I want to know what will be the best option for my one year old daughter and I. I'm living in Washington right now because he is in the Army, but I've decided to get out while I can and move back home to my family in Iowa. I plan to contact a lawyer soon after I get home to discuss these things, but I'm just looking for some advice to calm my mind in the meantime. As far as finances and stuff like that, which is better? Will he be required to pay child support right away if we get a legal separation? How long does it take to get child support when you file for divorce? I'm only asking questions about money because I don't have any of my own (thanks to him) and I know he will do anything he can to keep me down. Help?
2007-02-01 11:17:24 · 17 answers · asked by .*AnNa*. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He treats me like crap, has drinking & anger issues... If you really need to judge my situation and know why I'm getting a divorce you can look at my other questions I've asked. Not enough time or room to type it all again here!
2007-02-01 11:26:50 · update #1
Separation is best because it can take a while for a divorce to get through the court systems. If he is the way you say he is then getting away from the situation is the best answer. When you go to the court for the separation, child support can start immediately after the separation. That is if he is willing to pay on his own will and not need to go to court for that. If he doesn't pay you are lucky that he is in the military as it will help you get court ordered support and his reputation will be damaged in the military if he doesn't pay.
2007-02-01 12:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by sdo3lg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If that's the case, divorce might be a better option, although he will be liable for child support right from when you walk out the door, he has a legal responsibility to take financial care of your & his daughter and if you have no funds of your own and are un-able to, then it is his responsibility to step up to the plate, but the best person to speak to about those matters would be your lawyer, he would be able to file the papers needed to get it moving as quickly as possible. I wish you luck...
2007-02-01 11:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Rusty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless a lawyer told you that you have to file for separation first before divorce - the person who told you such lies is stupid. You can file for divorce immediately given the circumstances. Get a medical certificate of the abuse if its visible. Based on those documents, I'm sure you'll get a divorce as fast as you can order a Big Mac. If he refuses to grant you a divorce, you can always use the medical records of the abuse as grounds to get him jail time. With a good lawyer, and enough guts, he'll be sorry he even messed with you.
2016-05-24 03:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation first. No divorce. I dont believe in divorce. Read the Bible hon. Wait. Does he beat you? Cheated? If that's the case, then get the hell out, but why are you trying to divorce him? What has he done? Seek some counseling first, because divorces are just so..... err final.....seriously. Are you leaving because he's in the Army? How long has he been in there? Before you two married? If that's the case, maybe you should have thought about all of that (him not being home....etc.) before you said "I Do".
2007-02-01 11:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by ~So Divine~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you are tired of each other or if he is an ******, go for divorce. Get a good attorney with a solid reputation and things will work out fine. A separation will offer you no financial benefit. Yeah, its a simple answer but honestly, it is all that you need to know.
2007-02-01 11:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I live in WA and I think you get child suppot either way. He is also required to help with childcare so you can work.
This won't be true if you are running off while he's away and not informing him first. I'm not trying to be mean, I just wasn't clear on whether he knew of your plans or not.
I am sorry this is happening. Good luck with everything!
2007-02-01 11:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Heather P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first, get a good lawyer...you can file for divorce or seperation, which ever one you want...but only a lawyer can really tell u your best course of action and since you have no money most likely you will be able to afford legal aide...
but since he is in the army, maybe you can get alimony and child support... ...good luck.
2007-02-01 11:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has commited adultry. And you don't forgive him leaving him would begin a separation. You need to call child support enforcment. By him working for the government you will get support easy because they would rather get the money from him rather than give it to you through food stamps or TANF.
2007-02-01 11:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by lil Trouble 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either way the end result is the same: a divorce. If you propose a separation, you'll give him hope that the differences can be overcome. So that would be tagging him along.
2007-02-01 11:32:05 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my mom separated and still havent divorced it has been 4 yrs and just say to ur daughter that dad is going to be gone for a while and she might understand believe me I'm 12 and i know how it feels u should separate first. my mom did that and we stayed with my grandparents for a while. we didn't even tell my dad we were going, he was gone for a week and we left then, it was sad, but we got over it.
2007-02-01 11:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by T a y N i i C h a n :) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋