What would you do?

Question

This is how my life is. I either am a part of my family or I am totally apart from it. I have lived near to or with my family for most of my life, it is getting more and more difficult to have any kind of indipendant life away from the family because I feel like they need me to survive. I wish they had their lives togeather and did not need me. I would like to fly away to a better reality and I wish they had a better life too but im so tired of dealing with their problems. However I would feel a huge guilt trip if i ran out on them now. What would you do.

Answer 1

That's exactly how you stay stuck- you feel a guilt trip.
You apparently believe that it is your duty to take care of them. And, since you have been doing that, this is what they have come to expect.
If you try to not "do what you've been doing", they would most likely hit you with a guilt trip. Hey, they don't want to lose a good thing here- you're taking care of their needs, right?
How do YOU define yourself? Is it really up to you to pay their way, to rescue them, to shoulder their load?
Helping someone, especially family is fine, and can be expected. But taking on their responsibilities, helping them "survive" is NOT.
The next time, just tell whoever that you're not able to do(whatever) ...and stick with it. Sure you'll feel guilty, but that's because you are breaking out of the mold that you've been in for how long now? I have been right where you are. It is difficult. But it can be done.
You teach people how to treat you.