What the hell is a lubricator and does it make the pain in sex go away?

Question

why do girls have sex in the 1st place if it hurts and bleeds? i'm a virgin and i'm thinking even if i WERE to get married it's not worth it to have sex because of the immense pain and bleeding (but then my husband would prbasbly cheat on me...o well guess i'm not getting married lol)

but really does it hurt and bleed? and what's a lubricator? is it a cure for the pain?

and is it true tht orgasms hurt for girls? i thought orgasms were supposed to feel good?

Answer 1

well it should only hurt the first time but even then if you get a guy that is willing to go slow and gentle it shouldn't hurt and there wont' be immense pain i have not ever heard of immense pain unless the guy just rams into a virgin that is bone dry. and a orgasm won't hurt don't trust anyone that told you that

Answer 2

Ok, think about what your saying here for a second. If sex was so horrible and gory, do you really think everyone would be so into it? Everyone has different experiences with it, good and bad, but generaly, I'de say 98% of us keep coming back for more, so there must be more good than bad.
About the bleeding, some girls bleed a little the first time, the pain may come in if you've never done any foreplay to "warm things up down there" Lubricants do help things, like KY Jelly or a generic brand, don't really like the generic brands, cause they tend to get sticky and messy. the newer KY stuff stays pretty much non sticky.
In my opinion, if your still feeling this way about sex, then your not ready, don't let anyone pressure you, you'll know when your ready, not anyone else.

Answer 3

Okay sweetie, let's start here.
Intercourse hurts not drastically but some the first time, perhaps the 2nd or 3rd lessening each time. It stops hurting after your body becomes accustom to the "activity". The pain from your first sex comes from a little tissue barrier called your "Hymen" that will rupture or break when you have intercourse. You will spot blood but never as much as you would with a normal period.
You might have to wear a pantyliner for a day or two and remember to keep yourself very clean and dry in that sensitive area.

Lubrication happens naturally in the body when you become aroused as a preparation for sex.
Some women with certain medical conditions or as you age, and go into menopause need help because the body's hormones slow down the production of or stop making it's own lubrication to "help things along".

To my knowledge, orgasms do not hurt nor are they painful; there may be a condition that makes a small percentage of women have pain but I've never heard of it.

The best thing I can tell you is have your mom, aunt or grandmother and trust take you to a Gynecologist. This doctor is specialized in this area of a woman's anatomy---I personally perfer a woman Gyno because they understand if I say "I'm having mild cramps; or heavy bleeding".

You don't have to have an examination when you visit the doctor. She/He will be able to further explain this to you...perhaps in a way that's understandable *I'm trying..hope I can help*.

On a personal note; I waited till I was engaged before I had sex....and it was painful but no more so than a normal period and it only lasted a short while.

I hope this helps you with what you need to know. If your parents are unable to answer any of your questions; then talk to an adult you trust...because I remember the advice I heard girls give when I was younger and 80% of it so wrong. You need positive; correct information in order to be a strong, healthy, self-confident woman.

And before I close this note...let me say to please use protection; be it a condom or the birth control pill *you have to stay on it daily for approximately 30days before it will protect you but it will also help if you have very hard periods or bleed heavily during your period*.
YOU CAN GET PREGNANT YOUR FIRST TIME!!!!
I can't stress this enough...plz believe me because when I was in 10th grade; a girlfriend of mine became pregnant and didn't know that sex was how babies were made.

Below are some addresses that have more information and I really hope I've helped. Information is vital!!!!

God bless you as you mature; and blessings for your future!!

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art11624.asp

http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

http://www.sxetc.org/

Answer 4

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT,

Our reproductive organs are designed to only reproduce. Pleasure was never part of it. (Lets say God left that to us). But don't be afraid to experience pleasure.

There is something in the female vagina called the Hymen. Its like a small screen that blocks the vagina; when torn, it may cause bleeding. But don't be scared. The bleeding only lasts for the first five or six seconds when its torn and its not constant. The bleeding is not harm full. In fact 53% of females experience it when losing virginity. It must be torn tough in order to have sex. It only happens once.

Both the penis and the vagina produce natural lubricats. (If you mastrebath or have sex u will see it). But only for the first few minutes of sex. (remeber they are reproductive organs). When having sex the wetter and softer the vagina is, the easier to insert the penis or an object in it (Dildo). A lubricant is a liquide used to reduce the amount of friction during sex. Look, condoms do have lubricantes on it, but they only last for a while. So we use lubricants to reduce fraction, which provents the condom from braking, and and makes the vagina more slippery. Lubricant is sure a good thing to use during sex. I always use it. Especially during Anal Sex or really long periods of sex (having sex for longer than a hour).


In conclusion, sex is a wonderful thing. Dont be afraide to try it. By thinking like this about sex or other stuff in life, you are making life too safe which is bad. I recommend you, go and reasearch and read about this on the internet and talk to professionals about it.

If you have more questions related to sex or sexuality e-mail me at:
[e-mail]

Good luck.

Answer 5

wow who has been telling you that ****.....i bet it was your mother how old are you?????.......sex can be painful the 1st time around of course this all depends on the size of the man and how rough he is......and not everyone bleeds the first time out of the gates....i didn't my first was gentle,and it took 3 or 4 times before i spotted a little blood......and it was never really painful......having kids is painful not sex......a lubricator is something that you use to "grease it up" so things slide a little easier...of course our bodies have a natural lubricator as well.....orgasms DO NOT HURT!!!!!!! There GGRREEAAAATTTTT!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Lubrication is to help keep the vagina moist. Some women dry out, especially if intercourse goes on for an extended period or the woman is past menopause. If the vagina dries out sex could be painful for both the man and woman.

You are fearing sex too much. Believe me if sex was so painful or bad there wouldn't be so many people trying to suppress the words or act.

Oh, men use lubrication also when they have anal sex.

Answer 7

it doesn't bleed for all girls, and that is only the first time.

after that it is wonderful =)

my 1st time was not "immense pain" at all.

a lubricator is just something to reduce friction and help w/ a woman's natural lubrication for sex.

there does not need to be a "cure" b/c sex is great for both the man and the woman.

and orgasms are NOT painful, i have no idea where u would hear something so crazy.

Answer 8

In general sex DOES NOT hurt!. it hurts if you are not relaxed enough or if your partner is big and maybe rough.

lube used when you are not wet enough which can cause unpleasant sex.

sex on the whole is very pleasurable and orgasms feel great.

i think you need to give yourself some self pleasure and try a vibrator, that way you see that being penetrated is not so bad.

Answer 9

First of all, how old are you?
And second - no it doesn't hurt and could bleed just the first time.... lubricant makes the penetration easier and makes the whole experience more enjoyable...

Answer 10

It doesn't hurt that bad... it hurts like the first three times, then your over it... and most people don't bleed... trust me if it was that bad people wouldn't do it so much... so when you get married, hope he doesn't cheat and when you do the do... since he cares about you he'll take it slow and you'll be ok!!!