I've been married for 8 months and lost my virginity when I got married. I just can't understand why I don't like sex like every other girl does. Its not very enjoying to me. What should I do?
2007-02-01 11:06:53 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, I'm a Christian and I wanted to wait!! So I didn't want "experience"!
2007-02-01 11:13:12 · update #1
I'm 21 and almost 22! I'm not young.
2007-02-01 12:45:20 · update #2
I too have been married for 8 months, and saved myself for marriage. And I have to admit, it was comforting to read your question and know that I'm not the only one who doesn't really enjoy sex. Granted there are times when I really do enjoy it, but for the most part I just can't seem to get into it. Do you have pain when you make love? I know that is one big thing for me...it still hurts quite a bit. I've talked to my doctor about it, and she just said that I need to just learn to relax more. I was hoping for a little more than that from my doctor, but I would recommend you talk to your doctor about it because there are certain things that could be causing pain, and making sex unenjoyable for you. Also, see if you can get the book Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman. It is written from a Christian perspective and has a lot of helpful advice. You could check out familylife.com as well...they have quite a good selection of books in their resource section on the topic of sex. And I read some good articles on this website my hubby found: marriagebuilders.com
I hope this has helped a little. And know that you are not alone! :)
2007-02-01 14:38:44 · answer #1 · answered by Amber I 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex isn't always fun or enjoyable...If you're not in it mentally, then you won't be into it physically, you know what I'm saying? I'm glad you waited for marriage, there aren't too many of you out there. Don't think that it's your husband, don't think that you need to go out and see if sex is enjoyable from someone else. It's not! Try to have a good mental attitude about sex and maybe you would enjoy it more. Are you on any kind of medication that would reduce your libido? That could be it too.
2007-02-01 19:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to decide if it's him you aren't enjoying. Do you get any gratification from any of the acts or is it painful? There are different things you can do, try looking thru search engines online and see if he is ommitting something in the whole process. (don't want to go into detail here!) Is he experienced or also a virgin? There's just alot of what if's, but don't give up if you love him, talk to you mom or sister or friends. Someone can give you some ideas as to why you don't enjoy it..Good luck.
2007-02-01 19:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by justright73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all girls are all crazy about sex. After 15 years (and several partners), I still feel like I could "take it or leave it". I've been trying to figure out what is it that others see in it, but I guess it's just not my thing. It happens! Don't worry too much about it, take your time; you might come to enjoy it more as you and your husband get more comfortable with each other. Don't be afraid to tell him what you like - men are not mind readers, you need to guide them. It's fine if you like some things and not others - but you have to communicate it to him. Good luck.
2007-02-01 19:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not the only woman out there that doesnt enjoy sex... there have been alot of stories done on it..
but u werent clear to is it your husband that doesnt get you excited? if so, you need to let him know so that u two can work on making it more enjoyable for you...
but if u just dont like it , then maybe there is something wrong and u should see a doc...it may be hormonal....
either way, be honest with your husband...good communication is the key to a good marriage..
good luck.
2007-02-01 19:31:01 · answer #5 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might not appreciate sex yet because you lost your virginity what im guessing at a young age if not, just think of your man, and what pleasures him should pleasure you . It's all about sharing the moment with love , trust , and security right in that bed, your bed, two together naked. It's about God and you guys. Don't over think it .
2007-02-01 20:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by TCC Revolution 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say that this is not unusual and you are normal. Many people (mostly women) just don't enjoy it. If you are concerned about it, I would talk to your gynecologist. I am one that has never enjoyed sex, either. I don't know if it's just me, or if I have a low libido. Never cared enough to find out!
Whatever your reasons are, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Everybody is different. I would talk to your husband about it. Maybe he could try something different.
2007-02-01 19:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by Pom♥Mom Spay and Neuter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that your hubby needs some advice on the bedroom. Go see a sex therapists. It could be your sex drive or you just plain don't like having sex. Whatever it is you need to find some kind of help because no one should go there whole life having bad sex.
2007-02-01 19:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your husbands fault, its always the man! Go read some porn or watch some movies and get the hang of it.Have your hubby do it with you. It sounds like you are both inexperienced and need some help. Have a drink and loosen up a bit. Tell yourself it feels good and tell your hubby what to do to you to make it even better.
2007-02-01 20:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kinda like a light, if you dont flick the light switch, then the light dont turn on.
Same with a women, if you dont play with the button, the female love button, then the female will not turn on.
Guide him to the button and tell him how to operate it,,, then hang the heck on for a toe curler, back scratchin good time.
2007-02-01 19:26:55 · answer #10 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋