOT having it at your house because your daughters FIRST birthday is going to be with you! Your daughter won't know the bloody difference. Your mother-in-law is doing to because SHE wants attention. If your husband doesn't support you telling your mother-in-law to back off and get her own life, send him back to live with his overbearing mother.