My hubby is not ready to start trying yet and I was just wondering if anyone else was in the same situation as me: in 30s, want a baby, husband not ready to start trying yet...
2007-02-01 10:36:53 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually, I'm in the same situation as your husband... In my 30s, married, not ready to "start trying"; I'm just dragging it out for as long as possible! My husband wants children, but he's not pushing me, and I'm not bringing it up. We got married with an agreement that we WILL have kids, so there definitely are kids in our future; just not yet.
Your husband might never be "ready". The question is - is he willing to go ahead and have children with you even though he might not "feel" ready? I told my husband to let me know when he wants to try for a child, and I will go with it; if we were to wait until I'm "ready" - we would never have kids. If you and your husband had a prior agreement to have children, it is not fair to you for him to be making you wait much longer; you certainly don't want to wait so long that you can't get pregnant.
2007-02-01 10:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and talk to him about your desire to have a baby soon. Don't worry too much about your age. These days its quiet okay to have a baby late in life and they are born healthy. Look at the celebrities that have had babies later in life, and its not just celebrities.... I had my son at age 33 and he is now 8 and a great joy, and my sister had her baby at 42, he is a healthy 17 month old. Your husband may be concerned about being able to afford children or even if he is ready to be a dad...
2007-02-01 10:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by wickedly_funny66 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the math with him. He's 30 now, if you and he have a child now, by the time your child is 18, he will be 48.........still young. If he waits til he's 40 to have a kid, he would be 58 when your kid turns 18 ; it means he has to work til he's 58 to support your kid and he hasn't made it to the U yet. Lots of slogging for another 5-6 years? That means late retirement.
2007-02-02 01:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are a decision that the two of you make, not just you, so don't trick him..... You have no idea what resentment that will bring, and it may end your marriage. If any of these idiots tells you to just forget your bc pills, hon, no no no..... every child deserves to be wanted and planned for by both parents.
I can understand your desire for a child, and his for not wishing the responsibility... and frankly, you need to find out if this is something he is just putting off and hopes never comes about. Because you do need to know... If having a child is THE deal breaker in your marriage, you have a right to leave it, and find a husband who wants children...
2007-02-01 10:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm 33, single (in long term relationship), no kids (by choice). what's the rush? why are you in such a hurry to get them? your husband may not be ready to be tied down to kids just yet. he may be still trying to enjoy what free time that he does have (to himself and to you). have you thought about that? if he is not ready then there is nothing that you can do about it. not even trying to talk to him. if he is not ready then he is not ready. maybe he is not ready financially. because babies are extremely expensive. financially, emotionally, physically...because once they are here...the real work begins and there is no rest for at least 18 years. if you want help in dealing with your baby feelings then i will suggest for you to babysit. babysit as much as you can to at least help curve this baby craving of yours. if you push the issue with him then one of you can end up resentful and that is not healthy in a relationship. i say be patient. and fill up your spare time with activites that may help to either curve your baby cravings or to help take your mind off of it. and i'm not saying these things to be mean...but one more thing...please don't oops him. that is the worst thing that you can do.
2007-02-01 11:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was previously married and had 2 before my true wife came into the picture. Knowing the value of nurturing a relationship after marriage, we both decided to take an extended honeymoon. about 9 years of it. Now we have wild 4yo running around and the wait was worth it.
2007-02-01 10:41:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are born with one set of eggs. His juice is always producing. The older you get the older your eggs get. After you are 35 your baby has a greater chance of developmental problems. He neds to be open to the idea sooner rather than later. Im shure he didn't tell you he didn't want kids when he married you. So he needs to be fare to you and his child. He won't be the one giving birth and developing.
2007-02-01 10:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by lil Trouble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea --I'm the husband in the situation!!!32-no kids-and my wife is really wanting one--I guess I have to give in eventually but, when are you ready ??? It's just a little scary I guess!!!
2007-02-01 10:41:59 · answer #8 · answered by I'm laughing WITH you 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it's ur husband an u need ur husband 2 make tha baby an u still have time caz i'm sure if u didn't wanna have a baby ur husband would understand so u should respect dat he is ot ready
2007-02-01 10:48:44 · answer #9 · answered by Restricted 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him Ginseng! All my kids were born after I started taking that. I couldn't keep my hands of the memsahib with that in my system.
Any ladies out there want babies, bring ginseng and meet me in a dark corner of Yahoo! Guaranteed success.
2007-02-01 11:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋