well shes not happy that she lived, how do i make her excited about life, she has had alot of bad things happen to her and not many good things, i just wanna show her things can be good and that she is safe now and doesnt have to be scared anymore, i want her to be happy, shes in the hospital rite now, but wat r somethings that i can do when she gets out to make her realize that life IS GOOD ? thanks to those who answer.
2007-02-01 12:07:11 · 26 answers · asked by TyreL 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
ih shes 14 im 15
2007-02-01 12:07:27 · update #1
we have been best friends since 1st grade.
now, we live together with her grandparents and her little brother (long story,dont ask)
2007-02-01 12:16:02 · update #2
these are the things that have happened 2 her
-her uncle raped her from age 11-13
-parents beat her till she had broken bones
-cuts her self
-had to raise her little brother since no one else would (hes 3)
- our baby died
-when we still lived in utah, the girls would cut out her hair(shes native american and there is some thing about no being able to cut yur hair untill yur married if u r a girl), they would beat her too.
-has been anorexic
-has been bolemic
those are some of her problems
2007-02-01 12:30:49 · update #3
hello again tyrel. how is she doing? is she holding up okay? are you sure she had both of those eating disorders?she has never said anythign to me abotut hem before.. but stress can cause you to loose or gain alot of weight! it is a sad time for her. she has had a hard life and there isnt much you can do to help her. other than be supportive of her (lettign her live! f course!) but dont try to hard. be there and care for her. you sound liek a great boyfriend. but she needs to see a psychiatrist! they specialize in this stuff. im not sure a regualr therapist can help much. psychiatrists arent bad! she just has major depression problems. never tell her :why cant you feel better or snap out of it" that will only make her more depressed it will make her think "god i cant snap out of this and cheer up then i cant do anything!" so jut care for her. tell her nothign is ever her fault because it isnt at all! what happened with the child is a natural thing that has been hapening to women since the beginning of time and its always a possibility. and a omplication with pregnancy. there wasnt anythign she could do to stop it. but just care for her and be ther for her (keep an eye on her) try to take her out again when she feels comfortable. but she is the one that decides SHE WANTS help(sh doesnt seem liek she wants it since she doesnt talk to her therapist). nooen can make her go get help if she isnt wiling to get better. she is the one who has to WANT it. once again i wish the two of you and the famly best of luck!
-morgan
2007-02-01 18:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you have to know is that this is not your responsibility. Second, I want to tell you what a wonderful young man you seem to be wanting to help her so much. Your parents must be very proud.
I know you want her to be happy, but she has to realize happiness on her own, and with professional help. Just be there for her to talk to when she wants. She is in the safest place she can be right now, even though she may not realize it. The sad thing is is that she has to WANT the help, and sometimes severe depression makes that almost impossible.
Just be a friend right now, and don't try to take on her problems as your own, do you understand what I mean? You can be there for her but it IS IN NO WAY your responsibility to make her happy. Depression is an ugly thing.
Hang in there and I hope she gets the help she so desperately needs. I wish I would have had friends like you when I was 14. You must love her very much.
Take care.
2007-02-01 20:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by edkolover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just got done writing you.... :)
I would count you as one of the good things.
Also, if I remember right, she likes music. Put that in the good column.
I would also suggest a little camping trip when she gets better, a little one on one time sitting by the fire will do wonders. Maybe a trip together. Get out of the idea that life needs to go back to normal.... Koi knows that normal sux.... get into the mode where life needs be special.
Of course anything I can do, just ask.
2007-02-01 20:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! first off you are only a kid dont try to take on the world you cant change her mind...basically she has major mental issues that wont go away over night and you cant just convince her to be happy it doesnt work that way...you say she has been through a lot but that doesnt tell us what has gone on with her it may have been some very serious things that the average joe cant help her with...if you want just be there to support her but she will need counseling and maybe depression medication and depending on how bad off she is right now they might just keep her locked up until they get her mentally stable...good luck
2007-02-01 20:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the doctor what you can do to be supportive. Knowing that you are there and care will help her tremendously. Hugs go a long way. Let her know that she scared you half to death because you can't imagine life without her. Help her get her follow up care, even having a friend sit in the waiting room while she talks to a counselor will give her the privacy she needs with the doctor, yet reinforce that she is loved.
2007-02-01 20:19:09 · answer #5 · answered by Caren H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh the poor thing. Well I think you should just do what you've been doing and be there for her. I think she just needs to know that people care about her and love her. She is obviously in a bad place right now, I would just spend as much time with her as you can and try to do things to cheer her up (depending on what she likes) Maybe cook her dinner or take her out someplace fun/beautiful.
2007-02-01 20:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by 031708140503 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If and most important, you have to remember you can't make her happy, she has to make herself happy. Unfortunately unless she is willing to get help-counseling and medication, chances are she will always be fighting the demons of her past. Since she tried to kill herself, legally her guardians should be able to force her into in patient care and most hospitals have a plan to help people without a cost. She is very fortunate to have someone who cares enough to ask the questions you have. I will be praying for you both.
2007-02-01 21:20:48 · answer #7 · answered by livegrace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im glad to hear you are sticking by her through all of this. Thats what she needs right now is a strong person in her life to help her. When she gets out of the hospital shes going to need to get help..i mean ALOT of help. She has some really deep seeded issues that need to be fixed because if they arent shes going to keep trying to kill herself. She may need to go into one of the clinics that give her constant supervision and all the help she needs. Im so sorry to her that shes going through all of those things and I will keep her in my prayers. Just remember..shes been through alot, and although you may get frustrated let her know that you arent going to hurt her or leave her..let her know how much shes loved. Because its obviously something she didnt hear alot when she was young and it will help her more than anything.God Bless you and Good Luck.
2007-02-01 20:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well this happened to my best friend last year. she was depressed and she didnt care much for her life because of her situation at home. well when my team found out we all formed a support group for her. we made sure she told us if anything was wrong and we did things to make her take her mind off of her home situation. now shes living life and enjoying it. i think all your girlfriend needs is a little reality check and show her how grateful she should be to be alive. she just needs a little attention and support. and maybe a little more love
2007-02-01 20:33:33 · answer #9 · answered by rs3 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She needs God in her life. God loves her and you. Let her know that no matter what happens that God will always love her. God has a plan for her life. Thats so important. God is, always was, and always will be there for her. He will help her to get through these hard times in her life. Life is worth living. Dont let Satans lies deceive her into thinking that that life is not worth living. Believe in Gods Word. His Words are true. Believe in His Son and know that through His Son he saved us. Giving us the chance to have eternal life. The most important thing is that God has a plan for her life. That is amazing to know that God has always been there for us and wants to bless us in every area of our lives. I'll be sure to keep you guys in prayer.
God bless you
2007-02-01 20:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by Questions ^_^ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋