No really, I told my friend about a previous question I asked and she inquired if I could ask this for her (she's at work).
Her and her hubby got married after they had already had a child. About once a year she starts yearning for greene pastures/ new life.
Sometimes its a change in who she's with she wants, sometimes she just wishes she could move.
She wants to know if this is a sign they shouldn't be together or if most people go through this. I told her I thought it was normal to go into "what if" mode from time to time.
What do you think?
2007-02-01 10:47:38 · 12 answers · asked by Heather P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal, but can be dangerous in a relationship if the phases get longer and harder to get through. The "what if" question is nothing but fantasy and everyone knows how a fantasy usually plays out if you try to make it a reality. Nothing ever goes like you planned or dreamed it would. She should seek counseling to understand that it is just normal, but acting on these feelings could be the wrong thing and make her life worse. She should focus on making the life she has already chosen the best that it can be. After all, she's not the only person involved here.
2007-02-01 10:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is only natural to always wonder if the grass would be greener somewhere else, with someone or maybe alone. I have been married for 30 years, and sometimes i still wonder and probably always will. It doesn't mean I am not happy or want to cheat with someone else, a woman is always needing to feel wanted and appreciated and loved. She needs to feel sexy and that she still has what it takes to attract someone--anyone. I hope he is as understanding as my hubby and lets her grow and develop her own personality. My man lets me have space to grow when i need a change, that is how we have stayed together. I have flirted around lots of times, and he knows it. I always make sure i inform whoever I am talking to that I am married though. Happily married! They still like to talk to me, I am friendly and i imagine your friend is too. To be tied down would be so suffocating, I would die. I hope they can work it out and her husband will trust her and let her have some room. Its not that she wants away from him, she just needs to be allowed some freedom to develop who she is, besides a wife and a mother. You are a good friend to do this for her! I'm sure she appreciates you a lot. Good Luck!
2007-02-01 19:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Linda W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's normal. One could feel this way about a relationship, a career decision, or any number of things. I've never experienced it in relationships (once I commit, I don't look back) - but I have my "what ifs" in regards to moving to the US, and it's been almost 15 years. Doesn't mean I don't like it here, just means that I had to give up some things, and I miss them. I try and remind myself that one ALWAYS has to give up something in order to gain something else. Had I stayed in my home country, I would be forever wondering "what if" I had taken that chance and moved away to a better place. There's no way around it.
2007-02-01 19:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal...We all sometimes yearn to be free of the constraints of a marriage, child, relationship....but I say that the greener pastures are only that way from all the "fertilizer" that's underneath. So while it may look snazzy it smells like crap!
2007-02-01 18:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by digdowndeepnseattle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WE all get philosophical at times to contemplate "the road not taken". It is part of being human. We are creatures that have control of our own destiny. So, it is our nature to ask such a question.
This is one of the reasons the IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE is so popluar. Asking "What would the world be like if I weren't there?"
2007-02-01 19:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by zax_fl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everybody wants greener pastures and another life ..tell her to just get on with living .. stuff happens and well what is she going to do change everything everytime she feels blue.. she will be doing a lot of changing and then one day you find yourself to old to change and then what do you do.. you are stuck
2007-02-01 20:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its fairly normal to question things in life, adversity in life creates uncertainty, love always involves courage, marriage is tough requires alot of work, and alot of giving in. we will always wonder where we would be had we taken a different path in life, but we didn't, so we have to take the good with the bad, unless it's abuse or adultery.
2007-02-01 19:03:19 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal, I am not sure what she can do about it, but with over 50% divorce rate, I know a lot of people think there is greener grasses! there is not
2007-02-01 19:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by loulou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is a normal thing to go into the what if mode as long as she doesn't go with those feelings.
2007-02-01 19:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You friend is acting like a 5 year old. If it wasn't for her husband and child, I'd say she deserves to be alone and unhappy.
2007-02-01 18:58:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋